Show i tI t Speaking 0 of r tr Strikes s t S S Y 0 y By Dy RING LARDNER tH N H H N N 1 N N H N N N N N N H N N N N To the Editor I 1 made the tho remark the tho other day that I wished I was in some sort of ofa ofu a u strike e and the tho madam said well why dont don't you ou get Into one and I Isaid Isaid said suld how can cnn I I strike e when I haven't got no job jab answer me that which for once she would not Well WeH afterwards I got to thinking It over o and f finely nel I seen u a way to get Into the game that was by organizing a u husbands union and demanding ft It fair trial for the married men I Ital tal talked ed it over with a couple other husbands whom Im I'm Im I'm on friendly turns with them and we set down and figured fig fig- out a set of demands which will trill first be gave to other husbands for their O. O I K and then presented to the wives In the shape shave of a ul which If each ench and md every ery denand demand demand de de- mand nand Is not granted the married men will walk wall out on them the day before before be be- fore Xmas and und leave lea e them to e explain plain to the kids why Santa didn't show up The demands as ns mailed out Is as follows 1 A 20 hour Day and a 6 Day Week Un Under er the present s system stem the husband husband hus hus- band Is on the Job the whole 24 hrs of ot the whole 7 da days s 's and en C even while he lie la is asleep he cant can't dream nothing that dont don't remind him of ot It The husband wants the hrs between 8 and 12 every ery night for rest and recreation rec ree- and Sundays to for tor meditation and prayer er some some- wheres away from the home 2 The Closed Mouth Th The wn way It Is now you dont don't know sooner get In the house when the owner wants to know where you ou was The husband wants the right t to not I answer 3 A Increase of at Least 50 Per Cent In Pocket Money The owners Is getting bigger allowances al allowances nl- nl than ever er before but the husbands Is still supposed to go along on the old scale though It costs 3 and 5 times as ns much to mingle around and where a person lOrson used to be able to get paral paralyzed zed on 10 It now takes 25 23 and 30 to even en feel like you wanted to hear the Rosary 4 Collective Marketing In 11 rare cases the owner consults the husband as to what would he like for dinner but they generally generall always always al nl al- al wa ways s 's wait Vait until Just after aHel breakfast when the bare mention of food stuffs stutTs rubs the fur the wrong Tong way and even eyen when a husband can remember 1 of ot othIs hIs bis favorite dishes at fit that hr In the morning and mentions It out loud why he has his trouble for Cor his pains you might say as ns the matter will either be forgotten and hushed up before nightfall or else they tried to get It but the than man at the store advised them to pass it up as it was libel to tobe tobe tobe be a little at nt this time of yr or something In regards to Demand 4 while rl II I dont don't ont like 0 to drag dras in personalities however I 1 feel strained to say that I have been a husband for better or worse than S 8 yrs IS and have ha never I Kept ept it a secret from the owner that m my 2 favorite viands elands was oyster cream stew stew and doughnuts and yet during the entire eight Years Warthe Warthe War Var the no of messes of of doughnuts In our home has hns har hardly ly ran Into double figures of 1 thumb In the case of the doughnuts It is generally alwn always s 's broughten up that lard Imd Is too expensive expensive sive for or doughnuts dont don't set good on the kids Ids or the owner dont don't know If lola Iula can make them or not and ancI they dont don't seem to be no way of finding out out- and If you ou get them from the bakery you oU dont don't know what Is In them though I dont don't give gi a darn as ns long as the they taste greasy and fill you ou up As far as o oysters Is conserved theys they's a n version In the Psalms that says sars dont don't cat eat them theta only In months which is spelt with a r I and though It goes goesS goes'S vs S the grain for a man to speak of their shortcomings suffices to say that the theyo D many a anice anice anice nice girl that was born a bad speller and Just as many that cant can't bear the looks s of a calendar around the house so for all as they know o oysters stero may maybe maybe maybe be at their zenith In Jul July Instead ol of olvice vice versa 5 The Abolition of the Birthday The normal husband has aa as many ny birthdays per annum an as the owner I j but where as the husband Is IB expected I Ito I to remember the 10 lOot of July or what I ever er it Is and spend the equal of half halt i iu a u yrs rs gold dues where as aa en es the other other other oth- oth j f er hand the owner If they dont don't forget forget forget for- for j 1 get the 0 6 of March entirely why they I bu buy you a book that until you have I read It through you ou can set Bet around evenings and pare your finger nails i is j i That Is the demands Il aa as they will be presented to the owners a aa 81 s a aas Soon Boon oon I as the husbands can cnn get organized and I hope dear editor that you are aren are In In n sympathy with thIs this movement movement and will urge all nil the Ule husbands on your I staff as those amongst your our subscribers ers to at once join the Amalgamated i Married Harried Men Ien of ot America and put pelt a u end to the humiliations to which a member of the servile sect becomes becomes' t ta a party to the minute they are drug dlug up to the alter niter and if It a n walk walh out Is necessary on the date chose which Is Xmas eve why 1 I hopE the owners will see the light and bow to the Inevitable and und not try and continue In business with a gang of scabs I A by tho the Den Dell Syndicate Inc |