Show THE SPORT SPORT- LIGHT Dr liU GR RICE niCE Copyright 1920 I New Ocy york tork Inc V U S Of- Of Of ur Office II lice fice c PROVING lUO Mil m IS NO XO lISH Mr III Rice nice On the state staff of the New York Herald Tribune thero Is Isa Isa II a man named Percy Hammond widely known as a dramatic critic and as the only man who ever went to a hospital to gt a looth pulled I aim and he lie used to work work on the same saine paper out In Chicago and were together tOl We Ve both liked golf though neither of ot us was a Helen Wills and neither ot of us belonged to a 0 golf gol club However we wo hada had a kindly managing cd editor Mr r E B ES S Beck Beele who was a member at atGlen atGlen atGlen Glen View Percy called him hint Ned and I called him Mr Beck Deck as I always found it good policy polley not to mix my business with my social life lICe Anyway Mr Beck Deck or 01 Ned ed asked Percy and me to play with Ith him one day and and we accepted and went out there and met Jock Hutchin- Hutchin Hutchinson son on for lor tho the first time I I have met him twelve times since and he never falls tails to look on each cach In- In Introduction Introduction In Introduction as a 0 novelty At the turn the card showed that my pal and I each ench had scored our par We Ye were feeling pretty prelly good over it and also over ovel thc tho cordiality of oC our OUI boss who had kept urging us to apply for membership Its ns a n great grent club boys he would sn say Jock is a fine teacher we lye have havo have a nice bunch ot of o fellows and the course Is always In won won- wonderful d shape Well ell Mr ilir Rice I dont don't know whether you ou are familiar with Glen GlenView GlenView View as It used to be and per per- perhaps per perhaps haps taps still Is I I dont don't believe so bO though because by this lime timo the go must have taken over ovel the Incoming nine as navigable water At any rate Percy stand stand- standing standIng standing ing on the tenth tee and casting an ee eye on what was still before us us under his breath So tills this Is Venice By the time we had reached the fourteenth we were borrow borrowing ing lug balls from t mine host Each tee teemed seemed to be on a 0 delta and nd each tee shot a splash Wo We 0 quit on the eighteenth when Percy drowned the remaining seven balls In the clubhouse Mr MI Beck still cord cordial lal and smiling said Well shall I get you a couple ot of application blanks You can get set me one Ned re replied re- re replied replied plied Percy on one condition condition condition- that I have to join only the tho first nine holes MR JIm LARDNER A NEV It strikes us that Mr Ham Ham- Hammond Hammond mond mood has Introduced Introduce a new idea Ideo In golf golt especially for tor tile the joiner or 01 orthe orthe the party of ot the second part On almost every evelY golf golt course course there thero are aro holes which the golfer goiter hates There The may be certain bunk bunk- bunkers bunkers ers era placed to catch your best drive There Thelo may be a JI water hazard that Invariably absorbs your OUI drive or your OUI approach ch There may a n long hole or 01 a II short hole hote that Is re replete re- re replete replete with goat getting qualities I There Thelo may be a II hole that one way or another wrecks your our score The Idea then Is to have the applicant tor for membership pia play a course several times and then de- de decide dedde de decide cide which part of ot the course he to join When you ou are aro paying 2000 to join eighteen holes and you OU like only fifteen of oC tho the eighteen and lists hate the other oher three why join all Why h not let the applicant join seven holes on the tho first nine nino cud Bud eight hoie holes on the tho ho second nine Why hy make mako him poin time tho whole eyed POp eyed course courso when ho only III likes es part of oC it Why make him him pay money to vly a hol hole he may bate hato G I IRE TUU IL PLAN PLAN- This Thia 1 Is a plan Ian or an on Idea Ideo that may be bo extended to the tIme or even to the drama Suppose Tex rex Rickard charges 15 for fol a ten round battle between two well ballyhooed purveyors pUI ot of pugilistic merchandise That price ought to be worth ten hectic stanzas or cantos But suppose only six of ot the ten rounds were any good and four tour of ot them were full of ot goo Why shouldn't the taxpayer get a n rebate A ten round fighter tighter has hils only thirty minutes to worl work for tOI or a 0 good bood deal more than It if he Is any sort of ot headliner Why should he b be allowed to get set by with two atle or 01 three or four our stalling atle rounds rounda If It you sena sona pay 3 to son sen II a three-act three show sho aud one of ot the acts Is a 1 bust flop Clop or a r why iT not a rebate bate We ask asic you It IL might aught IK be time enough to t reg- reg regulate prices for tor any sort l ort ot of sport sport- sporting t ing competition when law a 0 Is la passed forcing o ls the spectators to toI I attend tot each c or 01 1 any performance Any ruling passed to protect B a sucker sian Is wasted l motion mollon All the tho standIng sanding n armies and navies navle ot of o the world arc are unequal to tim the job |