| Show KA KATHLEEN NORRIS Remorse Is s Expensive Luxury T T AM A SINNER I have done I 1 I the thing that is unforgivable in a wife No words can paint the shame and self contempt I feel or what I am suffering with remorse If tearing myself to pieces would wipe out the tho events of the past two years I would gladly tear myself myself myself my my- self to pieces This is a quotation from a letter that lies here on my desk The writer signs only Heartbroken Sinner Therefore she must expect this open answer and I am glad to tomake tomake tomake make it it because her situation is not an entirely unusual one one and other women women still still safe within the bounds of honor and self respect may profit by it in time Our affair all the more in in- u. u was the tile letter goes on on because because because be cause our families were old friends my husband and his wife sharing a daily dally coming and going with us without ever suspecting that we had many secret meetings On two occasions we were away from home for a few nights without causing comment Fred claiming business I supposedly with my aunt Then uThen came his long illness due to when I shared snared with his wife wite some of the sickroom sick care At this time my eyes opened suddenly to the truth that he is an ordinary man with no unusual gifts and also to the horror of my own position Since his convalescence we have made no allusion to our affair and have avoided ever being being be- be ing big alone Knows No Peace That was almost a year ago Since that time I may truly say I have never had one moments moment's peace of mind or soul The shame and self contempt that I feel awaken me at night and are with me all day Fred has one child a boy of 20 I have three beautiful daughters t k If more mor closely united Toe ne mat mai i 1 may nave someday someday someday some some- day to reveal to them what will change their whole attitude toward life Ute drives me nearly mad Strangely enough as our girls grow up my husband and I grow more closely united My feeling for him is now one of admiration companionship companionship com com- interest We plan together together to to- gether together we make the Uttie little little lit Ut- tle tie trips we always hoped to take That hat I ever compared him disparagingly disparagingly dis dis- dis to another man and betrayed betrayed betrayed be be- his honor is an unbearable thought The urge to fling myself upon my husbands husband's charity is so strong that I find myself walking the floor in a nervous misery try try- ing lag to control it But that would mean that we lose our oldest friends that tha t my girls suffer a part of ot my shame and possibly the misery of a divorce I have spent hours on my knees I beg you to take this to God before before before be be- fore you assume the responsibility of answering me At 37 37 have I destroyed destroyed destroyed de de- de- de all chance of ot happiness in my We life No of ot course you haven haven't Is my answer And this urge to confess is just one last little flick nIck of the passion one last chance to relish the whole thing over again One More Thrill You were weak and you chose a very ugly way to indulge that hunger that marks the end of youth The hunger for just one more grand sex thrill that comes to a woman somewhere in the thirties a delight in finding herself herself hersell her her- self sell desirable still still capable of love secrets stolen kisses intoxicating eating cating flatteries Flatteries That of course is the base of all these pitiful love affairs flattery is what stirs the blood flattery flat flat- tery tory fills the eloquent little notes flattery breathes through every whisper and every kiss And how the neighbors neighbor's wife loves it after the quiet duty and routine of her housekeeping days To my disturbed correspondent I say there are many other infidelities infidelities infidelities in in- fidelities in lii marriage beside the actual physical betrayal Put this mistake behind you once and for all Never dream of disturbing the four contented lives so close to your own with the exhibitionism ofa oi of oia a confession It would be pleasant to you to let them know that you won her husband but not fair It wouldn't last The Thc wreckage wreckage wreck age of your neighbors neighbor's life that of ol her husband and son your husbands husbands husband's husbands husband's hus bands band's life your young daughters faith and love would be too wholesale wholesale whole whole- sale a slaughter There'd be no way out for anyone and the young persons persons per per- sons would be scarred for life So your only course is the heroic one of living from now on entirely for others Devote yourself to your husband the girls the home the table the sick neighbor the neglected neglected neg neg- children down the block the nearest hospital wards |
