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Show Dorothy Dix Talksl MOTHER AS A PRESS AGENT. I FZJI Paid Woman Write, I Of roursp It's perfectly propcf, and highly desirable, for every swan to think Its own tin- whitest, and for every mother to be convinced that parh of her children is an infant phenomenon who is destined to make the world sit up and gasp with awe and wonder. Heaven knows that but for this beneficent provision of nature no child would ever be raised. Except l! (or seeing beauties in the round, featureless, fea-tureless, cream -cheese-like countenance counten-ance of her bab.v that no other mortal I eye can sec. no woman would have thej patience to go on washing its drool-j inp little mouth, and keeping it clean and healthy. Except for hearing Car- uso-Uke tones in the howl of her in -1 f:int. no woman would have the forti I lude to walk the colic through the I cold, rtilly hours of the night. It's the obsession ol mother vanity' that makes a woman see her children not as they are, but glorified, that I keeps the world spinning round, and preserves the human race Otherwise .infanticide would be our favorite indoor in-door sport, lor do we not continually I reflect that if we had to stand those I awful mischievous, ugly, stupid Jones I I children, we should certainly kill J I them? I And do we not wonder how it is pos j I sible that all other children are so in-I in-I ferior to cur own beautiful and gifted i Darlings: I Do we not dread, even as we would an attack of the plague the coming of a guest to visit us who brines her little olive branches along with her, while wo take our own children lo spend week ends with our friends on whom we wish to bestow an especial treat ? Yea. verily, such is the way of mothers which had evidently never been investigated by the gentleman vho spoke of the way of a seprent on a rock, and the way of a man with a maid as being mystery that no man I could solve. For the way of a mother i with her child is the mystery of all mysteries, past all guessing. Now it Is all right for mother to be her children's press agent. Goodness knows most of us need somebody to blow our trumpets for us, but the trouble with mother is that she generally gen-erally bungles the job so badly. Her work is raw. She overdoes it. She lacks finesse, and especially she lacks restraint, and so often in trying to turn a searchlight on the virtues of her offspring she only succeeds in calling attention to their defects. We all know, for instance, some nice, plain, sensible girl, without a vestige of beauty, or talent, or sparkle. There is absolutely nothing about her to attract attention in any( way, but left to her own devices she' would be admired, as one of the solid, sensible, unpretentious women that everybody likes to have about, just because they arc so comfortable to get along with, j and call for no hysterica of admira- i tion, and rouse no envy. Rut mother ruins all' of this by her indiscreet press agentrv. She descants des-cants ceaselessly about the girl's wonderful won-derful hair and beautiful eves and magnificent figure. Thereby drawing the attention of the listener to the fact , that the unfortunate maiden la no understudy of Lillian Kussell in pulchritude. pul-chritude. Mothers also repeats fulsome compliments com-pliments that she avows perfect Btrangers have pnj,i to daughter, and! tells of rows and rows of nameless, suitors who are dying to marry daughter, daugh-ter, but to whom daughter cruelly says "no." Women are accused of having no! sense of humor. Certainly they have! no sense of humor where their chil-dren chil-dren are concerned, and such mothers never perceive that in attributing! 'harms to their daughters which the girls have not. and never claim they bae, that they are making their daimlit.Ts ridiculous. ;.nd a laughing stock among their friends, Many girls' worst enemy is her own mother. Im kills whatever chance of success she j might have by booming her stock tool heavily. And mother makes .precisely the same mistake in conducting her press j agent campaign for son. If statistics uuuiu oe garnered on such subjects, it would be Interesting to know how-many how-many young men enter real life handicapped han-dicapped by a prejudice against them that has been fomented by their mother's incessant exploitations of their talents and virtues. The community has heard mother monologue about what a marvel son is. what a magnificent intellect son has. what an eloquent speaker son is. what brilliant talent son has displayed at this and that, what an athlete son is. how the college depended on son to preserve Its traditions, and the football team to can it to victory, until by the time son gets through school and is ready to go into business busi-ness or a profession, the 'whole community com-munity is so fed up on son that it nauseates it even to hear his name. No mere human being wants to have any dealings with such a paragon, and especially with a paragon that on close inspection seems to have none of the ear -marks of a world beater, but is just a plain, ordinary, even -day young man, who is no more like his mother's portrait of him than a Boubrette's hunk of glass are like the first water diamonds that she advertises she has lost. The reason that many a man has to leave his own home town to get a start in his career is because he has to get away from his mother's press agentry and go to live among people who will take hiin for what he is, in; ftead of expecting him to be what his mother said he was. Of course there is something very tender and beautiful in this mother adoration that causes a woman to behold be-hold her children always surrounded by a radiant halo, and that makes her want to force the world to Bee them through the same golden mist. For a woman's children represent to her not only her own flesh and blood. The are her incarnate dreams and ambitions ambi-tions All that she has hoped for j and wished for in life she expects to see fulfilled in them, and it is God's j mercy to her that her eyes are so j blinded that she generally never sees the truth, but dies in the firm belief that her prayers have all been an-j an-j swered, and that her children were ' ail that she wanted them to be. But on the whole, it cannot be said ' that mother is very successful as a press agent. As a general thing she does more harm than good by raising false expectations concerning the ap pearances and ability of her children Also she unconsciously engenders a dislike of the youngsters by boring people with an account of their ex-j ex-j ploits. in which no one but she has J the faintest interest. These are facts j that might well be borne in mind by the woman whose one topic of conver-I conver-I sation is my Mamie and my Johnnie. For you see we all want a chance to ! talk about our own children. We all belong to the Amalgamated Mothers' j Press Agent Society. , (Copyright 1918. by The Wheeler Syndicate, Syn-dicate, Inc.) Dorothy Dix's articles appear in this j paper every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. |