Show I L Dc Dorothy rothy Dix s 's Letter Box I ADVICE TO A YOUNG WIFE WHOSE TEMPER AND NERVES ARE BREAKING UP HER MARRIAGE THE HOME GIRL HOSE V FAMILY DOESN'T APPRECIATE HER DOMESTIC WORK WHY HE SHOULD QUIT HIS GOLD DIGGING GOLD FIANCEE S DEAR flEAR MISS DIX DIX I I work all an day In an office orrice and do the housework ot of ota ota I a small apartment at night and my nerves at times Umes are worn to a n frazzle and I just simply cannot help getting cranky and irritable My husband resents these spoIls spells keenly and bitter bitter- bitterly I ly Iy reproaches me mo for tor giving way to them say say- saying 55 ing tug that if f I loved him I Would not do so 80 To which I retort that if U he loved me ho would realize that a girls girl's makeup is different nt and she shei i 55 can hardly be expected to be always tem sweet tem tem- 1 1 pored I tell ten him I am not an exception to the average girl because I know many others who 1 S 4 havo have Just such suh occasions of ot nerves and their 5 i husbands pass them over with a u great deal dealS S more tolerance and patience than mine docs does I S Perhaps my husband is different because he heS S r was without sisters and his mother is a pa pa- paS S tient loving soul Is there any help for me 5 YOUNG WIFE I I 4 A 5 Answer 5 w The great lesson that matrimony teaches to those who wise t S Sy y are arc enough S S to learn Is tolerance of each others other's DOROTHY DIX faults When a young couple are first married they expect an impossible perfection of ot each other The man roan has idealized the girl until he be be- believes her to be little less tha an angel unsullied by any of the weak weak- weaknesses nesses ot of her sex and so it is a horrible shock to him bins when he finds finde that she sho can be cross and irritable and unreasonable The girl has bas set the man on a pedestal where she worships him as n ft sort of ot demigod and she gets the jolt of her life when she sho finds out that he is fussy about his eating and as peevish as a spoiled child if it dinner is late and that he swears a blue streak when his collar button rolls rons under the bureau This Is what makes the first year of marriage which Is a time of adjustment one of bitterness and strife and only too many disillusioned and disgruntled young people when they find that their Ideals not only have feet of olay ay but are mostly made of mud declare that marriage Is a failure and throw up their hands and quit But Dut the ones who have more stamina na and who are better belter sports sit down and take stock of ot the situation They install the two bears bear and forbear as guardians of the home and deliberately set about aboul mini mini- minimizing minimizing mizing their own faults and magnifying the virtues of their husbands or wives This course of action I recommend to you Realize to be begin gin with what an asinine thing it is te to let your husbands husband's love for you be killed and your marriage wrecked by Irritability It doesn't even have the dignity of tragedy Its It's like being stung to death by a mosquito If It you lost your our husband through his being a philanderer or a drunkard or a gambler you would deserve e our pity pit but we wo can only feel it is your our own fault when you lose him through your our peevishness an ant I fretfulness for temper Is a fault that can be controlled It is mere mere- merely merely ly Iy a a. matter of determination You can hold holdt yourself steady or you can Indulge yourself In wild hysterical outburst You can shut your teeth on the bitter angry word or you can flare Into rages and say unforgivable unforgivable unforgivable and unforgettable things In Its essence temper Is noth nothing ing but selfishness and self Its It's doing and saying exactly what you please without regard to the feelings of any anyone anyone anyone one else I have never known a tempered high person who did not get a morbid joy out of making a scene US j You tro like all allther ther tempered high people You think others should overlook your our fault and realize that you dont don't mean all that you ou say when you are arc in a fury fur but that is expecting too much You have to pay the penalty of oC your crime Perhaps your husband should be bo more tolerant of your weakness and antI realize that you have good qualities that offset it but it is hard to admire the virtues of a lady while she is indulging in a tantrum and who goes about with a n chip on her shoulder ready to flare fiare up like a Do bit of ot tinder at the slightest friction And dont don't try to excuse yourself on the th ground that you are area a woman Men have just as many nerves and just as many things to irritate them as women have Temper emper isn't confined to any anyone one sex but It ruins the hap hap- happiness happiness of more homes than any other one thing In the world DOROTHY DIX a S S DEAR flEAR DOROTHY DIX DIX I I am a girl 18 years ears old a high school 1 ate I have had several business situations but have always been forced to give them up on account of ot poor health So I am doing my part by running the homo home as my mother works out and has no time timeto to attend to it I keep the house spotless and when the family comes come home have havo a good dinner on the table I make all of my own clothes and antI my sisters sister's but nevertheless the family reproaches me for not notha no having hasing ha Ing a job I want to play pIa fair What shall I do UNHAPPY Answer Inasmuch as housework agrees with you and office work doesn't why not adopt it as your profession There are thousands of ot girls who are born cooks and who thrill to the sight of ot pots and pans and gas ranges as an artist does to his palette or a musician to his Instrument and these girls are foolish not notto notto notto to follow their natural bent and do the work for which nature intended them Good cooks are always In demand and when they are ex cx- experts perta they can command large salaries Also cooking opens up bigger lines of endeavor In keeping a boarding house or run run- running ning a tearoom or a restaurant or a hotel But Inasmuch as your family Is unappreciative of what you do my advice to o you is to get a Job cooking for some other family The gIrl who stays at home house and cooks and washes and scrubs and mends for her family is nearly always an unpaid slave whose family amil nearly always alwa's think that they are being very ery generous when hen they let lether lether lether her work for her board and give ghe her their old clothes If you are going to cook either make your family make a definite bargain with you for your services or get a Job out out- outside outside side of your home DOROTHY DIX S S S S HEAR flEAR MISS DIX I DIX I am a man of 29 engaged to a girl of o 21 I have had hadI DEAR I gray hair hall since I was a boy and she is ashamed of It It wants me to keep my ID hat bat on all the time on account of it She works but puts everything on her back Never saves a cent Would take my last dol dol- dollar dollar lar it if she sho could get It ft 1 I am dizzy from buying her things She is la always alwa's hungry and wants to be bo on the go to movies mo or dances She Sho is very pretty but not bright She says she loves me use but she is Isery very ery watchful for tor looking good men Should I quit her ALFRED Answer Well I should say so unless you are qualifying for martyr martyr- dom What promise of happiness do you think you could pos pos- possibly possibly sibly have with a wife who was a gold digger who was ex ex- extravagant extravagant and would always keep you In debt who was a gad gad- gadabout gadabout about with no domestic taste The girl has shown you what she Is and what your future life with her would be If you marry her knowing all this you have brought down your mis mis- misery ery cry on your own head DOROTHY DIX Copyright by Public Ledger |