Show collisions hilt baths laths in A 7 ayi ift ever in a collision colli aion well athea and the speaker a small mail with new sport ill town irons ra a keen eye and a humorous expression lit a cigar took a deep araw aud with an immense in mense volume of smoke concealed somewhere ineide his personality began the story 1 I waa coming down from minneapolis a year ago last winter on alio chicago burlington and quincy you that that was oae of the hardest winters ever leonn in the north west and lie snow lay very deep alf over the prairies it was early in february and the weather wa bitter cold we biad a heavy train aud from alie lime we left st paul the train steadily lost time with every mile 1 it was work wallowing through the big drifts and tha ride promised to be a long one but it bo helped and wo had a choice party formed in the buu et c hair car and a nice little gamo of cinch for nominal stakes in progress the bu net was lia nily anil there wag plenty of coal in alie locker and there waa no reason why the time should drag about 1 in the morning just as I 1 was about to everything in sight an ace king jack hand we plopped BO that cards glasses and counters were scattered promiscuously over the floor by the time the parly had gathered itself together abrade man auck his head in the door and said them was no occasion tor alarm wo had merely stack in a drift nod he called for volunteers to dig the engine out well we all went and shoveled snow and after half an hour or so of hard work we got through and started again we went back K the car and fora while the porter was kept busy mixing hot drinks nobody felt likening to bed nd so the game was started again it must have been about G 0 clock in the I 1 think and we arre twenty five or chitty miles when the edme thing happened again it was no novelty this time but we all turned out and shoveled snow again ami finally got her started then wo turned in tha blessed consciousness eliat when we woke up it would be just in time to dresa for a good dinner in chicago but where fate got a ringer on us do you know where freeport ii was about ahree miles west of that point we were pounding along and trying to make up bunac of our lost lime sleep and so I 1 came out and dropped into another little card parly in the chair car we were playing at of those narrow swinging tables ono end of which ia hinged to the side car and I 1 was sitting facing the buffet and probably six feet distant from it the frant of the buffet was a big sheet of plate glass and behind it the cook ft typical negro cok fat and good natured was coaxing an oyster edew over an oil stove well the game was getting in cresting when crr we stopped im rather a lightweight and the shock of the collision picked me up bodily and hurled roe headforemost through the plate glass into the bosom of the cook literally paralyzing that functionary and sprinkled a shower of soup all over the car singularly enough I 1 did not sustain scratch or a bruise but the cook dian didn t breath again far half an hour by the time we had pulled the remaining tourists out of the hf tracks and coal box and from under the chairs the same nervy brakeman brake mau put his head in alio llio door and saidi gents weve run into a freight rain on the curve Nob odys killed who 11 ll volunteer to help clear away the wreck A fat mau faoro southern illinois who biad just recovered his senses and in a voice heard in the nest car heT oared not a blankette blan ketty blank man and we but we lay there butil that afternoon and got into chicago after dark having been twenty two hours on the road me from traveling in aliat country in the winter hereafter oot hiim in a baix free JYM did you five that mail money was asked of a citizen why had just parted with a man who walked with a limp yes a quarter lies n chronic beat well perhaps but you should discourage such characters yes I 1 know but when a man comes up to you and calla you colonel and says lie was right behind you alien you charged that battery at how can you go back on hiat but you were not at antietam Anti etem no you were bot a colonel no you even enlist in the late war no and do you suppose im going to own it up for the sake of saving a quarter nut ive got a halt dollar for the first roan aliu calan me general coply buff like it i youths did you ever see a play aunt martha asked a lady of an elderly aunt from the country who was spending a week in the city yes I 1 daiil was the reply when uncle peter and roe was marr ird we come to the city on our bridal tower and we went to one of mr pieces callad biow D you like it and I 1 like it a bit and I 1 aint been bince clieh iv r ay in the afar the american tragedienne alie manageress of ahe wal nut street Thea philadelphia and wishing to secure the services of mr charles walcot sr with whom she will very friendly aa the principal con edian of her company she wrote lawna giua the position at a salary nf au a he re plied that lie would accept the en arra salary of a week a very large salary for an actor in those dacci the following ia miss Cush roana reply 1 lairse AUG to esq my dear mr walcot if so be tol ile riddle lol deray I 1 should double your ten times 3 ln lol de ray I 1 fear I 1 grumio trouble or else wilh considerable too much bubble it I 1 indeed enclee a rather te ill 01 ol ile riddle lol do ray ill biffi r ten times 5 ri tal ile lol de ray which la ill I 1 in da im alive ki t J lii lille lol de ray but if you to ua why we will make suii comfortable aa can be for im your true friend C S C ii tol de riddle lol de majl taft fal lowing M mr Wal cots reply to miss awman MO 2 AIR take time miss L id have yours miss charlap Charl lp and would not have been eo long but for reasons miss which are not to be slighted in my song so I 1 took my time misa charlotte and though you may think it 1 I 1 know pay they are not for to bo considered wrong your dij a kind one and dont I 1 come it strong when t eay in mind one of the things to say there long the ive my time miss charlotte the will be among my foremost that you are not of light friends throng but to tell the miss charlotte ive an effir from the Chatham which are not to be sneezed at am I 1 wrong so I 1 took my time mis charlotte like a wide awake garcon for ollars here misa are not to be justly called pas 60 id sooner go with you miss charlotte but though my inclinations strong there s the travelling tra velling miss which are not to be done without I 1 argenet so fare you well miss charlotte may jour success be great and long and never you are not the grateful grat elul theme of charleys song too cheso maria he said aa with coldly critical eye he eyed them aej then shook his head etli chunks of warm rubber would ie and bah filiata horrible taste it s the taste of nearly raw dough these roust have been made in great haste I 1 should die if I 1 ale one I 1 dynow said fiig wife with a look your maw happened in here you see and made aint ehe a good cook pasa tho waffles my darling said he aclei ti settle for hia Granatt lier post the other day an called at the white house and in enumerating me rating the reasons for bis ap to the place he was seeking fluid that lie was named after the presidents grandfather that may be a very good claim baui the president jocosely joc isely but I 1 have a still better one that comes from tle south I 1 received a letter a few days ago from a person who said that my grandfather knew his arand father and had promised promie ed 0 o help him he thought therefore that I 1 ought to consider the agreement as devolving upon me and accordingly asked for an linclon Linc ln ii Eat unita of JW will bomback is at the ebbitt speaking about the president said he and tho office seekers of course there are three applicants cants for every position two are going be disappointed he cail give bliem all places that reminds me when lincoln was president he was taken ill and the doctor told him lie biad Mirio loul what is itha asked Vario luid timid the doctor good enough said lincoln ive got something now I 1 can give everybody A londoner with more leisure than brains has counted of which daily pass a certain point on the and bo ainoa they average over daily point clayce in the foyer at bercyl we cant go to the matinee at all 1 have loft my tickets at home and A cent about me W haell wa do Misa Standpipe lela go chop ping toledo blade afcin un laimi V volt one of tons wide awake bilk peddlers ia a tingle woman 4 or 25 years old she irita round in a covered wagon with vindola iu front and eluding eliding diora n each side and she domeni leave ler seal when she serves her cm omers the au run through a sou pie of holes iu the dagou a rout slie drops tacui and ricieri i bell as soon ai her horae gt g i customers cuine and alie servant rota out and gets served by ahe rosy checked cheeked milkmaid her horae klows every customers place ai nell as she lea the jolly dounn womac fiema fi ema to enjoy her life tip top it makes n i difference lat ahe weather is he is as regular a the sun the year round an old fashioned housewife in a cailton Cl ilton pa houe will never permit her hubband to bo without at leat one black in the fl ip she has got a notion that it ia not healthy to with any kind of dye ia the wool and a she dial ikea to wear white guitry all her Bloc kings are made out of natural black wool she cards ohp wool into rolls by hand juilus people did three or four generation ago spins the rolla herself aal her own stockings ps once a tree fell on her only black awn and killed it and her li i ilung hait to butlo around and it took him three days and annlea of travel but ho finally anine across a black ewe iino fifteen miles away and bought it denmark has a new and society it ia called the Celibacy assurance society its object being to provida for women who cant or wont marry premiums bebin at the ape of thirteen and end at forty at the latter age a dounn receives an annuity lor life if she marries at any time after taking out a policy she forfeits all claims on the society the profits of the society are expected to provide well for members who never marry miss susanna M dundee of newton mas the first woman to be bank treasurer in the united states willi the help of a clerk now handles about in money each year inythe fifteen years of her experience she has hut twice taken in a counterfeit bill ill eacle case ft 1 one mrs mary II 11 hunt leader ot the movement for temper ance instruction has been invite to attend the closing exercises of the naval academy at Aana on may to inspect a review of the classes in the study to which she is devoted S far ex senator of virginia has failed to obtain a federal appointment It eally the administration ought to aak him to take something N Y bromley I 1 hear you are going to housekeeping yes darringer what have you bot toward it A afie detroit free prea lives of cowboys all remind us if on earth we wish to stop we should leave them far behind u or arrange to get the drop pa valley spirit he cant I 1 one kw before I 1 go only oni she and if I 1 let you iivo cne you will take two wont you he no I 1 wont indeed I 1 wont she then you have any terrie haute express bankrupts wife well at tny rate the tompson failure wai wone than ours sympathizing friend why I 1 thought it was juat the other nay Banke upla difo no ini leej elward only failed for 10 cents on the while mr failed for 50 harper harpers ila gime 1 desire to apply for the of gauger recently held by my alil friend jones who was founie drowned day before yesterday 1 have just come from tha funeral sorry fsmith but the place hu already been filled so quick who got theja the roan who discovered the body floating in the river B ton herald |