Show Dorothy y Dix T ALTHOUGH THERE ARE TOO MANY DIVORCES TODAY THERE WERE TOO MANY MARTYRS IN GRANDMAS GRANDMA'S DAY THE SOLUTION WILL COME WHEN PARENTS TRAIN SONS AND DAUGHTERS IN THE TECH TECHNIQUE OF MATRIMONY A A GIRL said to me m tho the other day I am engaged to a splendid young man whom I love lo lov and who loves me but 1 I keep off my wedding day because I am lint afraid to get married 1 I read the ghastly g statistics of the th divorce courts More tb than n one marriage out of o seven falls I look about me r rt rand t and seo ado disgruntled and quarreling wives and hus bus buso g bands on every side In my acquaintance there r are aro not six married couples who o seem happy and satisfied and who really lovo love each other 7 Why Is this Why Is marriage more of ot a fall fail failure ure uro now than it used to be Why are the th marriages of today so unhappy Why are ar there so many di dl divorces nowadays Who Is to blame Y There Ther are ar no more mor unhappy marrIages today than there th re were yesterday y because b curth v Jj the things that bring about matrimonial mis mis- misery misery ery cry do not change Taking It by and large 5 s every question qu stion has haa ha had Just about the same quota of nagging fretful peevish dis dis lI DIC wives The Th same sam number of vira vira- viragoes viragoes goes who henpecked their husbands the same samo number of The Th same sam number of wasteful ex extravagant spenders The Th same number of night ladles ladies who cast roving eyes out of the th home window The Th e same sam me number of men who were bullies and bru brutes bruits es and grouches and tight tight- tightwads tightwads wads and drunkards and petticoat chasers chaser The rhe devil has Invented no new vices He Hi has haa ha not needed to do so The Th old ones were w r perfectly efficient tools with which to break up all ail of the happiness and peace of mar marriage GRANDPA was just as disillusioned when grandma came cams to GRANDPA breakfast with her curl papers on and without her stays as JohnIs John JohnIs Johnis Is when Estelle slouches In to the th morning meal in a soiled kimono If grandma was a shrew with a perpetual motion tongue grandpa was just as afraid of her as Tom Is of starting something with Susan If grandpa was a a philanderer grandmas grandma's heart broke over it justas justas Just as Marys Mary's does when Bob Dob hangs bangs aroun around the flappers lappers I The only difference I Is that in the past no matter what the th wreck of the th home horn Inside nor what the unhappiness they th y kept the tho outer walls wolfs standing and In decent repair while we w smash meek the th whole structure Grandma suffered eyed and was waa silent anent The Th unhappy wife of today broadcasts her sorrows to the th world Grandpa felt that he h was wali In honor bound to stick to his matrimonial bargain no matter what a losing one he had made Now he breaks the contract and compromises with the party of the second p part rt by paying alimony a s a divorce simply L wasn't done by our best people In those Society banned It particularly with women A woman oman was as ostracized who divorced her husband no matter how innocent she was as asor or how Itow ho he had tad beaten and abused and Insulted her Nor was there any way ay In which a divorced woman could earn her bread and butter but but- butter ter so eo she had to stick to her meal ticket no matter It If every mouth ful she swallowed was salted with her tears Therefore there ther were few divorces But Cut that does not prove that there were ere mor more happy marriages than there are arc arenow now It merely shows that people endured moro mare mor because they had to bear It There There was no open door out of matrimony as s we w have There Ther are too many dIvorces divorcee now There were too many martyrs martyr then BUT 1 UT human nature has not changed chanced Men and women aro are no worse I D now than they were In our grandparents time and the th reason that divorce Is more more common than It used to te he Is first because we look at it from tram a different point ot oI view We no longer loncer regard retard It as a a disgrace but as a misfortune And secondly because the eco eco- economIc economic Independence of woman has broken the fetters that that- bound herr hert her td t a fate often orten often worse orse than death Itself and that made mado her ber the th help help- helpless less victim of the passions of a brute It If she happened to marry one The Th terrible thing thine about divorce is I f not the th actual separation ofa of a man and woman who find their marriage a a failure but the rho misery that hat goes before It It The broken dreams Th The cruel disappointments The Tho tears The long dark brooding over wrongs The quarrels The speeches that stab like Ike daggers All the rho Insidious bitterness that can well up from a II wounded heart and poison a life I think that parents are largely to really blame blame really more to blame than the young people them themselves for themselves for elves for their children not being able to get along with the th wives and husbands husband they marry They are to blame blam because although they know that their son sons and daughters are arc practically sure to marry do not train them for matrimony EVERY VERY mother In fn the worM world knows the qualities that a man should i possess to make hIm a good husband d which Is something a apart art tram from being helne a n good geed man Sho She knows know that the man who is kind and considerate pad and generous wao who takes fakes take the trouble to show his wire wife little attentions u who pays her compliments end 2nd makes her nice speeches and who does doe something actively to make moke her happy be- be because causo be-causo cause tho cup ot of t bliss of t the th woman t to whom ke keis he Is married to 0 run over oyer But you never nev r hear h ar of a mother impressing these facto fact on he her sons tons or teaching th them them m that they must make mak a fair divide divid of their money with their wives or Implanting In In their conscIousness a sense cense of their responsibility toward the girls they marry Every Evry mother know knows from her own experience how much how much self control how h w much tact and dip dip- dip diplomacy what wisdom and subtlety it takes to get along with witha a husband what sari fie motherhood and nd wifehood involve but you never hear of a mother teaching her daughters a ally y of the technique of matrimony matrimony INSTEAD pampered spoiled egotistic children who hive had their selfishness cultivated to the nth power marry other pampered spoiled egotistic children who have had their selfishness cultivated to the nth power And when these two undisciplined strong willed strong young creatures come in conflict there Is no wonder that there is the the sound of rending and breaking of bonds and the crash of homes The Te only way to stop divorce is to rear the lh kind of men mm and and women who have a sense sent of responsibility who are unselfish and nd Just and minded fair-minded and who have hav learned to control r temper and their tongues tongue es AND bem AND when you OU find that kind of o a man or woman you needn't needn't be m afraid to set get married DOROTHY DIX Copyright by Public Ledger |