Show BILL TO the heal wat ot jan 30 contain the following unique political the well known and well liked western bill nyc to the elect lion J A garfish Garf isU ohi car W T jan S SIR I hare been trying for tome lime to mite i you hay beba very impatient be came did not do BO but I bare been in a good deal cf a hurry for tho past few months having the indian question tion and somo other am matter on hand I am aware that nearly every one has the start of me in frankly ads milting to you that they secured your election but I abill hope that it is not too late not I cannot tell a lie it was the who brought about the gratifying demilt I the time to eo on and show you how I did it and unless you insist upon it I will omit the tedious detail however the victory is due very largely to a campaign song that I wrote it waa the mol touching little gem that the great world of K over knew it waa called the new campaign song and waa so arranged by meang of a thumbscrew thumb screw and movable type that it could be used with your own name or gen Uan cock the idea was to save time and the wear and tear of intellect you kaow what a mental train it auit require to bring forth a melodious chunk of caw pain song well the republican did not ad opt thi bong for torn leaon maybe they thought it lacked r intellectual stiffness any way they to buy township rights ol 01 the author at the nominal price charged the democracy however par chased the song and worked it in the doubtful states need I bay mere wherever that campaign gongol mine struck it left death and deso aaion it was the most deadly gob of melody that I ever hulled at a public let people go right on attributing his victory to conkling or oen rant or biarne or dorey or kelly nil you and I away doan in our secret souls away from the prying aze of the hungry world well know bat there was a hidden cause for bis national triumph probably you will wish to edge this little favor of mine and in our way you will rill ask me to select cabinet position ut do not do so let some por man leave it in my place the life of the ostensible humorist IBS its little blotcher blotches blot ches of gleona of course and yet it is not devoid of uns hioe it is not sunshine with 10 much glory as the office of secre ary of state but man fedeli less es he can go home in the night and take olt his coat and rest nd eat a dishpan full of twenty ance pippins and swear at the hired ail and stand off his grocer and its lob odya business the great cold world of selfishness and cabaron cussedness cannot enter there the newspaper man may not be honored much but he can pit in the wood box and havo ft pretty good time if he has a clear conscience and liver that he can depend upon public life never had any charms for me ive served my constituents now over four years as justice f the peace and yet daring that whole time I often looked back upon the glad life I led before I had been made the recipient of public favor while I assessed the simple drunk and trimmings with a glad smile the casual observer little knew that in my breaid there lingered a great yearning grief for the days that were gone when I lived simply on 11 a month and decked not for the future you will find it that way too now you feel pretty tickled because you are elected to a high office but wait till its cares settle down upon you wait till you are holding a big res caption some time and all the great men and pretty women are present and all eyes are upon you and your oaf suspender button adjourns and rolls along the floor then you will wish you were back in some bosky dell of yoila childhoods days apart from the jostling throng where you could pull off your coat and vest and jab a oak plug through your waistband and hitch your suspender on it and be at ret ah there is something about this praise and adulation of aaen that dont seem to fill the aching void what we need in this country i less adulation and more anjer clothes and pie NOW any timo you get tuck on your policy or want any good preg nant thoughts to work in on your message I just wish you would feel perfectly free to call on me and ill give my ideas just as cheerfully as though you had political claims on me you will no doubt want a lew suggestions on the mormon question during year administration I will cheerfully fill you up with brain food of this character free of feel perfectly arse at any lime to write me on ahr subject and write naturally ami use your own lans guage swear a little if it alieve rl you use a beail pencil and apell mat as you would if you were not writing to a gret map spell cabbage with a k L youre in a hurry youre liable too to have trouble with abi canal business bu confide in me about it pour out your to me and I wont giro you away you think you know all about w nau but you dont you dont know the very A B bui ineas you need a calm clear intellect that yu can turn on in a moment vu feea a wie mature judgment that you can ahn your own ia dry That she kind you will have command of by ike er that the kind of rich juicy wart of intellect h is the proprietor of then thero ia the indian que tion that will bo up or tion win thi u eoon a i ripe then probably need a tall able bodi eil bald headed mental gi ant to can on begin to look around among your cabinet for the proper man but hell be buy draws ing ll 11 calary that never annoy me im always at loi iuro be open and frank with me and will be the tame ath yon if don t huumo ill tell you ana you get mad it just point out where youe cited it and then know how to do hereafter sincerely youn BILI P if you wan I a good siim to tend ai minister iha cannibal Cane ibal landi ono in my mind ue in good and bas an account against me for ua B N THE je meic just received has an article to prove that shakespeare wrote baa ona dext ire will ice our learned comp that broto WebBle rB unabridged iio will however never attempt lo 10 prove that U S grant wrote that there article on the nicaragua canal joiada member of th minnesota Min neiota curiosity lie enlisted in the second minnesota Minne regiment of volunteers ahn onla 14 yar old he was hot sever limes loang tin left arm and bosl of bis right hand and I one of the seventeen in the united state who hold A gold medal for bravery and was discharged as a captain at the age of 18 years ahen 22 year age he was elected to alie missouri legislature and served fire year in the house and senate of that state besides oce tria as sergeant al anna of the missouri house lie was postmaster at burgr ho town named after him and now at the age of 32 is sent after ft ripe ex per lence to the minnesota house no man in the living world has such an experience he was horn in austria Aut tria and draws a pension of year kinds have always had an unrelenting foe in the N Y sun railroad pools telegraph consolidations banking alliances and any other kind of combination of a few to oppose and rob the many have unsparingly been shown up in the columns of the great new york daily from a late issue we take the following two stanzas part of a satirical poem spreading brer the country highways otar the common roada and byway mighty their threads are spinning manifold or winning rile to add to the the heaped up wealth of the biuona corporations dally tha stocks me flooded with dally ahe lambs re led to the or lower though be quoted salu the spiders grow big and bloated drawing from all of n plentiful lon such as ansy feed and fatten the nations co POST of the N Y sun has the following neat little satire ROBERT aboa ben bobart may his tribe grow few awoke one night and made the ether hi no with deep of bl fate hi never to norto the state when lo 10 an angel in the cold and calmly writing in a took of gold of the in the air ben hobort had tha cluroe of and to tb in the room he said what thou tha ralpd its head and with a look and blaag answered the of patriots la the land and Is mine one said abou nay not BO replied the alwia more low ant craftily and ald play v rite me then apon the allt of the ohio inen hl angel w etc nd the licit acamo and showed hi chi rafters flight rhe names of those whose were tho lieBl and lo 10 bob led all mil A batal CASE of po isonio aiom wearing colored from port deiv N Y the victim was girl and ahe stock ings were brown and gold being warm ho perspired an fn ily boon afterward ym toms of poisoning llie doctor was called lie sai ness wa undoubtedly caused by poison absorbed from the coloring matter in the stockings the suffered intense pain and at times her screams could be beard some distance from the house she died on sunday afternoon after au illness of hirty B me days tax message to australia respecting the match was an extraordinary achiel men tin telegraphy in fact it has never been excelled the dolfl extent of lines mile was traveled in one hour twenty minutes the greater portion of this time was occupied in transmitting the message through india from singapore to sydney miles the message occupied only thirty fire seconds in transmission this message was repeated fourteen times from station to station between london and sidney |