Show r STAhLE fo By LARRY STAHLE A confirmed optimist is a fellow who gets gels married at age 93 and buys a house near neara a school I was once in a gas station in Bountiful when I was a little shaver yes they had automobiles automobiles automo automo- biles bUes then and heard a loud conversation between the at attendant attendant attendant at- at and one of his female customers The attendant said that women women women wom wom- en were always causing him problems and that men would be much better belter off arc if there was no such thing as woman To which the female customer customer customer cus cus- tomer agreed There would not be an any men then Wow would we women be better off of When I was growing up many of oC my peer group would ask me why I never had a Mother They were simply trying to find out where I was hatched Then I know that there have been days that my Mother has wondered where she found me and has been puzzled why she ever brought me home I am not the only one who shares this plight nor ismy Ismy is ismy my Mother the only one who has ever wondered what she did to deserve the punishment of having a son like me I know that I have often wondered wondered wondered won won- dered how I was so lucky to be one of the upper crust who was blessed with a good Mother She Is not very tall in a physical physical phy phy- steal sense but she is a giant when it comes conies to being a Mom I am sure that you all feel that way about the one who brought you into this world at least I hope that you love her dearly and if she Is still living on this earth that you won wont won't t miss the chance to see her or call her and tell her how much you appreciate what she has dono done for tor you Dont Don't limit this expression of love to Just next Sunday Why not shock her and do it frequently Patience is the ability to Idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears Next Sunday after you have trotted over to your Moms Mom's and bombarded her with your multitude of love and 1 gift why not demonstrate to the world that you truly are the G Good od Samaritan show them t that at you can swallow any medicine medicine medicine medi medi- cine and still sUIl come up full of at love You can become top dog with one of at the most neglected segments segments segments seg seg- ments of our society You can show the world that you dont don't go along with all this fun and multitude of jokes that are penned penned penned pen pen- ned about this individual There Is s a definite procedure to follow in showing your love and appreciation for this underprivileged underprivileged under under- privileged soul You must fol follow follow follow fol- fol low the following steps First go to this persons person's house Strut up to the front door so that all the neighbors will be able to identify identity you Give the doorbell a sharp jab and then wait patiently for an answer Hopefully the victim will answer an answer answer an- an the door and have the courage courage courage cour cour- age to invite you Inside Once there you set the following chain of events In motion You casually overto overto over overto to the window and open the drapes and curtains to let in some sunlight After all she has lived in the monastery you OU built for her long enough Next you ask her to come over to the window and ask her to look at atthe atthe atthe the outside world Then you turn toward her and tell her that In spite of oC her faults that she can now be forgiven forgiven forgiven for for- given when you get to the dramatic part you could take hold of her hand and stare straight into her eyes When you get to the punch line perhaps to soften the blow you should give her a little peck on the cheek as you break the news to her that al although although although al- al though she is your mother-in- mother law you love her and appreciate appreciate apprecIate the fine ine wife she reared for you The last item of the agenda is after you break this news to her you should dash to the telephone telephone telephone tele tele- phone and send for the ambulance ambulance ambulance lance I have a great love and respect respect re respect re- re for tor both bolh my Mother and mv my Mother in |