Show PARIS SUFFERS HOUSE f Ar Few Hav Have Bath Tubs Or Heat Funeral News Watched BT Dv JES in nC DI no of ot The Thc rA right 1925 1935 by th the Cnn oll- oll dated Press Association Assoc PAHI PARIS Jan 1 17 Let Let nobody 80 eay that the French are nrc not be- be becoming be becoming coming Americanized It Its s liS es s dif dif- dif difficult to find an nn apartment In Pari tod todAy tody y as ac a It was os as In ew cw Yok In the tho ear ar of o the t greit housing famine around 1120 Nothing In Inthe inthe Inthe the world orld could be more Ain 11 ii 1 ln can c'an indeed It Its s positively New NewYork thal tha than the na l you OU cnn can t get et mi an apartment anywhere an 1 and the tho methods sou OU take 1 0 o try to get tt ono one anyhow anho There Is a little colony oC ot more than Ihan 30 In the Ule cit citi Ot or this number ap- ap ap approximately proximately 30 arc lire hunting In addition there Ire are of course coure quite a number of oC o people who ho ho also alo are arc looking for 1 what hat they still call caU flats 0 0 o 01 M 1 i IV v G 1 0 more apartment nr are being rushed Into existence No- No No Nowhere where here Is the merry mrry tattoo of o the audible e as In New York from Crom d n to dor dark One gels gets homesick for tor a I heap or of nd nd bricks and plaster to trip 0 oer er In the middle of ot the side side side- sidewalks walks 1 aUs The Tho idea of oC putting up a anew anew anew new apartment house hasn't nt oc- oc oc occurred purred to lo any French builder since the war l ar We mean thear the war ar ar In Joan of or Arc took part Con the fight tight to obtain an am an where anio an 10 mn may be available a sa say In four from now I Is like a battle of fans for tor tho the lat last ticket to a orld serle series Nothing Is obtained from the source oure from which l It might na- na naturally naturally na naturally be suppo supposed ed to spring One coal COllI from wine Ine mer mer- merchants mer- mer merchants merchants chants precious antiques from 8 and pa from one ones one's undertaker It Is 19 i lamentable truth th t e een cen en In Paris people do die and at tills this I Is tempered b bv in n Un- Un Unholy un unholy holy gleo glee that those who die can cannot cannot cannot not possibly take their apartments with Ith them sEt SEIK K Kr t r- r Hence the desperate de tor a a homo home learn learns at la last t the way I 1 l I to the undertakers undertaker's door Do Do you ou know ir lie he Inquires of o the the- solemn faced pro pro- pro pro-pi letor of ot a te nt apartment I know ow monsieur iho under under- undertaker undertaker taker r replies gently as befits an undertaker of oC an apartment that iii shortly bo be for tor rent It has four rooms a veritable bath tub and a a little garden And An l so on The un en Sn In the da das s of oC famine his e eve ee 0 to e mOle than the details absolutelY to his Ills art You pay the undertaker a goodly bonus and he slips vou ou the add address res ot of the tho de- de deceased deceased de deceased ceased A friend of ouis who vho ho bad had been sea chine ching foi an nt through many hectic months got chummy with every undertaker in lir hr li r 1 vl One early she as awakened b by the shriek of oC o the telephone at her ber bedside The tin tin- un undertaker v was as on the wire Madame I have hate at list Fist got news nes ot of th the most mOlt delightful part ment part part- merit ment ho hG babbled It It has five rooms and so on WAn WAIT FOR FOn DEATH Where m Where ere Ma- Ma Madame Ma lb Madame dame who tho ho had been read read- r reading reading md- md ing the death notices for the pat few tew days ill S only to find tin In ii ach cale that the apartment hid Ild been heen rented just before her ai rival But But Ma Madame I tic the mortician replied the the ap Is not et leady p r Oh Oh ot of course I loi cloi t 1 wish Ish to tomo tomo mo moe mo e In until after acter the funeral Madame replied I e nut flut Madame the mortician explained the he death ht h hnot hn not et ed It Is a very old gentle gentle- mn who iho ho Is now emey 11 IlAnd And I havo have It from tho the that at the tho mot most it st 1 will ill III be he onla onla a few fett fedas das dais An apartment with sIth Ith a bath tub might easil easily indeed d 0 one to 10 murder It if other means ot of obtaining It hUel the tub and the I trimmings are the mot most ambitious things In Inthe inthe Inthe the of this town lown The tub If It such there bo be and often oCten there Isn't Is ted loc not le less s than quarters three quarters of or a 0 mile down the coldest stone-flagged stone corridor t t lI ever ga gate cave e a bather chilblains And usually the tub shaped coffin Is Ir isI l I ot of zinc line lIh a n gas light under under- undernEath underneath neath and looks like something from Tutankhamen's torn tomb in one Would ouid to lie he do donn donit 11 efter forgetting to turn oft off tl ti- tigas gas It U SS SS The radiators are se nm f br r heating But they add materially to the e scheme Each Bach lukewarm arm little oil coil of pipes ha has a real linen trimmed with Ith lace ovel O Ps Is top tol to take tako away the tho crudity and nudity of oC o It its utilitarian appear appear- appearance appearance ance Not the th least enjoyable part ot of oti searching for an Is to figure out what a French decor decor- toi i tOI thinks about |