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Show I JUST FOR FUN Hl I A Woman's Humor. H "Madam," began the man, ro- H I pectfully, "I am very hungry. H Could you give mo a bit of eomo- H thing?" H ' "I will call tho dog," tho woman j replied. H "I am hungry enough to cat the H dog," the roan said, "but I'd rather Hj have something else." Hj And, woman like, sho went in- H sido and hanged tho door. Buffalo Hi Express. H New Ideas on Banking. H "I should liko to open an ac. Hl -ount at this hank, if you please." H "Wo shall be glad to accomodato H , you, madam. What amount do you Hl . wish to deposit?" H ! "Oh, but I moan a charge ac- H count, such as I have at tho big Hr dry goods stores." Chicago Tri- H i Hl Retribution. H "Lady," nald Plodding Pcto, H "havo you ony more of dat mince H ' pie dat you cant use yourself?" H "Yes. Here's nearly half of it, Hl Are you going to cat it all?" H "No, lady. I hate to be rovengc- Hl . ful. But dat dog of yours has an B ugly disposition I'm going to feed H I It to him." Washington Star. H Either Way. H i J The Optimist After all, marri- H . I ase is the thing. If you marry tho H ' right woman, there is nothing liko H I j The Pessimist And If you marry H . tho -wrong woman, there is nothing H like It! London Opinion. Aaked Too Much. An antiquated looking Individual yasi hawking, fish. "Fine fresh fish, fower a penny," roared he. A woman came to the barVow. "Are they fresh?" sho aBked. "Thej-'re fower a penny, mum," was tho guarded 'reply "Yes," responded the other, "I heard you say so, but are they fresh?" Founding His Fortune. "When I was a young man I was very fond of music," remarked Mr Cumrox. "My singing laid the foundation foun-dation of my fortune." "You sang so woll?" "No: the captain of Industry who started me in life said that anybody who would get up before folks and sing as I did had marvelous mar-velous nerve and indomitable will power. A Terrible Power. "What will you do when tips are abolished?" askod the moroso man. ''Tips alnt going to be abolished," abolish-ed," replied the waiter. "When a young man takes a young lady to dinner he ain't goln to let a fow silver coins stand In the way when ho knows it's Up to me to make him look liko a good provider" or a piker." Now York Globe. "And what Is tho plot of your piny?" asked the stage manager. "Oh, we havon't a plot yet," replied re-plied the author. "We've been too busy. But we havo a lovely list ; of patronesses." St. Louis Times. ' |