Show of f T L twenty five bye years have hate elapsed since the disappearance of richard mcfarlane in world war I 1 and ill his wife lull julia 1 Is beset with fresh worries as the children childr e n she has bas raised with tho the aid 0 of I 1 her ither ln in law john 1 I become bacorn involved in world war II 11 ric 27 ha hai washed out in the air corps corp while jill 26 1 fall a us in love with spang gordon cordon a young lieutenant julia confides her troubles to dive dave patterson Patter fon an a old family friend who h has as alway secretly ecret ly loved her jill and spang 10 0 to a dance e and jill discovers the she 1 Is ovine in love b but u t t Is s n nettled e wed when S spang pang apparently parent ly d aes n lt return her feeling she acts els say fay Jio however wever to conceal her bet own love from him CHAPTER V then abruptly spang cleared his throat ive got something to tell your mother he said and im worried whether I 1 should tell her or not maybe know what I 1 should do you mean something about me he broke off a head of goldenrod and examined the small sulphur colored blossoms minutely no not about you you suit me fine ane ive had a grand time and I 1 hope let roe me come back again if im not shipped out no its about ric 1 I suppose hes in some sort of trouble that happens she said stiffly ric and I 1 were pretty good friends at college spang went on we lived in the same house and though I 1 finished two years before he be did we wrote now and then and kept in touch then this war came along and I 1 got in early and got my commission and of course PAC was an enlisted man so that complicated things but ive managed to see him occasionally and what hes heg doing Is he ducking out of things breaking regulations that sort of thing 1 1 I dont know about his service record I 1 any contact in that direction but the last time we were in town I 1 saw him with a woman they were both drinking and though ric tight exactly he was talking too loud he wanted me to meet her did he salaam properly before the shoulder bars and the beautiful whipcord whip cord breeches jilt spoke more bitterly than she knew because her heart was hurting hurtin ng from disappointment spang laid the gold spangled leaf on top of her head dont be nasty gal can I 1 help it if this army is all stiffened up with military courtesy and stuff I 1 still like ric why I 1 like what wha I 1 was seeing ashes older than he Is ashes been divorced her first husband was an officer who got kicked downstairs after pearl harbor ashes living there in the hotel and a sergeant I 1 know pretty well told me that ric was seeing a lot of her ashes a handsome wench one of those silver blondes with nice skin and a helpless look you know the type I 1 have a feeling your mother would zet me like it it but still I 1 hate to tay say anything but surely ric t get serious about a woman like that 1 I dont know ric provides Proui des a new worry you do know spang more than youre telling met mel I 1 dont have to be protected from the truth even if it pleasant no I 1 really dont know anything definite jill im just worried all and since ive met your mother and seen the sort of home ric has it bothers me it may be just another episode ric had a few when we were together the trouble Is jiu jill said mother spoiled ric terribly my father come back and I 1 think she needed somebody to lavish all that love upon somebody to keep her heart from breaking I 1 was just a good egg somebody she could talk to but vi alc f got her deep affection and anything he does off color wo would wd hurt her frightfully id hate bate to tell her ill decide whether I 1 ought to after youre gone you do anything about it anyway could you no I 1 do anything about it bics a man hed resent any interference from me hed have a right to resent it of course he may be shipped out and that will put an end to the affair then it Is an affair jiu jill ive told you all I 1 know ive heard he discussed in various places and lizard h eard L the things other men say a bout about her all ive heard beard men speak of her when they were talking without inhibitions and ric is pretty young twenty seven so young hes old enough to have a little sense jiu jill said angrily they walked down the lane say ing little after that he going to say anything maybe he care at all jill was thinking with the painful knot hnot made of anger and tears growing hard and in iii her herl throat spang talked athe future presently but of 0 a future in which she had bad no part or any other woman if 11 that could be called a comfort he said aid A month from now ill bp 1 back on this weekend week end cud thinking of 0 the wonderful time ive had and trying jill asked her head tilted a little to remember how I 1 look he bent his head and his eyes moved over her slowly and soberly 1 I wont have to try hair like a new five inch shell and a sassy nose disposition like TNT jill supplied keeping to the airy mood hair trigger set if things dont happen when I 1 want them to I 1 explode all over the place no spang said quietly you arent like that when you go up against a thing you really want you wait for it quietly with considerable determination grim very grim have you found anything yet that you really wanted and get something you really wanted I 1 mean not a whim jill tet get her teeth was he trying her trying to get past the rigid control ot of her chin and her care jill Z julias lace face changed paled and grew taut what a ridiculous suggestion she said stiffly ful eyelids when I 1 tad find it ill get it some way some aimel desperate eh eha spang laughed a little but the laugh was shaken and so was the pressure of his hand on her elbow uncertain your eyes dont give you away as a desperate female at all how do they look inane I 1 suppose oh sort of sweet and melting I 1 think find ways to get what you want without any fight so her eyes were melting but they were melting they were practically dissolving and if 11 she talked any more shed be crying like a fool because she was in love and men were so unbearably stupid she said coolly ive trained my eyes to ue lie very politely lets hurry shall we I 1 smell the roast and mamie gets peevish if dinner waits on sunday she belongs to the holiness church and they have services in the afternoon after that the day wore on her grandfather telling over again interminably ably the story of how buzzards hill had been a military hospital in the civil war julia trying to efface herself and maneuver john I 1 away so that jill and spang could be alone sweet of dooley jill thought but all quite useless spang in love with her how could he be and keep so carefully silent about it thank heaven when she put him on the bus at dusk she let herself go been careless enough to let him see how utterly lost she was he had held both her hands when he said goodby good by and she had promised to come down to the field again as soon as she could and then he had given her a gay little salute and climbed aboard and been rushed away out of her sight A talk between Beti veen julia and ill the beat settled drowsy and enervating erva ting as it pressed upon the world in august and jill grew a little wan she tried gallantly to fit herself into the quiet life of buzzards hill she pretended an excited interest in the new pigs though privately she thought the wriggling hairless little things revolting and thought what an amazing thing mother love must be that it could believe any new creation lovely she even put in a warm morning digging in the garden that was going sadly to weeds since fosters son had gone oil off to the army at noon she went back to the house soaked in perspiration a good manicure a sad ruin and every muscle screaming weariness the unaccustomed activity after that strenuous adventure she took a hot shower and flung herself on the bed too utterly tired to go down to lunch julia found her there and looked at her shrewdly youre taking this the hard way jill ive brought you some cold milk drink it and go to sleep youre being very gallant but try to be reasonable about it it 1 I have to do something dooley life has to be tor for something or about something mine aline its it just a purposeless existence just using up days and there are so many of them and so long julia dropped into a chair she wore her heavy jeans and she was warm and weary too 1 I know you had to learn yet liow how long years can be jill I 1 hope you never will how did you bear it it dooley that last war you arent changed you arent old you t any I 1 lines in your face 1 I had two children to take care of and I 1 had hope and V I 1 jill said sadly over the rim of the glass anything at aul allf it turned out that way did it I 1 want to ask any questions it turned out that I 1 fell in love so deeply I 1 was practically shameless about it and to all appearances spang he liked my eyes he thought you were a handsome woman he said he had a good time and then he talked about the job he had to do and hoped hed see me again if love dooley what kind is it perhaps the bravest kind of all jill the kind a man keeps to himself because he knows he be has nothing to offer a woman nothing but uncertainty and dread and grief even those are better than nothing at all you know dooley how awful nothing can be emptiness time going on oh I 1 know im talking like an idiot I 1 told you I 1 any shame at all dooley I 1 want to go down to the field pretty soon I 1 want some new knockout clothes and one of those feather hair cuts and to have my eyebrows touched up why did I 1 have to get these ferocious brows dooley when yours are so delicate youre a mcfarlane too there were dark lanes and red lanes I 1 got a little from both strains your lather father was almost a blond his eyes were blue blue eyes would be horrible with my hair I 1 could see ric if I 1 went down to the field dooley that is if he shipped out somewhere he wont get a furlough you know tor for ages do you think you really want to go jill you know there Is such a thing as being too eager oh dooley they burled buried all that stuff with augusta J evans A nice girl would stick quietly at home to be wooed and won but try sticking and see what it gets you how beautifully youre stuck I 1 have to see spang again before they send him off to africa or some other hideous spot or ill curl up and die and I 1 an inhibition in the world but I 1 do have sense nobody knows what a tool fool I 1 am but you dooley youve been through this waiting business you know how it hurts jill offers A suggestion yes I 1 know julia took the empty glass pushed aills damp hair back and patted her casually by the way dave just telephoned he has bought a new saddle mare and he thought you to it try her out sunday hes going to bring her over did you enlist dave to divert my mind dooley dont you know that I 1 bore dave stiff please give me credit tor for a little sense jill I 1 discussed your personal affairs with dave and I 1 dont like riding I 1 cant risk being lame and stiff with all I 1 have to do here why dont you tall fall in love with dave she asked abruptly it would simplify everything julias face changed paled and grew taut what a ridiculous suggestion gesti ont she said stiffly ridiculous about it daves been in love with you for centuries dont tell me you know it you must be blind even grandfather suspects it I 1 observe his sly look whenever dave comes around he likes dave hed be terribly pleased I 1 think julias frozen expression did not change except that pain crept into her face darkening her eyes making her mouth a wan line dave Is a gentleman she said evenly he would not tall fail in love with another mans man 11 wife jill puckered her brows but dooley twenty five years just because grandfather find any grave when he went over there maybe my father is the unknown soldier when you took us to W washington I 1 pretended that he was lying there I 1 felt beautiful about it it could be true you know we wont talk about it any more said julia severely and please put ideas like that out of your bead TO BE CONTINUED |