Show 2 seconds TM to go FICTION by nora IAN S corej BORTNER WONDERED why I 1 let I 1 carl bullard drown it that I 1 hated him he was a nice enough fellow just a boy of course and too sentimental and too soft and too rich if only he mar ried constance id have saved him in hall half a minute but lor for that instead I 1 watched the water swirl over his head and wondered no one could know what I 1 had bad done that I 1 had killed him almost Is a much as it if I 1 had pushed him down and held him under the surface how could they ever know I 1 was 1 quiet and still on the edge of the p pier f er with my feet dangling in the cool water and a cigarette cF cigarette garette between my fingers behind me sat carl bul lards wife talking this calmly with some weeks of ner her guests and an behind her the best shoreline shore line of carl bullards Bul lards land fiction stretched away serene and smooth to carl bullards Bul larda lards roomy house on the opposite side of ct carl bullards Bul lards cove and I 1 stared down between my toes at carl bullards Bul lards white bod body y in tha water he had looked straight at me as be went down it was a queer tortured pleading sort of a look as if he be knew exactly what was happe happening to him and was trying to tell me with his eyes he had opened his mouth to cry out shipped a full gasp of water into that boyish chest of his and gone down with hardly more than a ripple cramps I 1 guess id seen the same thing before but not so quick the cove was twelve feet deep at the end of the pier and greenly translucent to the yellow sandy bottom it seemed almost too loo clear too innocent to kill a man but I 1 knew it was happening I 1 could see carl bullards Bul lards slow convulsive thrashing he was not yet halfway half way down how long would it be before he touched the sand two seconds ten but how eternally long a second can be constance had bad warned him said it was too soon after lunch said he be ought to wait a while but he had laughed in that small boy way he had and chucked her under the chin and then he had run across the pier to jump in over my head I 1 could suu still feel the little breeze of his passing it was cold on my wet back it was the chin chucking I 1 think that made me sit still while he be tank sank constance was not a woman lo ito be chucked under the chin you sing swing in a church would you what I 1 mean im a fine one to talk about churches but what constance how long would it be before he touched the sand two second ten but how eternally long lone a second can be does to me yesterday I 1 saw her tor for the first time in three years and its worse with me now than it was then Alot A lot worse deeper potboy and girl stuff any more man and woman and ashes married to carl bullard she would have married me it if things had gone right they though I 1 thought a year in buenos aires at an unbelievable salary would give me my start instead of that three years in buenos aires and amazing bad duckat luck at any and all forms of gambling gave me a taste tor for living and little to live on three years there bad been letters between us the first few months gee I 1 miss you connie wish my year was up 1 I miss you too aleck seems like like a year already keep writing often UT the letter slowed down alter after BUT ba a while and then stopped altogether my fault I 1 know I 1 coul dritt keep lying to her about the money I 1 was supposed to be saving it it was well in my second year that I 1 heard shed been married the news filtered down to me one way or another I 1 mind then I 1 had other diversions three years Is a long time almost as long as it was taking carl bullard to reach the yellow sand he was near it now and not clearly outlined just a slow moving blur three years was enough to gi give ve me a We lifetimes times fill of everything somehow constance heard I 1 had come back and she wrote to me just a friendly welcome back note that meant she held no hard bard feelings the boy and girl stuff was done with and yet I 1 suddenly wanted to see her talk with her I 1 found her here at the cove she was still the constance I 1 remembered it if a I 1 little tl subdued a little settled and satisfied fied but there was so something methin in her eyes when she looked at me that made me wish id never gone away from her A glow not just friendliness more than that it was the glow in her eyes that kept me at the cove I 1 have stayed at the bullard place except for that A flock ot of guests as dull and chattering as guests always are A husband who kept grinning at her like a gawky boy and patting he her r arm and chucking her under the chin the glow in her eyes wb whenever enever she looked at me made up for all of that I 1 wanted to take my stare from carl bullards Bul lards body now nearly on the sand and look over my shoulder toward constance I 1 wanted to see those glowing eyes again meeting mine but I 1 move instead I 1 thought ot of something very interesting it if I 1 were to sit still only a little longer the pier and the house bouse and the cove and a great deal more would belong to constance shed be wealthy and with a glow in her eyes when she looked at me three years in the argentine for nothing and three minutes on carl bullards Bul lards pier for everything I 1 wanted why I 1 let carl bullard drown I 1 ITS TS STRANGE when youre tense and still how all your senses become sharp beyond normality while mile I 1 watched the greenish white blur that was carl cari bullard the feminine voices behind me which before had been unintelligible became clear and distinct constance talking to her guests that water looks so good she said 1 I wish I 1 could go in why dont you connie I 1 wondered why you sh h doctors orders there was a pause conniel connie you dont you might as well know now as later I 1 guess be in december you noticed the way ive put on weight why my dear we had no ideal but now I 1 know why carl has been so attentive and that sparkle in your eyes connie all the signs the sparkle in her eyes the glow carl bullards Bul lards body was on the sand at last tumbling awkwardly shapelessly my cigarette dropped into the water I 1 heard it hiss and then I 1 dived in without taking time to stand carl bullards Bul lards grip nearly broke my arm |