Show ONCE OVER I Diogenes Turns In His Lantern By H. H I. I Phillips I T TS T'S too tough said sadly Im handing in my lan lan- tern this a rather hasty decision decision decision deci deci- sion we asked Dont you think you should reconsider No Im I'm quitting The search for foran foran foran an honest man has never been hard hard- er I thought I had found one the theother theother theother other day but he got away We noticed something fuzzy on his sandals What is it we asked Mink he said sadly It gets Into everything these days I just dashed off oU a little verse about it it Here Diogenes read Think of me mc a little mink Wondering what people think Lately I dont don't sleep a wink Knowing I may be a link Putting someone in the clink I Sort of ot shows what a mink may think he went on Oh well wen as I Isaid Isaid Isaid said Im I'm through anyhow S S Arent you too cynical we asked There are plenty of honest men around Oh yeah said Diogenes Get yourself a i lantern and see how you like it I will advise th that If I would settle for something less and make a compromise I could get some some- where Something less we asked Yes Theres There's the nearly bonest honest honest hon bon est mau maii the almost nearly bonest honest honest hon bon est man the possibly almost nearly honest man and the pos- pos sible nearly pro- pro you vided too many- many questions type You Yon find em everywhere these days in all walks of life and on every level I 1 suppose it really is hard to find somebody who hasn't taken bribes or accepted favors we agreed Oh I dont don't bother too much with them said Diogenes They re the great minority Its It's the bribe ers the tribute payers the fixers connivers g get get- you wholesale e t boys who need attention For every everyman everyman everyman man who takes a bribe there are thousands ready to pay it which Is the sad part S SS Theres at least one gravy distributor dis din influence hunter a and n d general contaminator in every neighborhood we said Youre being conservative Uve declared Diogenes The real termites In American life are the fellows always ready to use money a and n d connections to grease their way out of f some some- thing How many people do you know who wouldn't play ball with a tax agent attend a testimonIal testimonial dinner to a slick politician clan cian not noted for honesty vote for a phony put over a fast one play a sure thing in a fixed horse borse r race ace a c e or basketball game Oh there must be millions we said Do you say there is more dishonesty today than there ever was Diogenes was obviously washed up and discouraged He needed en en- Listen we said What you need is a new lantern I know a fellow who can get one for tor you with 40 per cent off oU and and That's all we remember Diogenes had slugged us with his old lantern and fled led the scene S S S missed the 1513 I daily dally double at Providence on Deep Down and Big Dance And the night before the race he be attended a party w where ere he tried the Charleston and fell through a n trap trap- door He also missed which paid fifty to one at Bowie Bowle Just before the race I asked a guy why he never gave me anything good and he said call me up I |