Show I Kathleen Norris Says The Modern Stepmother Problem Dell Bell Syndicate Features I I pests i 0 0 I J v Y L ly 1 b I e I III li y J 5 I Yesterdays cr event was Carols Carol's teasing her cr father to send Mommy a fur coat She said she the would give me tIlt tho prettiest doll in Watsons Watson's if you oU would give her a fur Jiff coat coat By KATHLEEN NORRIS T SUPPOSE I am just one I I more confidential secretary secretary secretary secre- secre tary who pitied a lonely and misunderstood man writes Alice Carter from Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo falo but it didn't seem that way three years ago when Fred and I J were m married His wife was entirely willing to divorce him trim and hand over to him full custody of their year three-year-old daughter Carol Freds Fred's and my mylove mylove love was the only thing in my Life that mattered but I adored the child for his sake and inI indeed indeed in in- I deed until recently when she has las been getting somewhat out of hand Carol was as sweet a baby aaby as I ever saw She is very pretty and her mother who has hasher hasher hasler her ler every other week-end week when she is anywhere near spoils her She has consulted Hollywood talent scouts about Carol and got Carol Carola a permanent when she was only five years old which annoyed Fred and me who want to keep her childlike But these things arent aren't the lem What is is that Arlene systematically systematically systematically goes about undermining my influence with Carol She tells her tier that I am no more to her than to any other little girl at school and that when my own baby comes I will not care for Carol any more She says not to ask me what she may do or not do but to wait wait until until Daddy comes home Confused Child Is Impudent Carol is becoming confused by byall byall byall all this and with a child that means impudent and unmanageable A few days ago she said to me Mommy says you like money She says you would never have married Daddy except for his money She asked me if Daddy had his face lifted before before before be be- fore he married you The commonness of this sort of thing distresses me as a's does also the fact that Arlene takes Carol ofTon off ofT on rather peculiar week-end week visits to various clubs and mountain cab cab- ins Carol at six naturally notices nothing amiss but the time is coming coming coming com com- ing when she will Yesterdays Yesterday's event was Carols Carol's teasing her father to send Mommy a fur coat She said she would give me the prettiest dollin dollin doll dollin in in Watsons Watson's if you would give her a afur afur afur fur coat I dont don't know Alices Alice's I letter goes goeson on whether this seems actually pernicious to you but it does to me The constant nervous pressure on the child is certainly bad for her the divided allegiance the unfair appeal to her little sympathies all upset her normal relationship with her father and me If Arlene would only marry again things would be better but she is one of scores of women who prefer freedom and a generous alimony to domestic re re- re- re Now she has written to ask Fred to lunch with her to talk about our small girls girl's welfare Perhaps I am bitter but it doesn't seem to tome tome tome me that that welfare has concerned her much up to this point But Fred is ra rather ther touched by her interest in in- in- in terest Lots of charm in Arlene he said at breakfast I have had full care of Carol for more than three years her baths and naps dressing and exercise school and clothes days in bed with colds gym and doctor and dentist Partly because because because be be- cause of Arlenes Arlene's alimony I have never had a nurse for her We have sacrificed many an evening engagement engagement engage engage- ment because our only servant is an anold anold anold old oriental and not quite suitable as a nurse for a small girl Now her mother resumes interest interest interest inter inter- est and is annoying and upsetting me the as ns only a clever and malicious CHILDREN COME FIRST The welfare and progress o of f their children should be the first consideration o of f all parents Usually this is the case The exception exception exception ex ex- is presented this week in the story o of f a mother who is upsetting her childs child's personality by cruel and spiteful actions against her former husband and his second wife She had divorced divorced di di- the man marl and turned full custody of their child hild to him when the child was three years old But now three years ears later she site is systematically undermining ing the childs child's confidence in the second wife and the father The stepmother asks Kathleen Norris Norris' Nor- Nor Norris Norris' Norris Norris' ris' ris advice on orl how to stop this dangerous menace to the childs child's well well being woman can Can you suggest anyway any anyway anyway way by which we can settle this Arlene lives in a n town 12 miles away so that she and the child would not meet ordinarily Child Must Have One Guardian Alice this is just one more variation variation varia varia- tion and a not uncommon uncommon one of the wife second-wife pro problem lem My RIy only suggestion would be that you have a talk with Fred about it and insist either that Carol go to her mother to stay which I can assure you in advance advance advance ad ad- vance wouldn't be Arlenes Arlene's idea atall at atall atall all or that she be handed over entirely entirely entirely en en- to you and her father Fred is 42 Alice just 20 years younger But even women much older than Alice often become dazzled dazzled dazzled daz daz- by the prospect of a happy marriage marriage marriage mar mar- and pay small attention to the settlements and promises that precede it Now she finds herself fretted on three counts Freds Fred's reawakened reawakened reawakened re re- awakened interest in Arlene Carols Carol's Carols Carol's Carols Carol's Car Car- ol's growing independence and rudeness rudeness rudeness rude rude- ness and Arlenes Arlene's machinations to destroy her domestic peace Fred might well spike Arlenes Arlene's guns at this proposed luncheon by telling his former wife that there is to be a new baby at his house that Carol is growing somewhat unmanageable unmanageable unmanageable un un- manageable and that he would be glad to turn the child over to her completely He would be perfectly safe in doing this especially if he suggested that Arlenes Arlene's alimony would be expected to cover the childs child's expenses If Arlene begged off this tIns responsibility as she would do he might then decree that the week-ends week must stop explaining that they are growing demoralizing to the child Since Arlene abandoned her baby at the age of two years and preferred preferred preferred pre pre- to take her own way she certainly certainly certainly will not want the responsibility ty of a year six-year-old now It is an exacting age There are arc considerations considerations considerations of school lessons clothes gym dentist health parties friends Arlene might try it briefly But II I she would inevitably turn toward a school boarding-school and because boarding boarding boarding board board- ing schools are arc expensive that would mean that the child was once more restored to her father and step step- mother There is a n hint in Alices Alice's letter that Arlene may be an unfit guardian for a n small daughter and if that is is true she will be all the less willing to have a witness to her affairs rs Parents Must Mist Consider Child First Children ought to be the first consideration consideration con con- in the life of all fathers and mothers Many a n woman if she knew the irreparable injury that quarrels separations and legal questions questions questions ques ques- would do to the growing minds and hearts and souls of her children would adapt herself more heroically and self to the home conditions she has thought insufferable able Ml I I |