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Show I The Humor of Life 1 Land of the Free. Shiny ratch.s I any, IMiil. what Is all this talk about the need ot free art In the I'nlted rltntes? tagged rhllimopher That's all right, Bhltir, and II Is one uf (he things that we want to push along. The harder we push tho eooncr our turn will come. You see, thla la the laud of (ho free, and the Idea la lo be made practical In alphabetical order. or-der. They are going to atart In with art, and, as scam aa that Is out of the way (hey will take tip "li;" which meana beer. Tbere'a where our Inter-eat Inter-eat cornea In. Another Stop Forward. "The manager of our bureau haa thought out a splendid scheme for the children's supplement." "Khl What la It?" '"He haa had nne of the artlata draw a full page picture of Mont I'eleo In action, and then, right at Ihe summit ne naa ruimcd a lot or explosive i chemicals. When a match la' touched I to the atuff the eruption oreura. The I child under five yeara whose photiv 1 graph ahowa Ihe smallest amount ot 1 hair and eyeorowa ain-r in npn gels the first prlr.e. Great Idea, Isn't lit" I Hla Conclusion. "I understand that you have made a life study of volcanoes," said the Interviewer. "I have." answered (he scientist. "What do you regard aa the moat Important conclusion lo lie deduced from your researches?" "Blmply thla. If you live near a rrater that atarta to amoko take steamship passage for somewhere else." Knew What Chaos Meant. II octurer (on French Itevoliitlnn) "It la Impoaallile to Imagine the chaos that reigned confusion and anarchy everywhere. In our more peaceful conditions wo cannot oven Inintilmi such a statu of IIiIiiks." Man at tho hack of tho hnll "Yes, we can, mister. Comu up to our house; we'ru moving." The Easy Mark. Markley You're a nice friend to have: Wry didn't you lend llorroughs the r he wanted? Kraft Why should IT Markley To aava me. You muat have renmed Hint lie kuuw if he didn't get It from you he would from me. i You've practically robbed rue of dial I I 'fiver." How He Won Har. ! Ardent Bultor "I lay my fortuno at your feel." Kalr Lady "Fortune! I did not know you had money." Ardent HullorI haven't much; but It takea very little to cover those tiny foet." He got her. New York Weekly. Hla Own Interpretation. "Do you ever expect to see Hamlet properly played?" naked the friend. "No," answered Mr. Hliirmlugton llarnes, gently: "not unless there Is omethlng In this aatral body theory which would enable one lo be In two li I aces at the samo time." Too Terrible. "What la your choice of weapons?" aakca Ihe duelist. "Automobiles!" replied our hero In ringing tones. but tha challenger, preferlng an eaay death, went Into the back yard and ahul himself. Infsnt Prodigy. Visitor (lo llltle Freddy) Ixifa see ' what you have learned In your achool. Now, can you tell me the difference between B and C? Freddy Thath'a cathy. A bee lib a Inthoct, an' a tbea It li full of water. Health Item. Imp "Down with the grip." A Youthful Financier. Dobba "Johnny, If 1 give you a dime, can I trust you to convey this note safely to your slater without anyone any-one seeing It?" Johnny "Yea er hut it would be much aafer for a quarter." Generally. Tommy "Pa, what does the paper mean when It aaya 'comment Is unnecessary'?" un-necessary'?" Mr, Flgg "It means that tho writer doesn't know what (o say." A OKt. "My young friend." snld Henalor ' Sorghum, "you hnve an exceptional talent for speeehnmklng." "Yes." nmiplacently replied (he , ' atateanian who gets a great deal of applause from the galleries. "I fcol Jiialllleil In saying that oratory Is a Kl" . "Thai's what It Is. There are .' mighty few people who ran get paid for It nowadays." One of Those Pst Phraaea.' ' "Hid any nf Ihe Inhahltanta eacape with his life?" Inquired the man who ,, wants Ihe harrowing details. "I didn't atop to ascertain an-awnred an-awnred the man who la harrowlngly exact. . "It struck me that If anybody escaped without his life there wasn't much uae In hla earaplng, anyhow." Hla Wages. 'A,.J 7 Mr I'al How much wagea do yex git, HI tiny?" Iilnny "Dlvll a lint, but mo wife glis 2 a day." The Reporter Scores. Benator Treacle Did you tell 'that reporter I had nothing lo aay? Hervant Yes. sir. Henator Treacle I suppose ho waa very much dlHnppnintcd. Horvant I hardly know, sir. II said he waa aware t the fact that you novjr auid anything but waa under un-der the Impression that you' novor ( , , missed au opportunity to talk. 1 rteeogri'tion at Last. ' "You are tho moat hateful, ilMlatils. f ahoinlnahfe villain f have ever motf I vxctaimed the Indignant woman. ' "You fill me with gratltudo, mad i am," replied the gloomy traveler, p whoae disagreeable mannera had of- Ie fended her. "I have been a atnge vll- . lain for twenty years and yours la tha llrat kind word I have ever bad." ' j be- Plno-Pong'a Deadly Work. . ,. "What was ihul awful row at the club laat night?" , "Dreadful, wasn't It? They were die- , puling aa to whether vellum ping pong . j ruckete wero hotter than wimxIcii none, ' and eomn of them kept right on light ' Ing In the ambulance on tbelr way lo the hospital." to,4 Abundantly Occupied. r "What doea (he society which yoo ( have Just Joined find to do?" asked Mrs. Hlo.lo's husband. Ida't "A great deal," was the answer. "After we get our organisation oslsb- ( n(j llshed the question nf other peoplo'i I eligibility to membership gives ua all i Ihe work we ran pnaallily attend ta" A Conditional Diagnosis. "What la Ihe mailer with me, doo , lor?" "I fear you have a severe case ot v cephalalgy." waa tho reply. - "(Ireut guns, doctor, 1 can't afford ' It!" "Oh! that'a different. It'a headache samo thing. You'll be all right." I An Untutored Impression. "I understand," said tha savage islander, "that tho Inst of the C'arlln have about disappeared, owing to numerous exploalmia In their vicinity." vicin-ity." "Yea," answered the other. "In other words, the Carlba may now b ; regarded aa civilized." 4 Easily Overlooked. . "What do you think of his nervo?" i exclaimed Ihe young man who waa no. i torlously tricky In business; "ho call- to, ed me a barefaced robber." f "O, well," replied the man wha ' . know him. "probably In hla excite- ? ment he didn't notice your muatache." -Stray Btorl-a. j 0(, Error In Bookkeeping. ' "Yea." aald the head of Ihe firm, "Mine Addle la a good bookkeeper, bill e-w-ah makea queer mistakes.' "What, for instance?" aaked tha be Am silent partner. "Well, ahe enters our messenger finselt boy's wage under Ibe head ot "run- niug expenses.' " o-tnori Great Spring Season. "This has been a delightful aprlng." aald the visiting stranger to the 1UU. "lien vllle resident. You bet It has." was Ihe enthuslaa- 1 lie reply. "Hllly's kill forty-two rat. ,r' tliiHiiakes, an' sold 111 rattle for fifty readm cents apiece!" Atlanta Constitution. More Necessary. Lady (in reglHtry utllccl Have you ever minded children before? Nurse No. mum, hut I've mad many a child mind me. |