Show v fried alad froth hall man inan got off the foll following the oth day and as he ile lias has not been een keen since foul piny I is suspected there iba u a four floter fis fish liTin in mexico called ax axolotl oloti and if you want to knon know any more about it axolotl question an am old etory story in a new form is 13 going the grand rounds and tella tells about a young ann at table chota at one of the rural hotels wait era are employed ho ijo wanted a beverage with his us roast and rind su sum in the maiden to whom lie hoseid said have you any porter ye said she wo we have three or four but they arc aro all colored where ignorance igni orance is 13 bliss it is the height of absurdity to be intelligent A lady who was preparing m bathing in suits for a trip cast for the summer in er wrote to an eastern fashion paper to know what the style of bathing suits would bo be for children ren r say ay from five to six years old sho she received a reply that this year tear the bathing suits for boys were ve very ry si simple consisting consists con sisti ug of a wad of cotton in each car the lady will adlao this suit a red yarn string troung her boys neck and then let him go loose samuel handall randall says lie docs does not want to bo be governor of pennsylvania A beautiful girl looked out of her window ofie one day and saw her rude li brother rother on lie the sidewalk walking about on ills his hands with hh his feet dangling in the ilia air tom toni she said reprovingly dont tom I do that tom indeed I replied tho the rudo rude boy looking up tip and speak ing with marked marke dand and malicious cm clil I aphasia by jove you coul dalt ill said a singer to a farmer I would like to engage board gitil au you for fur a month the husbandman looked at him a moment then asked what do you do for a livin 90 01 sing in a church choir in the city you nu do eh ch well you cant board with me why not said the wondering w warbler a abler cause replied the soil tiller tho last fellow who boarded with me was a singer and ho lie had such a thun thundering derin bass voice that every time ho lie growled all tho the milk in the cellar turned sour aur A boston burglar worked for six solid hours on a safe in a newspaper office and was rewarded by finding not any actual cash but the note of hand of a prominent politician for 87 which ho lie owed for election tickets ho be had ordered printed aselio As tho safe was ruined the best way or rather the safest way would be to e either ither leave the safo wido wide open or else have a glass window in it affording affo ding iding from the ido a view of tho the lack of contents something should bo be done to protect the hardworking burglar from the imposition im i of journalists somo some men says kayo an eminent anatomist have three hands ri right hand left liand land and a little behind hand wo we have often observed men with more hands than this some have a right hand band a left hand band a little be before ore hand an upper hand an under hand an empty hand band a full hand four aces a bold bola bad hand and aland a hand with a heart in it that promises to stick to him until death do us part making Z a grand total of ten what a magnificent old culio curiosity sity this is to be sure there is but ono one set of hands bands that can beat it they belong to the new jers jersey cy bank cashier we once on suggested to a butcher that he put his scales where the customers could see tho ilia dial not necessarily for publication but merely as a pledge of good faith oh yes yeo ho lie replied scornfully I suppose after a while when you buy a live five cent soup bone you will expect me to put on my swallowtail swallow tail r sunday un day coat and tind my stovepipe hat hire the finest hack back in town and ii brass band bands go in in procession to your shanty and deliver the soup bone we assured him he was mistaken that no such idea had bad ever entered our lie head ad but wo we never afterward enriched him with any more suggestions how bow to acquire the esteem fugn and respect of his fellow citizens there is an old beau at austin colonel about five years old but he be is is as is spry as anybody and is firmly persuaded he lie is tho ilia handsomest man in tho the city ho ile was avas present at a little littles social ocial gathering a few nights ago when the lecture of oscar wilde at san antonio camo came up tip for discussion it was also stated lie was a very handsome man 1103 oscar car is not only handsome but they say lie carries a pistol to shoot the first man he sees who ho he thinks is handsomer than himself remarked one of the party Is that eo g gasped a e d colonel 11 retti I man turning pale ia e and here I have gone and bought a ticket to go over to san an antonio to hear him hira lecture |