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Show THiEVtS emhwwt STUPID. ARE Irlva luvaatlaa Has Oat tha Crafty Kind. "The people who nowadays give the detective moet trouble tire the member of that tam horde of ibtevt. THERE'S NO in-tt- both while and black, that utet every great "city. said one f the most e lident detect he of the Washington "The days of mum mot h department burglaries, dill mend roUls-- i te and br ! liaut tliir Inc perhaps ueter v DELAY. ha'e'pa-s- e 1, of to rcriiMi. hut ' '.ml l the really shicttd, i.ih tilui-tthief of h.tlf n fvnimy ago tve haw a mob of petty pilferers, who are far from possessing p.nt of (be liiains and wit of the tldl-tthief, hut manage, net ertheless, to gtte the police a vast amount of trouble The progress of Invention has put the shrewd thief aud burglar out of bURines. Say, for example, a lu.m The steals several thousand dollar moment be does so be realizes that in order to retain his ill gotten gains c must leave the sum- - of the crime, realizing that lie K nowise prcpaml to cope with modern detective mid imliee methods Iroii.ndv before the city telegrams and telephoi e messages have pre. edeij him to the cities of the Iliited States and Caimd.i. and he la njbbed the moment he reaches his destination. But supposing all these traps and that he reaches some foreign country. Why, he Is simply In as bad a plight there a he wa before leaving home. Nowadays there la hardly a government or country with which the United States baa not entered lino an understanding whereby criminals are caught and returned, and what few and states 'with which our Government has failed to draw up any auch arrangement can be very easily managed In case Uncle Sam wants to get any of hi missing children back. "The result Is that really bright or shrewd person would think of undertaking a Job of burglary or stealing In this age. None but the desperately poor, the degenerate, .morphine users, the submerged tenth, so to speak, nowadays, practice stealirg, They are too stupid to realise the danger of such a course, and plunge headlong Into a career that must sooner or later land them behind the bars. They spend their nights hanging about aristocratic quarters, llktf that surrounding Dupont Circle, and If a door should happen to be open or a window up something will ba missing from the place next morning. They dispose of their stolen plunder la a' somewhat ludicrous. Jack-daanimal sort of way, hiding tt as a dog would a bone, and thus giving the detective am) police a deal of trouble hunting it up, not because they are shrewd in the matter, but owing simply to the stupid, bungling manner In which they dispose of stuff ta ways that a sensible person would never think of." Washington Post We Always load your teams promptly. Load them with COAL of course, for that's our stock in trade. y one-tent- far-dista- TUB Declaration 01 ndependencB hv all read the Declaration of Independence I auppo.e. It la printYou ed on fine trpe in the back of tba Child's History, and at tha top of the amev signed -- - at tba end to how bow they wrote them la John Hancock' big and bold, tba way a peraon would writ if ba were doing it with a burnt atch. Papa need to gather na to getter in the parlor after breakfast very fourth of July and read us part f It and explain tba long words, to that wa would understand what tha fourth of July wae really for that It wasn't Just to burn holes In your clothes, and frighten horses, and leave - stnha of Are cracker on the sidewalk that don't get awept oif for days. When wa children cam to have our own revolution against tha governess that time mamma and papa went away to ba gona two day, wa knew Just how to go about It; and wa wrote a Declare tlon of Independence, copying It after the real true one, and then wa all .signed our name at tha bottom with big flourishes, the way John Hancock and tha others did. We thought with all our preparation occeas was aura. Just as the patriot f 74 were successful aa the reward AT their daring, but alaa! Our governess' name waa Georgian Georgian Saunders which made it the more appropriate, because tba name of the King about whom the original Declaration waa written waa George, aa you probably know. .When, we got thq Declaration done. It Was something like this some of the Igjuaga we took from the book and d toada up oBrselvea; ; When In the course of human events It becomta necessary for Something to be done about it, and we catft stand it any longer. The history of our present governess is a Wstbry of repeated Injuries airi usurpations. To prove this et' facta he submitted to a candid rid. 1. She make ns brush our teeth twice a day, which la unnecessary aa wetl as wasteful ' 1 She wont let ut lay book face downwards, and so you lose the place and are a loag time finding It when you come back. ' 3. She objects if you make a fork In your mashed potatoes. 4. She won't let ns breathe on the .window and write with our fingers days when it rains. 5. W cant have butter and sugar tt our rice, only milk and sugar, t. She notices, and make us go back to loek where we've made finger Starks oa tha white paint. ?. Wa have to make our own beds, and then, If there ta a wrinkle, or it Isnt done right, wa har to do it nil war again. ' . She'a Juat awful, every way you aa think of. We, therefore, do solemnly publish and declare that we are and by right aught to be free and independent,' and that aur mother and aur father went .away this morning and will not be II , ' -- "U ' back until evening, and that ah ta not our mother and our father, never ha been and never will ha, and that wa mean to do aa w please, and that w have full right to levy war and alao to do all other acta and things. And to this w pledge our Uvea, aur fortunes and our sacred honor. (Signed) Arthur L. Balnbrldge (thats me), Marjorie Balnbrldge, fleeter B. Balnbrldge, Charles W. Balnbrldge, . Gregory Balnbrldge, his x mark. And wa brought la Rex he's n mixture of an English mastiff and a Siberian bloodhound and wa Inked his paw, and made him step on tha paper Just below Gregorys name. And then wa drew a circle around It and wrote Rex, his mark." Then Maida, the tol-1- 1 dog, had to com in, too. and pretty soon there waa a mark about tha ah of a hot house violet, just below where Rax had printed a big black carnation-shapething with hi lordly paw. Spotty, the cat. waa the best of all; she upset the Ink bottle on the nursery carpet, and got all her four paws In the ink, and then ran right across the paper, so her name waa in several places. Charley (who wrote it) waa sort of mad at first said it spoiled the looks of the paper, and It would have to b written all over, nt we told him it showed how Interested and enthusiastic Spotty was, Then Marjorie got tier sealing wax, and took a ptece'of red silk ribbon and made a kind of how out of it with long streaming ends; and we put a seal down in the lower left hand corner. And when It waa all finished It was a work of art, Tbp ihe question waa. What should w do with It? Let's put it al her plate at breakfast," suggested Hester. ' 'Better send "It through the man; said Marjorie. She won't dare to aay anything to the postman. Mn tt on her door," said Charley. No, I said, tht wont do The origins! Declaration was read wit teqd I know, 'cause 1 asked papa. They read It out loud, and then they rang a hi bel till It cracked. Welt, who going to he the one ta read itfr asked Charjle. We'll draw lota." 1 satd. And we did with' little piece of string; and the lot fell to me. It al wavrhappen thatrway ih onrwh plans a thing not only ha to do ail the thinking, hut he has to go end carry out his own Plea while the other people stand and look on, or.tnaybe even j make fun of him. You'll all have to go with we. anyway." I said. T41 read It outside her door at 7 o'clock morning, and when I get through you must all .raise a mighty shout, like the people did outside the palace of the King at the time of the French Revolution, and yon must yell. 'Down with tha tyrant-eas- ! Off with her head! aud thing like that, and Gregory Is to have the servants dinner bell and ring like roadLand thfn ail the rest ofjhe day we're going to do Jest a we please, and if she calls we won't come, no matter how loud abe hollers.'' The rest ail thought It waa a bully idea, hut Charley said: Hadn't we belter do It after break-fast- ? to Because lta griddle-cak- e d morrow morning, and w mlghtnl get My." So w decided to , . start In being after breakfast Instead ( before. After breakfast, white vare supposed to b upstairs making out beds, Miss Saunders Bits in tha lilrary for about half an hour, reading yth morning papers, and that weald he good chance to rad the declaration to her. A11 through brwkfasf the next morning w were awfully glum and nervous. Before yVe got to the griddle cake I forgot and left my spoon In my 'chocotefe, and my arm went against V quite accidentally, and the whole cap got spilled on Hester, just aa she Ana stooping to pick up n piece of togt, and Went all over tha hack of t)rt gulmpe of her dress. And Miss Saunders swallowed whatever aha put in her mouth in a great hurry, and took off her eyeglasses and pushed her chair back from the table a llttld and Just looked at us. And then she held, In that awfully quiet voice that is twice as mad as when a peraon leti out a yell: "Arthur, how often have I. told you never to leave your spoon in yoar cup? This la the second time within a Weak that this has occurred; you may go up in your room and remain then antll I come." I didn't know what to do, because if I went upstairs then it would knock our plan of reading tha Declaration in the head. And while I. waa rolling up my napkin aa slowly as I coold, trying to think what I should do, her vole broke in: t Come. Arthur. I am waiting V Then I put my napkin, down and stood up In my chair. Her eyes nearly bulged out of her head at that, because of ail the forbidden things in tha .house, mending on , any of ;the chairs bat the ones In the kitchea nd tha playroom is about tha forbiddsnest. "Why, you you bad Httlehoyryjut" she gasped. Arthur, I don't unday stand. But I Just pulled the Declaration of Independence out nf. my pocket and began to read. I road all the things that kbe would not let us do, and was Just getting to the place where tt said we raeaat to do as we pleased till mamma and papa came home. I hsds't been looking! gt her, tenwuse it waa as m uch as 1 could do to jnakd put Charles' writing. And, besides, mm of the things, when you came to read them out loud to the person they tre Intended far, sounded pretty dreatfhl particularly where It said, ata Juat awful every way yon can think of. my cheeks felt kind of hot whsn I got to those places, and I let my vtiee down and hurried over them as fast s I could. She bus! have come behiad while 1 was trying to make out ease of ihe hard words, which I dont think and the others all agreed with me afterwards oea quite a fair advantage to take. And she used to be on team when she was in the basket-bal- l college, and she was awfully strong. It la no disgr ace to be overpowered by such a strong person, and carried and locked In your room md then to be told through the keyhtle that you are to stay there until you ire eorry. I suppose that te the way George the Third would have treated John Hancock It he could . '. - ; Wasatch Mine . . . constantly the best COAL and as for prices, note the You will find LUMP STOVE 02-2- 0 1.00 Pztrczto i Bose Is&stry. WEBER COAL CO Do You Want Some? Yau an tm DRY GOODS AND i GROCERIES O ta tha CASH BARGAIN STORE A 1 A Model TolopboM Box. A young couple In Brooklyn have re cently Invested in a fine old house on the Heights and have remodeled It to suit their own taste. Both of them have taste of a good quality and tha money to make it elective, so the house is a model of attractiveness. One thing which Is particularly interesting te the use to which they have put an e niche which wa in the curve of the staircase. Th's was built ta houses, apparently, for statuary, but fine old statuary or any other kind Is a rare heirloom country, so one must conclude that the eyesore on the stairway bad no utility. This one has been screened off from view by an In curving door of stained glass ta dellci onsly soft tints and of a design obvious executed for that sole purpose. Inside is an electric light which sheds its modified rays on the stairs, and this cupboard makes a place for The telephone. As this la hear the top of, the stair and the living room adjacent, e nothing could be mc-- convenient New York Times. old-tim- ' COALVILLE. UTAH Student. portly The discipline committee of the Missouri University faculty Is securing evidence against students of the engineering - deportment, -- charged with putting an iron elephant on the pinnacle above the dome of the academic building. The feat accomplished by Ac the students was extraordinary. cess to the interior of the pinnacle had been barred by three massive Iron doors, fastened with padlocks, the keys 'to which the proctor carried In bis pocket. Under cover of darkness the students carried a galvanized Iron elephant, weighing perhaps over a thousand pounds, to the dome above the building, and after forcing the iron doors, dragged their burden upward to the highest point of the pinnacle, 200 feet above ground. The next morning the elephant could le seen for a distance of five miles, and farmers came to town to inquire about It, In removing the elephant a gang of workmen destroyed a section of tb slate roof, and ten students must pay the damages or be expelled New York Commercial Advertiser. Good Job Work..... Is wh&t people wa.nL and at G6 Times office Is fust tHe place where you can get it at prices that will suit everone. ...All Work Promptly Executed GRASS CREEK COAL - AT GRASS CREEK MINES a ,v A New Ml ger? d "New York Time. to & & mutm T7c3 Screened Domestic; Lump and Start XMbmv. I have a little niece." said the raconteur of the Sewing Circle, who U never ao happy a when she ia allowed to visit the kitchen and watch the servants at work. Fortunately, her mother servant who rather has enjoy having the child around, so many are the charmed hours which Jesai spends downstairs making little pies under the, cook's superintendence, and pretending the is grown up. ?The other day she descended ta the laundry to oversee tba family wash In her busy little way. -- She gave one look of utter astonishment as Mary pat on the clothes to boll, and then fairly flew upstairs to her mother, exclaiming: Oh, mamma! What dff you think! Marys cooking the clothes for dingood-nature- We have the very best Coal there on the market for domestic or steam purposes. $1.75 1 fixed ecu ton. 255RS& There to we hive no shoveling or writing. t SPECIAL CHUTE TEAMS - . FOR LOADING . GRASS CREEK COAL CO. |