Show STAhLE ST A By LARRY STAHLE One of oC our faithful subscrIbers subscribers subscribers sub sub- scribers submitted the fol following following following fol- fol lowing When a man owns one dog he can be said to begetting begetting be begetting getting along well When he owns two dogs he Isn't doIng doing doing do- do Ing so well but when he possesses possesses possesses pos pos- three or more it Isa is isa isa a sure sign that he Is poor Years ago the bobby sox set used to croon a tune entitled I Z 1 Wish I Was Kids are always pretending and making wishes for things they would like to do or and/or objects they would like to be turned Into I am playing the same game this week but it is entitled things that I am glad that I am not This object has a rough time from the first moment that its roots are shoved into the earth or it sprouts Its gay-colored gay blossom Often it Is subjected to icy spring blasts before It is able to make any headway But it Is usually harty enough to withstand withstand withstand with with- stand most of the pressures exerted against It After it sprouts and gets go going going going go- go ing it is faced with weekly and then hot parched days under the sun There is very little shade for it to hide under One of ot the worst problems it has to face is little crawling insects which hang around most of the day licking their chops as they view our little friends friend's slow progress But help Is often In store when you are doused with some smelling foul-smelling powder or liquid which would scare anyone away You know that when anyone Is willing to go to all the trouble that has been encountered to bring you Into your present state you must be needed so you lift your weary head toward the blazing sky and grow When you reach maturity you are seized by a firm irm hand which separates you from your se security security security se- se symbol your lifeline You usually undergo a good bath in the next day or so after which you are stripped of your skin and dropped Into a Jar or carton Those making their way Into the glass world soon find ind themselves themselves themselves them them- selves in hot water after which they find it difficult to breathe and many of them feel that they are existing in a vacuum The other portion that avoided the glass Jars are in for an equally bad time Ume as a big lid lidIs lidis lidis is clamped over the top of the container and the whole world become very dark Shortly after the lights are turned out things start to get cold They find themselves yearning for the heat of ot the blazing sun If you avoid one of these two pitfalls you may be faced by a large black cave trimmed trimmed trimmed trim trim- med with white icicles When you enter the cave you are Immediately drenched with a liquid and are tossed to and fro being crushed and ground up by the white you start a long plunge downward downward downward down down- ward only to be treated roughly rough rough- ly when you reach your final destination You have probably guessed by now that the object that I dont don't particularly care to become be become become be- be come is some of our garden vegetables and fruits But after scanning the life of ot a pear or carrot I am surprised how much their problems problems problems lems parallel those of human beings Proud mother exhibiting her baby Hes eating solids now newspapers pencils keys rubber bands spiders and ash trays One of the bugs that plague humans Is on the rampage now in ManU Mantl Ephraim and Sterling only to mention a few The doctors are doing their best to dowse the enemy with foul smelling powders and liquids liquids but the enemy is still sUll spreading its poison The vU villian 11 an at the present time Is a hearty fellow known as Frank the Flu Germ He just wont won't say quit The results of his powers can be seen by scanning the roll books at our local schools or driving past the doctors doctor's of ot- ot fice The ManU Mantl High School notes that at least 20 to 25 students have been absent each day due to the pesky Frank Over at the Ephraim Elementary Elementary Elementary Ele Ele- and Junior the toll has been equally heavy with students absent on Monday and 95 gone on Tues Tues- day The teachers are even proving that they are human because Frank has leveled nine I or ten of the professors proCessors One of ot the principals noted that more of ot the teachers should be sent home but no replacements replacements replacements replace replace- ments are available The attendance figures at the Mantl Manti Elementary School have also dipped this week On Monday Monday Monday Mon Mon- day there were 50 absent Thirteen Thirteen Thirteen Thir Thir- teen of ot the disabled returned to class on Tuesday with only 37 counted as missing The older set are well represented represented represented rep rep- resented at the doctors doctor's office there is usually a mild mUd traffic jam and ensuing battle for parking places around all of the doctors doctor's offices in the area Beware of Frank Please be quiet cautioned cautioned cautioned cau cau- the librarian The rhe people near you cant can't read They cant can't said the surprised surprised sur sur- little boy Ive been reading since I was six |