| Show Dorothy Dix Talks THE CHECKBOOK H HUSBAND THE UNLOVED WIFE THE LONELY LONE LONE- LY LV OLD PEOPLE PEOPLED WHO LAMENT BECAUSE THEY HAVE MISSED LOVE DONT DON'T REALIZE THAT THEY MUST FIRST EARN THE AFFECTION OF OTHERS AND BE LOVABLE BEFORE THEY CAN BE LOVED human vanity ultimate expressIon In iii the fact P that we all alt expect to be loved whether we are lovable or not We may not do one single solitary thing thine to earn the affections of those about us or even to Justify their liking biking aw yet nevertheless we feel teel used Ill it K they donot do doIt not bestow upon us n a tenderness that we do donot not deserve and have not earned e ea It is i a common thing to hear har ah a embittered man uy say ay sneerIngly that he I Ii only a checkbook to his hiski ki e wife and children that they care nothing for him personally only for 5 C what he can give th them m Or a wile wife iw- iw wail wails out that she h he ha has haa lost her hr hus husband's hus- hus q band bands band's love lov and that her Sons Ions on and daughters are ar ungrateful and ful I ful to her hr Or lonely old people I Is- Is Isit la lament it I ment that they th y have no friends friend and i that nobody wants to have them around DOROTHY DIX AND A AND these people peole who isho bemoan themselves z- z because they have hav missed love never blamo themselves Apparently It never occurs occur to them that the rca lea reason son why they are arc not loved is because they are not lovable For after all there must be lie something to inspire affection The heart must have something to hang itself upon Why for instance should a a husband who is grouchy and surly and tempered Ill who never shows his wife any ten ten- tenderness tenderness ten tenderness or affection or appreciation who never speaks to her except to find fault with her expect her to to love love him I I is there thel-e about him hIni to rouse any enthusiasm In her breast Y V I Why should the she he palpitate with gratitude when she thinks of Ie o him and the way ho he treats lien lien- her Is I there thero anything about such a mans man's con that would make her listen eagerly for or his footsteps return return- returning returning ing home borne at night and set the ringing when ho bo opened the thedoor thedoor thedoor door Could any woman be actress enough to conjure up a gla glad sweet smile of welcome for such a husband Not a bit of it it Such a man may have all the th domestic virtues virtue He may be sober and moral and industrious and a good provider But If he Is personally disagreeable and cantankerous he will kill every particle of his wife wife's s love lov for him and she sh will make a mighty reconciled widow as we have all had frequent occa occa- occasions occa- occa lions sons to observe when some tome of our model citizens who were also grumpy husbands passed away AND A AND ND why wh should a father expect his hit to love him unless be lie behas has lias been a 1 lovable father Cather Parents put a 3 lot ot of misplaced faith In what they call natural affection and ana expect their children to be parents parents devoted to them because they stand In the relationship of ana children In reality there is no such thing as a natural affection as asfar asfar far as the child is concerned Take a baby away from its ita mother and it will love any other woman who Is good and kInd to it as well as It would its own mother Every particle of love we get from a child we must earn t f 00 0 WHY should the father who never even tries to get acquainted SO S 3 with his children who never plays play with them who never talks to them except to correct them who never ne tries to ent enter r Into their Ittle hopes and joys and sorrows son who never m makes e them feel that 10 Is their best friend and is doing dolne everything In his hl power to make them happy expect them to loVe lo him and confide In iii him and be guided by him He has never been anything but a killjoy kill to them They haven't a thought or an idea in common with him They are embarrassed to death if they are left alone with him and they with him him to couldn't carry carryon on a five minutes conversation save their lives It would be absurd to expect them to feel any surging tenderness for this man who is the the- the greatest stranger In all the world to them A ND why should a wife expect her husband to keep on loving 10 her Iler AND A unless she the keeps herself lovable Sometimes the th reason why whys II a husband no longer kisses his wife is because In the privacy of ot do- do domesticity do domesticity she sho ho eats onions or keeps her face ace all smeared up with cold cream Sometimes it is because a man has small inclination to kiss the lips that have just been telling him what a poor mis mis- miserable miserable erable makeshift creature he is and whining because she cant can't have all of the luxuries rich women have have have- Men dont don't marry to get some tome one on to tell them of their faults and mighty few of them love the hand that them on their vanity AND ND why should a 1 womans woman's children love her ber when she fret frets atA at AND A them and nags them continually and makes their lives a a burden to 0 them Very likely she the does this through her own o love and over anxiety over over- anxiety for tor them But It makes home a place of torment from which the children flee Clee as soon goon as they pou possibly bly can and causes them to dread mothers mother's moth rs r's presence In their own homes more mor than any other calamity that could befall them AND A AND ND why should old people who ha e lived selfish self centered self lives es who have never held out a helping hand to anyone any one on in need who have never sat beside a D sickbed or wept with a neIghbor over a grave gray or rejoiced with a n friend over a a triumph expect to be beloved beloved beloved loved and cherished in their declining days They have done nothing to win love leve They Th y have hav laid no noties noties noties ties of gratitude on another They Thy have hav never navel bound another human heart to their own and they have no right to expect to reap where they have not sown town CO 0 IF we want love lo we ire mu must t be bo lovable DOROTHY D ROTHY DIX SO S J Copyright by Public Ledger |
