Show fried Is dis lacall letter all right boss asked an austin darkey handing the clerk a letter lie wanted to send tiff offia in the uail mail the clerk weighed d the letter and returned it saying you want to io put another jan stamp u upon p on it it weighs too much ef f I putt aix another other stamp on de ietter letter dat wont make it any lighter dats vine ter tc make it weigh more turned in his tomb spirit of thomas jeffer jefferson son present question well thomas how bow have you been resting since you left us jefferson pretty retty avello well thank you but I did lid turn over in my grave on once cc question why when was that thomas defier son it was when the louisville newspapers began to put hon in before the name of a police court judge troy times what is a yacht we in inquired aired of f along gaunt vao who was lounging abent the wharf a yot yet said the fisherman well you gets any sort of a craft you please and fi fill 11 her up with liquor and and get yer frens on board and have a high ole time and a yot we thanked him with fervor for we had bad long been trying to find out what a yacht really was A clarg clergyman man of boston hasmet was wa smet met last hist vack Z a woman who nho has little reverence for the cloth tell me said she with a benignant smi smile lie which did not howe however ve r disguise the audacity of her question why vy you close your cli church in the summer Donot do vou r parishioners parishioners require to be protected from the evil in the warm weather as well as I 11 in the cold oh bless your soul no was the prompt response the devil never stays in t town wn in july and august he be follows the rest of the L lie world to the watering places it must havo have been in memphis moses the younger eat sat in th the store estore read reading il the evening paper and all of a sudden u den he called calle dout out fadder Fadd cr fadder vat is it my roy son A case of yellow fever only six milea miles awall moses yes fadder pea Pe ginto inato pack up dem coats and west by tomorrow to morrow dit da yellow fever ahill be in town and ahill be telegraphed to new york i und by the nex day we mus fail und offer to pay 20 cents on der I ahas looking for it all last week how much to la pay as bcd a bosto bostin ii broker after he lie had be been hauled around by a niagara falls hackman for two hours nine dollars nine dollars why a gross swindle oh no sir its perfectly straight business we arc are both in the same line how flow sir both ot of us deal in watered stocks between the two of us im pin ahead I allow my vic victims ten choices of locations for committing suicide while you cant give them three nine dollars sir correct come azaine before a biotti in a villa village ge fair flaring flaring placards announce the celebrated berated woman fish price of admission 15 centi centimes cen times tho the booth is promptly crowded the stage mana mada ger draws up the curtain and a little old woman appears on the and dropping a courtesy says ladies and find gentlemen I am a woman fish murmurs yes ladies and gentlemen my husband isidore fiah fish died three years years ago aco leaving me a widow and as aou you seem to take such a lively interest in my fl fortunes oi I will proceed to take up a callec the audience vanishes and makes room for a new one the new reporter was argent fent to tho the school exhibition abis his report read pretty well but there were a few things in it that did hot not meet the ap approval boval of the local editor such for instance as these the essays ways of the graduating class wore were good od Ny whoever hoever wrote them the go ho floral ri offerings were excessive and from the number received by miss sim we judge her father keeps a fir first class lass greenhouse the young jady who read the valedictory to the teachers tea chera has in her the making of an actress she simulated sorrow so accurately that the writer might have been misled had he not subsequently heard the young lady speak of bf this sam edear teacher as a hateful old thing the shower came up or rather it came come down a shower never comes up so unexpectedly that nearly everybody waa taken by surprise and jefferson streets street was as in a panic young 31 maager asher who never goes goe without his umbrella saw his opportunity port unity and tailing up to the prettiest girl with the prettiest hat in all burlington made a bow that is warranted to kill acroca the street and said may I offer you my umbrella oh a thousand thanks she said papa will bring it down to the office broce in tho the rooming morning and tind she sailed away dry shod leaving him desolate and soaking in his loneliness like a pelican iu in the wilderness and as a weathervane weather vane upon the housetop |