Show air pumps and glue N Y it is all very well fur the lie positivists and other of christianity to tell ais that we must have aith faith in science but how can call wi wo have faith in it when it is constantly confessing con fasing its awn own mistakes if there is anything with which ought to bo be perfectly familiar it is flies the average scientific person is bald headed beaded and of such arc are tl chosen victims of flies when occupied with liia his microscope or backboard the scientific person aff affords lords a field of activity to flies which ch they ley never fail to improve and since since they know all about scientific persons and can distinguish the taste of ofa a mathematician from the flavor of a philosopher we have a right to suppose that scientific persona persons have a thorough and accurate knowledge of flies flics in ili fact they have always claimed to possess possess such knowledge they have written elaborate t textbooks on oil flies dividing divi ding them into nto i a dozen different species such su ell as the bluebottle blue bottle fly the upstairs up stairs fly the dinner table flynne the carly mo morning III fly they have told us usall all about a b out the habits of flies sand and one scientific person per zon lias ling ili invented an inspru instrument ent with which as lie pretends he lie can hear the footsteps of the flies when walking and tind the deaf ming sound ninda by them when trumpeting through gh their we have believed all these abortions but now comes the tho german scientific person prof beintz and alleges that a a great mistake has been made in ill points of flies and that we must abandon as untenable one of the most pleasing peculiarities hitherto attributed to flies we have always been told that ia enabled to walk on oil the ceiling by reason odthe of the air pumps with which lie is provided provide llo was said to carry an all air pump in each hand or foot and by exhaust exhausting ill the air from under the soles of hia T feet with those pumps to be able to fasten hini himself kelf to the ceiling by atmospheric mo pressure this was a beautiful theory and it was often referral referred to in illustration of the intelligence I of flies and of the wisdom of nature in making ceilings smooth enough to afford opportunities port unities for these air air pumps 11 we e were told that we ought to imitate tho the wisdom and forethought of flies flie and to provide our ourselves ourselves selve with air air pumps so that wo too could walk on coi ceilings lings and we were warned not to ba be proud of our steam engines and bicycles when an insect as small as the fly could lay over us to use a scientific form in connection with air pumps and now we are told by prof beintz that tho the fly lias has no air air pumps and never had any and that no fly ever dreamed of walking on oil the ceiling by the help of atmospheric pressure of course prof beintz has a of his own it is that every fly carries carries a quantity of spalding spaldings dings s prepared glue with him by the help of which he be sticks his feet fast to the ceiling or to the wall and walks safely where were it not for the glue he lie would adu id bo be totally unable to walk this is in the professors opinion i nion an admirable theory but ft a litt little le examination will show that it is utterly untenable let us suppose that a fly intending to climb up a smooth and perpendicular cular surface a mirror for example glues two of his forefeet to it and then pulling his hind feet after him bim glues them also to the mirror so far his exploit has ben uben an easy one provided his glue has been of a good od quality but n now ow if he lie anten intends gd t ts pursue his bis journey he lie must lift his fore feet and glue them to the mirror at a point just above his head how is he lie to do this if the glue is strong enough to keep him in position in spite of the weight of his body it is so strong strom that he be cannot wrench his feet boose loose from the mirror without a tremendous effort even if we grant that he lie can loosen his feet by sheer muscular force it must take some timo time to do this and to glue himself fast to a new place that a fly should bo be able to run in such circumstances is simply preposterous it would tako take a fly of average strength fifteen minutes to creep over a foot ef of perpendicular per mirror and two or three hours to cross the ceiling of a large room we all know that flies ca can run as rapi rapidly 11 y across the ceiling as as they can across actable a table thia this fact completely overthrows the theory that they use glue in the manner described by prof beintz and leaves us without with u t any answer whatever to tho the qu question e s how do flies walk on the ceiling fortunately it is not difficult by inventing a new theory to answer this question the proboscis of the fl fly is a wonderfully strong weapon ending in a diamond pointed anted drill with this ho lie can call nia make a hole in the hardest substance with a single blow of course the hole is too small to bo be seen by tha the human eye but if the fly makes the hole with his proboscis it must be there whether we can sec see it or not the instant the hole is made the fly inserts one foot in it and pulls ili himself sl f u up or along as the case ma may be wac while ho lie makes in akes a new hole avit with I his proboscis the system is precisely like that in use among the alpine who climb clim perpendicular walls of ice by cutting holes with an all axe and inserting their hands and feet in the holes A flys proboscis is comparatively a vastly more efficient tool than the alpine climbers axe and he lie wields it with such rapidity that he lie is able to move over a per factly smooth I looth surface at the rote of eleven feet e t per ec mccond cond while ranking making tn dut li tance atice of one quarter of an all inch apart there is is lot slightest proof of the truth of this theory but thero was not liot the least proof of the truth of the nir ail finup pinup theory ft lucli ociell scientific p persons dersons compelled m to believe for nearly n aly a hundred red years the ease with which this latter theory hns lins been thrown ade shows us that we can call place no sort of confidence in science since it is liable to change its mind concerning flies nt tit any moment and since what it docs does in re gard to flies it may do in regard to any other subject |