Show PHONE COMPANY SHOULD ELIMINATE But the Company Would Ban Hellos Instead I S WRONG NUMBERS TWITCHELL THINKS THINKS' By H. H I. I PHILLIPS DONT SAY SHY HELLO Dont say hello bello when answering answering an an- the phone Give your name or company name promptly and save time From a telephone company appeal ap ap- ap- ap peal We read it again Dont say hello bello when you answer t the h e ephone phone it said clearly It wastes time It seemed revolutionary but reasonable After all why not 1 operate co-operate with the company So Sowe Sowe Sowe we sat down and awaited a phone call 0 o oIt It Is st strange ange how long one has to wait for or the phone to ring when one Is not busy If we had been absorbed In a book tied up in a conference trying to find a rhyme or busy at reassembling a Swiss watch there would have been a call every 10 seconds But now silence Nobody wanted to talk t. to us But ut we are arc not easily defeated We Wo called up a Dudley Dudley Dud Dud- ley Icy Zeek at random out of the book and hurriedly left word with his secretary to phone us 0 o Presently our phone rang We leaped to it and announced our name with no waste of time Elmer Twitchell we said There was no answer We jiggled the hook and insisted on getting the connection Central finally asked Who called you What difference difference difference differ differ- ence does it make we asked We will take a call from any any- body Presently s she h e reconnected reconnected con re us Elmer Twitchell Twitchell- we repeated firmly There is no Elbert P. P Twitchell Twitch Twitch- ell here You have the wrong num num- ber No I Listen the female female fe Ic- This is not Twitchell male voice insisted Of course not we explained How could it be Hello the voice said And OlAnd youre you're not supposed to say hello we put in Hello Who do you want Hello You must have the wrong number Hello Stop slipping in all of those hellos hellos hellos hel- hel los we yelled you heard about them 0 o Here a male voice put in Hello it said Are Axe you trying trying trying try try- ing to get me No uNo youre you're trying to get me we said Who are you Hello the voice repeated Elmer Twitchell You are Dudley Dudley Dudley Dud Dud- ley Zeek arent aren't you Who Vho Dudley Zeek No uNo came the answer This is the Economy Pastrami Factory Amos Finch speaking Are you trying to get Elmer Twitchell No uNo My secretary has been trying trying trying try try- ing to get the city hall ball What're you doing on the line Hello There must be a Hello Hello It was too much We h up and fell CeIl wilted Into a After a while the pho hone chair The wife wiCe answered It r. r 1 Zeek a Dudley on the Wire fl B says you left word for lor call tt Just say hello to hint him t four or five times We Wa V eluded bitterly 0 Th This it Jr the season muggy IV When hen parents do their best j. j To send their kids to summer camps campsAs camps camps- As parents need a rest res i 0 Hi Saw Saw a sign in the c co Ca Cattle Ule Crossing 35 miles mileT hour That's too fast for p arto any ar- t c to move in modern McElroy HI r United Stat States Deficit g 93 lion a Day Day Headline Aw they cant can't be trying I J JAw 0 Russia has paid three al lion dollars out in Iii bonuses t. t mothers of babies Moscow an as i We await the claim that Russia originated the theof Wei idu- of motherhood i 0 J. J With every restaurant in R closed we understand bin of divorce applicants wiped t fr their suits the complaint that wife's cooking constituted in able cruelty vi vio 0 o I i We trust that the illness of ot B by Clark great comedian 1 is ial lal and that above all the docta will never make him give o cigars n 0 o GOTHAM M BUGLE BUGL BANNER ft Cole Porter has indorsed a b be Kiss Me Keg AU All t H munitions stocks have been str suO since Olsen Johnson returned Ye ed watched the pair on vidi vid vi viand and got powder burns I Ivey Havey Ha vey is being played in Wales with a Welsh rabbit of course We know a fellow who is going reverse the routine and appeal I case from the supreme court the lower tribunals They i ito s sto see seeto to think clearer down th the |