Show COW the almost indescribable anguish she caused her master Natlia nathaniel lliel said mrs to her bar husband 11 I think the family would be a great deal healthier if wo had a cow to furnish pure milk the nasty chalky mixture we ave get from the milkman is simply abominable mrs goldman has just purchased ur an excellent cow and YI mrs N bowman told me she was going to betone get one and nathaniel my dear interrupted her husband a cow ia is too expensive and too troublesome to keep beside in the summer time the neighbors arc are always complaining about tho the flies to th the e police mrs T d beat the carpet with her foot angrily burst into a flood of tears and d that no matter how slight was her I it was iva s never gratified the result resul was that picked up his hat dashed out of the house and visiting the newspaper offices advertised for a good gentle cow the next morning mornin g a read headed roan man with a nose I looking aoki ng like a corrugated tomato and leading a brindle colored mulcy cow by a rope appeared at the Tod Todi abury bury domicile domic ife the tile man said the cow furnished about a water bucketful milk twice a day and was worth not a cent less than 50 after considerable objections finally paid the man the money and the cow was duly installed in the woodshed and food provided for her the next morning visited the woodshed forthe for the pur purpose lose of viewing his new now purchase and failing to notice that the gate of the yard leading to the street was open turned the cow out of the woodshed intending to allow her to exercise her limbs she did so the first exercise e she indulged in was t to poun pound d in the stomach split his coat aciz and pants in the back and hurl him backward into a woodpile after which she dashed through the open gate into the street where she conc concerned eNed the idea that she was a revolving battering ram and that the entire world was her enemy As soon as the crazy idea entered herberd her head she hoisted bertail her tail asa as a bottle fly and galloped down the street with an eye to business seeing quite a crowd congregated on the tle sidewalk she concluded it was time for the battle to commence and opened on the en enemy eilly at the first fire an aristocratic old bondholder with a white beaver hat liat and a large stomach was struck in the watch pocket and fell with a crushing thud upon a coil of barbed wire standing anding et in front of a store near by the cow realizing the advantage she had attained by the sudden onslaught and believing victory was now within her grasp double shot ted lier her bow battery and bellowed with joy the next time sh pulled the trigger a boy with a sore toe too and a man with a long ladder on his shoulder went down in a heap the din of battle the howls of the wounded mingling with the victorious war whoops of the cow made the street unusually unusually lively at that time of the day the cow seeing that she had successfully turned the left wing blazed away at the right two comfere commercial ial drummers a hoop boop skirt an old school presbyterian and a set of false teeth covered the sidewalk like amorous a porous plaster and plainly indicated that the shot had bad raked the frightened enemy fore and aft brave men who marched into the flame of belching cannon without a tremor of four skinned their I legs e s getting up on high fences where to the view was belter better and yelled to the crowd to knock tile dickens out of the darn dam cow with clubs and stonecoal the crowd however having the same desire to obtain a good view cloned their way and shed posts and informed the bravo brave men inen that they ley could step to arkansas in a few moments the street was cleared and the cow continued her charge in search ofner of new conquests and was finally landed in the pound for sometime some time after ke kept t quite busy trying to compromise t the e damage suits which persons brought a against a him who had bad suffered ered from t tho a pugnacious propensities of liis his co cow W after a great deal of trouble he be sold the cow for and managed to settle the damage suits by paying out nearly |