Show I II I o y yI I F FI I Y ui I Not Notes of a Newspaperman I Peter Donald forwards the story Jabout about three GIs just back from overseas overseas overseas over over- seas who went into the automat and found found that the only available table Iwas was one that was occupied by a i spinsterish female Wanting privacy they decided to sit down hoping by means of conversation tc make her finish up and leave in a hurry The first GI said Boy j life ilife overseas sure was tough 1 didn't have a bath in eight months Think that's bad said the sec sec- ond I III couldn't even wash my hands in four weeks I We were so busy the third added added add add- ed I III couldn't change my underwear underwear under- under I wear in five months At that point the old gal looked up and said Would one of you stinkers mind passing the salt I The government has stopped horse borse I racing in America We Ve wish it were as easy to stop Americas America's Trojan horses An American citizen of German German German Ger Ger- man ancestry was walking down Powell Street in San Francisco when he was stopped by a soldier soldier soldier sol sol- sol sol- dier who asked Can you yon tell me the way to Chinatown lIe He replied Yes of course itis it itis itis is two blocks over and and two blocks to the left but you dont don't want to go there because you are a Jap The soldier replied replied replied re re- re- re plied And Aud you are a German The citizen said How now did you know The soldier replied I HI know because Ive I've killed a lot of them the last two months in Italy and Im I'm on my way home to Seattle The citizen of German ancestry looked at the uniform of the soldier soldier soldier sol sol- sol sol- dier and saw on it a Presidential citation the Purple Heart and a afew afew afew few other campaign ribbons Telling this story about himself himself himself him him- self he said Boy was I embarrassed embarrassed embarrassed em em- The soldier was of Japanese ancestry and a member member member mem mem- ber of the famous Infantry Battalion Edward who is certainly certain certain- certain I ly the most modest and democratic I 1 of our Secretaries of State used to visit the Broadway night clubs occasionally occasionally occasionally occa- occa a few years ago One night he went into the old Paradise with witha 1 I Ia a male companion Headwaiter Headwaiter Albert Berryman scanned them with an appraising and unrecognizing eye Hello Albert said Stettin Stettin- ius dont you remember me Oh yes fibbed Albert trying 1 to place the man as he showed him II to a too none-too-good table The part I like is that who was then only chairman of U.S. U.S. U.S. U. U I S. S Steel knew headwaiter Albert but Albert didn't know him I Ernest Hemingway went to Chicago Chicago Chicago Chi Chi- cago years ago after working in Kansas City He had lived in Oak OakPark OakPark OakPark Park Ill and was an old schoolmate schoolmate schoolmate school school- mate of Ted Tod's now working for Warners' Warners At the time Tod Tad was working for the Chicago Herald Ex as a reporter and Hemingway Heming Heming- way hoped Tod would try to I Heming-I get him hima a job on the paper Tod went in into into into to speak to Frank Carson the city editor He told him all about Hemingway Hem Hem- what what a good writer he was He said He hasn't worked in Chicago but he knows it knows names etc Carson looked up II and ho Does he know any Chicago coppers No said said Tod Tad Well I dont don't care how good a writer he is replied Carson Our reporters have to know the Chicago coppers So Hemingway Heming Heming- Hemingway way didn't get the job Instead he went to Canada worked Canada worked on a Toronto Toronto Toronto To To- paper and from there started his climb If it hadn't been for his not knowing knowing knowing know know- ing any any Chicago policemen Hemingway Heming Heming- way might still be working on the Chicago paper All this talk of what to do with Germany Germany and and of course it is more than talk it is a grave great problem reminds problem reminds me of this tale An apostle of conciliation once asked the late Georges Clemenceau if his hatred of the Germans was based on knowledge Have Rave you ever been to Germany he in in- in No Monsieur replied the Tiger I have not been to Ger Ger- many But twice in my lifetime the Germans have been to France This isn't as good as the WestInghouse West Im I'm Im I'm gag gag but but t its it's going the rounds among th the e te icky set set and and makes me ick Were broom We sweep together Dust us two It happened at an army training camp reports Irving Hoffman The sergeant had twenty recruits lined up for fatigue duty They were not as energetic as the sergeant thought they should be So he tried to them cure Ive got a anice anice anice nice easy job for the laziest man present he barked Will the laziest laziest laziest lazi lazi- est man raise his right hand Nineteen men raised their right paws Why dont don't you raise your hand inquired the sergeant of the lad Too much trouble he drawled |