Show I Dorothy Dix s 's Letter Box BoJ I ADVICE TO A YOUNG GIRL WHO STAYS AT HOME EVERY EVE Eve- EVENING EveNING EVENING NING WITH HER DULL MOTHER WHY MEN SHY AWAY J FROM WIDOWS WITH CHILDREN SHOWING THE FOLLY AND DANGER OF A SECRET MARRIAGE M A R R I AGE AGED DEAR D EAR MISS DIX What DIX What on earth Is a family topic of or conversation T TIn In our home we e seem to have nothing to talk about Father lather and andL andI L I both work In of offices flees where there Is very 11 little opportunity to meet people during the he day and all that we havo to talk about when we get home la is the fact that so 60 and so s has not paid his bill blU or I. I p something like that A mere attempt it t conversation Generally father Cather spends his I evenings c a n at his lodge or club chub I do not DOt wish w 10 lO leave mother at home so I stay at homo home e with her An As A a result 1 I am left lert out of the v t i good limes times of ol the young people of or my own 1 4 age Mother does dots not Dot like to read and com corn complains complains 4 plains when I read Mother I never goes any any- anywhere anywhere where because she claims she is too busy but I dont don't see how the work of oC caring for fora 4 a house for Cor three grown people should ab alt- absorb absorb 5 her every minute I am desperate over k- k j the situation What should I 1 do S D DAUGHTER i iAnswer Answer DOROTHY DIX I do not think that It Is your duty to sacrifice all the pleasures plea lUres of ot your girlhood by staying at home trying to entertain your mother If you do yeu will find that you have been left to wither and dry up on the home shelf Ir If you want to keep In ln th the procession you have to march with the crowd It If you drop out nobody is going to stop atop and hunt you up and drag you back Into the ranks again They will just sweep on without you to where the band Is II play play- playIng Ing and the flags flying f c. c I We have ha to make an exertion to keep In as aa we e have to make an exertion to get anything else that we want In life lICe We e have to go often when w don dont don't P wp we t fEel fe-el like It and when we would rather slump stump down by hy our fireside own In an old dressing gown than to make the effort to doll ourselves up and go to f rth and try to enter tain tam people But if you refuse Invitations people soon loon cease to Invite you If it you stick at home heme they let you stay there Evidently that is what your mother has his done She has been blen too lazy and Inert to cultivate those about her hr and make a place for tor herself In society and as a result she is left out of oC everything Just as you jou ou will be If Ir you follow her example and sit at home homo of oC evenings I Instead of going out with the time young people And In addition to the pleasure you lose loee you cut yourself 4 off orf from your opportunities of making a good marriage If you want ta to t catch fish you must go where the good fishing I. I is You will wilt certainly certainty have no chance of meeting eligible men if you remain at home with your mother So you will be wise to go while you are still young and attractive where you will wI at least nave a show of finding some man who would make maks you a good husband I do not eve believe that it is the duty of any girl to sac sac- her whole life lire to her mother Your mother had her chance at life You have a right to yours J Because she chose to let itt herself get narrow Darrow anil I dull with no Interests outside ot of her home and nothing to talk about except what happens In lu it Is no reason for your giving up all the pleasure and happiness and opportunities of youth joath in order lo to spend tiresome eve eve- flings with her But let her example be a warning to you and when you get married and have a home of your own keep Its atmos atmos- atmosphere atmosphere phere bright and cheerful by keeping your Interest alert and alive In everything that goes on in this t ls exciting old world of ours Keep up your social connections Go about with other people Go to plays Touch life at every point And Arid If you do you will have no trouble about finding plenty of things to talk about In the evenings at home DOROTHY DIX DEAR D EAR DOROTHY DIX DIX I I am a a widow willow with a little boy 4 years ears old I J am employed In an office orfice and make a fairly good goo II living for fot and child Now here is the problem pi I like to have gentle gentle- gentlemen gentlemen gentlemen men friends but as soon as they find nd out that I am a n widow with a boy they drop me as If 1 I were a cold potato I am ant not looking for or a husband but merely a a. little companionship while I J am young and can get It it ft Why should my having a child make such a great deal of ot differ differ- difference difference difference ence to the men A WORKING G MOTHER I Answer Obviously the men find you so 10 attractive that they are re afraid that they will fall in love with you and they don dont don't t twant want to marry a woman with a child 1 That is easy to understand and In common fairness you jou OU must get the mans man's viewpoint The high bight hl h cost of oC living i makes marriage almost prohibitive nowadays ada s. s It takes every cent the average man can ran make to support a wife wire alone and he reels feels that he cannot pos pos- possibly possibly possibly sibly afford one If she Is encumbered with children Also father fatherhood fatherhood hood entails many sacrifices upon a man and It takes one of nn an exceptionally y genelous nature to be willing to work and slave to support another mans man's child Then too most men fear to marry a woman with a child because they realize that they cannot help but be jealous of It They know that the child will always come between them and their wives and while a man may not mind his own baby's baby hands putting his nose out of Joint It Is a different story when it Is a stepchild step step who does It Women omen marry marr widowers with Hh children ren very frequently because e for Cor one thing women are more generally fond of ot children than men are ore and find it easier to be step mothers than men do to be step step- stepfathers fathers Cathers And also because the widower often lies has a good goo II home borne to offer a homeless woman But a man 1008 askance at a woman with witha a child he has to furnish the home and he doesn't want to be bur burdened burdened with any ready made made e family This solves your yeul problem Working Mother and let me metell metell metell tell you that you are a great deal happier providing for your boy than you would be married to a man who resented him and mistreated him The cruel step father Is I. a very common figure and the tho woman with a child should think a long time t before she runs the th risk of having her heart torn In two between her husband and her child DOROTHY DIX DEAR D EAR MISS DIX DIX I I am engaged to a fine young joung woman and we are areto areto areto to be married this spring But Dut as I 1 am ails taking a course at col col- college college lege which will probably mean a II year jear ear or two of hard hUd work before I can make It pay pa we e feel Ceel that it will be best for tor us to remain at atour atour atour our own separate homes and keep our marriage secret 1 I believe that If IC we are married I 1 will see se that I J have to make good gOO so that I will put forth greater effort Where can we be married with the th least difficulty and with the least danger of ot having it become known 1 DRAFTSMAN IAN JR Answer I will wilt be a party p to no secret marriage marr for I consider It the most moat asinine and dangerous thing that any young youn couple can do Listen son to a little reason reason If you are bound and de tie- to get married before you are ready to marry at least have the courage of your folly and do it openly and honestly and In a way that wont won't always leave a little flavor of scandal about It Because cant can't you really reatty keep your re reo re- re relationship with your wife a secret People will always be suspicious of it and nobody ever has any faith lit I Ir a belated b marriage certificate And what good bood will wili the secret marriage do do If you jou OU are openly married iou JOU oa and aud the girl can live exactly as you propose to lo live 11 She bhe he can go on with wills her work and you jou OU cnn can go So on onIth with Ith your studies You ou ou dont don't have has lo to live lire together all the time lime unless you feel that It Is best but when you are together you lou wont won't have to hid hide In holes and corners and be afield of what people are saying saving behind your jour back But if you are a poor weak creature who has to have an Incentive to make you do your duty I should think that you would work harder to get a wife wire than you would for tor one you had already got DOROTHY DIX Copyright by Public Ledger S. 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