Show r rives Gives Gi G ives s Some Same Pointers Poin ers I On How to Die Young Youn i I There Is nothing so eo exasperating to the motor car driver who loves lovee trouble or who Is anxious to go goto goto coto to heaven as the careful driver It If It wasn't for tor the tho latter laUer ther would be no motor car ar accident or pedestrian problem for tor In lust just n R few law weeks all motor cars can would be In the th ditch and and the drivers In eternity says MYS ft II writer iq In the Louisville Journal Courier l That the careful driver oneil tutee a serious hindrance to the assent ascent or descent of ot the fellow In a a hurry is proved by the fact that with more than 20 million cars care and motor trucks In fn the United States Stales only 1000 persons were killed d and hu hurt hutt duro dur Ins dur-Ins ins Ing J 1326 1926 That Is 13 a shameful rec- rec record record rec record ord for tor at this rate rale It will take tak some lome of ot us 1000 years year to get to heaven via the automobile route WATCH Tilt THIl GIRLS GIRLS n Rule le No 1 therefore may well be Never trever pay attention to your driving or where you are ar going The girls on the sidewalks with tour four one garters one pair to hold up UI her stockings stocking and another pair to hold up the traffic traffic ore are so much more marc Interesting than the tele- tele telephone telephone tele telephone phone poles safety Islands or other car cars cara This I Is one on of ot toe the easiest ways to exterminate your your- yourself yourself our self and others 2 Never grant crant the way of ol- ol wa way Why hY In the name of ot great hospital bills anyone should expect one to grant rant the the- right right-ef way ot way Is Isone Istone one bno of ot tha tho mysteries of ot life liCe Fore Fore- ForcIng Inc Forc-Inc Ins Ing the passing motorist onto the curb or Into the ditch only proves that yo you possess real will power and should be Jd OUT Or 3 Do Because tire chains greatly minimize skidding these should be kept In the th tool box A 4 chained wheel leathers gathers no camago am co suite says the police Inspector of ot Oma- Oma Omaha Omaha Oma-ha Oma ha Obviously such statements are arp propaganda for tor safety safey and should never be given serious consideration consideration consideration tion by motorists who enjoy wear wear wear- Ina Bu such h insidious Insidious u us s propaganda Is ap- ap appalling appalling ap palling Several organizations such sueh a t a-t taxicab companies have recently can adopted 1 the slogan There can be no compromise with safety To counteract this all motorists seeking to shorten lire should adopt the slogan sloran We have to die dlo why eventually eventually why not now There There- are IL a a fw sw thrills Illee those thoss of ot helplessly riding In Ina Ina Ina a car that Is skidding and utterlY beyond control Your Tour heart sinks and your stoma becomes n vacuum vacuum-ard u aid d then there here Is almost always the tho satisfaction of giving the poor undertaker or coroner something to do 4 4 Always Alwa's drive on the wrong side aide of or the road food This denotes excellent Judgment on your part and contributes to the th rood good 00 1 na- na nat na nature lure ture t ure of ot the tho ap 01 motor motor- motor motor-It is h 5 Never look back baele when you 1 0 shirt shift Into reverse If there Is a little child or an el el erli woman I well there well that Is their hard bard hardlUck hardluck lUck SIGNALS IS IMPORTANT 6 t 6 Never liever sIgnal when you turn turn I or slop stop and alwa's always ain be sure lure to cut cutin In as all closely as possible passing passing another car Doing Dolne this 01 always was wa's gl gives fives you the th desired trouble 7 B De Be sure that you drink alaree a large quantity of booze booz before starling to drive One On natural born fool one ne pint of bad gin fin and andone andone one powered high-powered motor car Is a mixture that will wI Invariably make itself known lenon to St Peter All that I Is la necessary Is to soak tool fool In gin fin place In the car and let letto go After due die time remove tram from wreckage place In box lined with satin MUn and garnish with flowers t 8 6 Never let an opportunity slip by to pass another car while on a curve S curves are ar par par- particularly particularly par particularly well suited to results since such an S nearly always alway stands for tor suicide PARSING P STREET C CARS CS S 9 Always pass pan a standing trolley car at full tull speed The traffic traffic traffic fic cop at the corner will never nev r misunderstand lAnd your our Intentions Intention I and since everyone alighting from the tho c car car r faces area forward thus hay hay- bavIng hayIng Inc hav Ing their backs to you ou such acv ac action lion tion contributes to tho the revenue of florists as well welt as 81 the business or of orthe the police pollee 10 Ly Dy all means make every effort to beat the train to th the grade gradl crossing You should worry It f you rou hit the Iraln train train- It doesn't belong to you ou and anyway you'll ne never ver live Jive to pay the costs |