| Show politically PERPLEXED CURIOUS OF TUB the following nn article p pears in the last number of that great paper fuel TO THE EDITOR or THE SIR I am puzzled perplexed confused enigmatically stuck o to speak I desire to bet on the presidential election on the winning aide of course I know it is very to bet but I ease my conscience gritu the not wholly original reflection that the man ajio wager is no better and besides I have noticed that it is not the man extreme goodness the man who all the divine commandments who is tho most prosperous in this fau and fasting world nor the moct respected either jut took at beach or perhaps you had better not look at him but look at lie undersigner undersigned under signed I have always dono to others aa I would have others do to me and have in consequence never accumulated enough wealth to go into bankruptcy and clear V afre n if I had made it a practice to others as I have been dono iy ay them I might have been gorili nii lions paid foran oil and at the same time been loo ta pay personal taxes th man who wins four hundred or a thousand dollars on the irani bial election cant be tant the country id going to tho advil no matter who may ka after the nominations M chicago Chic igo and cincinnati I cast my aya over the political horizon and survey of the situation the farat thing I saw was portrait of general gareald with this legend under it our next president I ans in luck now thia was perplexing it was also ridiculous never in the history of our country have men hwn chafer for president at one election and such a new departure bcd not brooked beoo ked for this all one of those portraits lied that was evident I looked around for another encouraging cou raging straw and soon found one when an ingenious newspaper editor announced that thero were seven loiters in II a n oo o k and eight in garf G a r f i e d and that thia was to be another campaign inai heined seined it was the laan to bet on and I determined to bet accordingly that he was to be our president was as plain as the noonday sun in a cloudless sky but in a day or two I read in another newspaper that As between inn field and gar held it is easy to sea which field is bound to win it was indeed nothing could bo more convincing hancocks Uan cocks parents evidently saw when they named him that he was destined to run for the duio io j not yet bet on the republican candidate and therefore resolved to stake my cash on the superb I pave myself no further anxiety about the matter until the following met my eye in a republican journal when a man runs for president and his name is james he is sure to win there are james madison jamos monroe james K polk james buchanan and now jamea A barfield Oar field this remarkable coincidence removed all doubts and it ecard to me that it would be an expensive piece of folly to hold an election when the thing was already fettled I resolved to bet two to one on garfield but I in a paper of dom proclivities the very next dayi readi winfield dcarr clr LUTES this simple of words told me that it would be money thrown away to bet on Oar neld the fa es had decreed that should be our next and more I reso ltd to bet on him and it appeared like betting on a certainty too until some republican fiend made that happy read INFIELD acutt W WT this was very suggestive I had not looked at it in that light and again I shifted my bet garbold Garu old after all was sure to be the lucky man I reasoned thus until my attention was wiled to the fact that there are twenty letters in windield Wi nield scott Uan cock and ll ancock will be the twentieth president it was now apparent that I had made a serious blunder in going from ll ancock to cardd sol resolved to bet on the former and was looking up gome fellow who was willing to risk bis on the chicago nominee nhen I WAS startled to learn that the name abraham garfield id cheater absalom arthur each contained twenty letters and the next president would be the twentieth was pro veiling or lexin to ft man who wanted to bet on tho winning side hero waa two to one in favor of tha but bebon I could find aman to bt against garfield I from the bemo crapio prea that UTano ook and tamo nun ber of fellers a which pointed conclusively to a victory for he hero of gettysburg I concluded to retsuo my bet and t algo at that but when was p curion fact that the Q in garfield alphabetically I accepted it as asuro dign that crould bo at least gardelis Garde lil in the pre aden bial race I again deter roan then I in n kraii to a of bet in nuro order froia up to 20 apell out the nama tf W and number iho leteve le tevi in their regular order ito have this inAr yn field scott jiw abraham total equals the electoral vote this was ft clincher t I was willing to wager two to one on hancock but were thia tino by eing alie be that no WM ever elected president froni gov ernora Is landl now began o fauth in political and cariou I fedr they are not reliable if the organ ro to ba our next arpi lent wil bo fleU II ancock and general hata and abi u two touch tit least one too I ave a little and hud thai lio r full coincidence anu combinations we ara told that by the first letter aiom the name of james A marceld Oar Celd wo have abw A garfield which ia very significant perhaps it is but by away the first and second name of the democratic nominee and removing the first syllable of his last name and putting a tail on what is left wo have cocktail which is quite as significant and easier to swallow again blot out the scitt and II ancock eliann ate the last two letters in wincell Win Celd punch out the i after f and then obliterate the f itself and we have wine which paul said waa a good cholera medicine if in mild doses these cincu lar throw considerable spirit into the campaign once more talce away the abra ham and garfield from the name of the republican candidate omit the e in james and add the nickname of bis front appellation app elation and we enough leave jim jm which follow cocktails and wine I never knew a il ao a president of the united states married a woman gen uan socks wife is a woman cock will be our president but a coal raire andrew Jack BOna first name with alie first leler of the alphabet james abraham middle name begins with alio llio arit letter of the alphabet nd bosh heir grand fathera wore stockings the inference ia plain perplexedly youre IV |
