Show I pried froth A rockland man nian paw saw advertised aca a sure cure for drunkenness iio ho forwarded the feces ary dollar and received by return mail wail written on oil a valuable postal card in beautiful violet ink the magic words dant dont drink yon you were not riding this afternoon cicely my rily dear inquired her intimate last evening no dont you think my dear little pony lias bas the pinkeye that dreadful lic adful and a dark daryled red pony at that how unbecoming to his complexion ill in the land ot of borneo no young man is allowed to pay his respects to a maiden unless he lie has taken off the head of one or more of his enemies in this country putting a head on oil ones enemy is is considered the correct thing two extremes of civilization it take much to fit out a variety actor ina in a suit for damages against one of these humble distri ous ons in philadelphia the actors property was wu attached and it transpired that all he lie had was a whistle and a pair of side whiskers he had bad pretty nearly hearly enough to open a real estate office we find a little book thus advertised in the tile local merry 31 erry swiss journal montreux as a 11 health resort by A E leeson M A 31 D to the infirmary of diseases of the climso Al margaret argaret street london 1877 the grip on the english n fisli language they appear to have gained dined on the tic I chores shores of the lake geneva is surprising there arc are two farmers in rockland whose property ad adjoins j one of them raised a full crop of potatoes in a certain field while his nei gli bors field on the other side of the fence produced not a potato this singular circumstance is is explained bained by the fact that the latter ent plant any potatoes in the field in question e A piece of sheet iron with an alleged picture orsome of some one on it see hypothesis dastard if ift the ejai jailer will admit you dr Dream e am a nocturnal illusion in which the sufferer falls over huge precipices encounters wild anim animals a ls and creditors and ends up by rolling out of bed see mince pic pie said the teacher and it came to pass when king II Il ezekiah heard it that he rent his clothes edw what does that mean children he rent his clothes and the boy with a big brother said it was letting a fellow have the use of cm em for a few dollars as brother dave did with his ulster last spring and wishes now he lie very few people have any idea of the tile ness the austin street car ear is capable of only yesterday a lady with a two year old boy got in the car she paid her own faro lare and asked what was the aba cba charge e for the infant no charge rg madam ad we only charge adults then I might as well pay he ile will be grown up before he gets there im going five block blocks conscientious guard 11 I am afraid pir the young lady cant bo be permitted to travel on oil a half ticket mile much over twelve years of ae a age e irate papa do you mean t to inform me sir that my dal daughter I eliter and I are endeavoring to swindle the railroad rail load company let mo me tell you sir that weve never been so grossly insulted on this line before although kvelve weve both traveled on it for over f fifteen years I here were we have an all oyster it is going to a church fair when it gets to the fair it will swim around ina in a big kettle of warm water A lady will stir it with a spoon and sell the warm water for two bits a pint then the oyster will move to the next fair I this way the tile oyster will visit all the church C F fairs airs in town and ind bring a great many dollars into tile treasury the oyster ster goes a great way in ill a good i cause ira u s c A railroad bial brakeman zeman atte attempted in t e d suicide in new york a few sa days ys sin since ce in ili an unguarded moment he lie called out the name of a station so distinctly that near nearly two thirds odthe of the passengers understood it and when the full enormity t of the unprofessional professional dional act dawned upon him remo remorse ans like a worm in in the bud fastened its lacerating fingers upon his conscience and tortured him until life became a bu burden rilen other brakemen will no doubt heed well the lesson and in future use the utmost caution in in making their weird announcements outrage by a policeman sam Jahn sing was up again yesterday what brings you here this time asked the recorder de do man sail sah do saino same one what bring me heah de last time I mean what did you do I A as assess jess ess pas passin sill a grocery store when I i struck my head a agin gin a ham bain what was hanging banging by the dore I tuck de ham liam down t to put it whar it would be safe for folks burstin their brains out agin it when dc de fust I knowel a pl placeman iceman tried to get de ham liam away from me and bekasi I let de ham liam go he lie jus beung me along too |