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Show PE R I S C O P I My, THE WORLDf with Our Office Boy. V UNCLE MOE ON GAMBLING. "Gamblin'," Sez Uncle Moe. " 'Sa pleasin way T' see money go. An' y' kin bet "Til Jedgment day An' ye'll still be secln' It roll away. It s one o' th' thine " Jest calnt beat. An' there never was A hoss so fleet As f make th' coin Roll yer way T'morrer, as It did to'dny. J So if t'day. V won a bit. Call it enough An' try t' quit. An here's a little Tip fr'm me Ef y' want ter be rich LET GAMBLIN" BE!" No wrestler is too proud to stoop to j conquer. Well) Thanksgiving is always a prof jitable day for the vest button raanu- facturers. I European promoters are after American Amer-ican pucilists to fight abroad. We: ih.lri't know there were any women I fighters in Europe. If Emma Goldman should accomplish accom-plish all her ends and overthrow all 'the stable governments of the world, what would there be left for her in, life? When a man votes dry, he votes against the most beautiful flower in! the world blue-green buttercups. We know some women who ought to wear service stripes showing they 'are veterans of the field of wedlock. Most opinions are valuable only so long as they remain opinions. Laughing is a good tonic for anything, any-thing, but especially spring and hay fevers. It has ever caused us to wonder at! the comparatively few men who are married to their wives A cook is just as good as the food she spoils. Eating too much will mnke the finest chest in the world slip down Law Is a little- word but It entails a lot of noiso. Instead of hanging the former kal ser, whj not let King George decorate him with an Iron Cross. We don't know whether Governor Coolldge's record or his backbone would take better with the voters in a presidential election, but he's got 'em both. Work or no work, senators and rep-resentatives rep-resentatives draw their ample salaries, i w hich may account for their indisposition indisposi-tion to worry about the high cost of I I i ing Let it be said in favor of the T W. W that they are not connected with the R. W. W. (Reform Workers of the World ) Add easier said than done Making Peace. With Americans gassing each other dvi r the treat the Germans have a right to conclude that they won the war and are heaping unbearable erms upon the allies. General Wood would have :ou-;ht but that's a rotten piece of wood for a presidential platform, Why not make the reservations in the treaty JubI to see if England, France and Italy won't accept? Trying to find the bodies of those soldiers who were either killed or froz en to death in Siberia is like looking for anything in cold storage. But even though there is a lot of talk about quitting the league of na-i na-i lions, w e had never heard that we had I Joined. Statistics that versatile weapon of the professional "alibier", Is going to make us believe that we are responsible responsi-ble for the high cost of living, if we don't watch our step. Every state has an institution where government control should be kept. Two bandits recently held up a .ram bliny joint in Denver Let's see. what is that old saving about dog eat dog? We hope that the authorities won't get so interested in the chase of Bill Carlisle that they oerlook the capture cap-ture of the master criminals, the profiteers. profi-teers. Bill can't qualify as one of them, we are told., because he left one of his victims three cents SOME DISCOVERY! "How is it that Arthur never takes vou to the theatre nowadavs?" queried Marie. "Well, you see," her friend replied, "one evening it rained and we sat in the parlor." "Yes?" "Well, ever since then we oh, I don't know; but don't you think that the&treS are an awful bore?" Tit Bits. A STAND-IN! "You seem fond of the druggists, little lit-tle boy." "Yes, he kin get all the pills he wants fer our air guns." Loui.-aille Courier-Journal WHICH REMINDS US THAT No school teacher should starve now they can mine coal. |