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Show What to Do in Case of an Air Raid By THOMAS R. ROBBINS 1. As soon as the bombs start falling, run like hell. (It doesn't matter mat-ter where, so long as you run like hell.) 2. Wear track shoes if possible ... if the people in front Of you are slow, you won't have any trouble stepping over them. 3. Take advantage of opportunities afforded you when air raid sirens sound the warning of attack, for example: (a) If in a bakery, grab some pie, cake, etc. fb) If in a tavern, grab a few beers, (c) If in a movie or a taxi, grab a blond. 4. If you find an unexploded bomb, always pick it up and shake It like hell. (Maybe the firing pin is stuck). If that doesn't work, heave it in the furnace. (The fire department will come later and take care of things.) 5. If an incendiary bomb is found burning in a building, throw gasoline on it. (You can't put it out anyhow, you might just as well have a lot of fun.) 6. Always get excited and holler .bloody murder. It will add to the fun and confusion, and scare the hell out of the kids. 7. Drink heavily, eat onions, limberger cheese, etc , before enter- in a crowded air raid shelter. (It will make you very unpopular unpopu-lar with the people within your Immediate vicinity eliminating eliminat-ing any unnecessary discomfort that would be more prevalent if people crowded too closely.) 8. If you should be the victim of a direct bomb hit, don't go to pieces. Lie still and you won't be noticed. 9. Knock the air raid wardens down if they start to tell you what tteufriends67 always save the best seat for themselves and 10. In case of an air raid, ignore the above nine (9) rules Merely crawl under the nearest table and cooperate to the fullest extent ex-tent with your air raid warden. |
