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Show CONIirNHI.I) VITTICISSIN Hi Young Lad Well, Aunt Rachal, 1 shall havo to bid you a long fsrowalL HH Ouard If you'ro going In this train, HH ma'am, you'll havo to mak It pretty HH Paasenger (to station porter) Now, ,HJ It's 4 o'clock and tho tlmo table saya H ths train arrives at 3:14. Station por- HH ter Ob, well, you rausn't take th HH tlm tabla too acrloualy. Pllegandt HH Blaetter, "Tou are aceuacd of being a ehronlo IHjja thief- What excuse have you got?" HjV "None, 'ceptln' ehronlo poverty," re- HjM piled th vagrant. HjV Boas Pat, havo you a watch? Pat H Nlver a wan, sor, and phwat would 1 HjB do wit It? Boss Well, I want you to HI report at the office at 11:20. But, any JHJ way, the belbi ring at noon, and yem HjV can oomo half an hour beforo. Klleg- Hal ond IllaetUr. HB Tonne Newman took part In aa aatomobllo race not long ago. Browa H That so? How did he come o-jtl HjV Towne On crutches, about a monU Hal later. Philadelphia Press. HS Joaher They say that Mrs. New flH rocks simply won't bo snubbed. Big- GW head Well, there wouldn't be any SHE body In society unless they had an- $Xi cestors Jut IIU. her. life. jil, ' M Dolle Do you think Chappie lores WU. me? Orace I know It, He told m 6V today that be was going to share oft lafi, his mustache so he could devote more Mat! thought to you. Smart Set. Ml Pittsburg Man What would you UH folka do It a mob of rioters should Hjl come chsrglng down Broadway? New jHJ Yorker (busily) Start a policeman ta H shooting at a dog. New York Weekly. HJ Magistrate (severely) How eould HJ you be so mean as to swindle peopla HjB who put confldince In you? Prisoner HJ Well, yer honor, I'll make It worth HJ something to ye If you'll tell he how HJ to work them as don't. Tlt-Dlts. HJ |