Show Kathleen Norris Says W Womans Woman's s Unseen Power Brightens Lives Bell Syndicate Service tt a c R N y i lY n S 1 d t t r Ott hT J JA Ji i I A good mother has the secret of making herself invisible But the husband who pays little attention to her presence the son who occasionally hits her temple with witha a hard hard cheeked cheeked kiss how kiss how often do they think o oj what she is iJ instead of what she does By KATHLEEN NORRIS HEN you were a small W WHEN child and read fairytales fairytales fairytales fairy fairy- tales wasn't the most fascinating situation of all the theone theone theone one in which the prince or princess princess princess prin prin- cess could become invisible at atwill atwill atwill will To be able to take part to listen to see everything that was going on and yet to be unseen unseen unseen un un- un- un seen oneself how intoxicating that prospect was There were Y vears ears in mv my young voun life when I fe- fe fet felt t- t th that f if if- if a wrinkled r crooked old fairy suddenly did present herself to me to offer me just one fulfilled wish that wish inevitably inevitably inevitably in in- must be for the power to make myself invisible Years afterward I learned that it itis itis itis is always possible to enjoy that particular particular particular par par- fairy gift but to find the fairy one must walk through lonely and sorrowful ways and pay the fairy's price of humiliations and sorrows and tears Humiliations and sorrows and tears these are such wholesome medicines for us all such strengthening strengthening strengthening strength strength- ening teachers such means of grace I wonder why we all dread and avoid them so strenuously The only worthwhile women in the world are the women who have had long acquaintance with them But that is an aside To get back to the fairy gift of invisibility any woman can have it if she loves those around her so much that their safety and comfort are her delight and she is willing to be in influence the unseen power in the background of their lives that makes everything smooth and bright Her Magic Unseen Good mothers have the secret of making themselves invisible Sometimes Sometimes Sometimes Some Some- times for years at a time the gentle kindly capable ingenious tireless loving woman who is at the head of a family keeps herself and her magic completely unseen Perhaps there is not too much money in the family perhaps there are girls and boys of different tastes tastes' and ages a chronically weary and nervous man an older person Grandma or Grandpa or Aunt Sally a temperamental assistant in the kitchen or no helper at all All AIl these natures and elements are welded together by Mother but nobody knows it because Mother is invisible What the family sees and feels and enjoys are the smoothly smooth smooth- ly made beds upon which slips and sheets change themselves by unseen unseen unseen un un- seen means the prettily set table with the marigolds or daisies in the glass bowl the hot soup ready ready- cream of pea soup for everyone except Jane who gets her clear soup every night Newspapers are on hand when they are new and disappear when they are old telephone messages are delivered Tom and Mimsy are helped with homework sent off to the movies on Saturday with the requisite dimes for sodas Jane of course may have the living room for her gang Sunday night Annie Anniemay Anniemay Anniemay may have a day off to go see her sisters sister's baby Dads Dad's mother must have a fresh pot of tea taken way upstairs to her room Of course she's there all the time right before their eyes and of course anyone who looked right at ather ather her would sec see her comfortably stout in her fifties getting gray liking sur- sur to finish the crossword puzzles when the children abandon them half-done half insisting on rubbers HER OWN CHOICE How Mow often do you think about the comfort of that hat invisible someone who always manages to have dinner ready on time to remember that you dont don't cat eat this and cant can't wear that to sharpen your pencils find your our rubbers and entertain your unexpected guests She may be invisible going about her work with no thought o of f reward for her gen gen- patience and love It is isher isher isher her own choice to remain in the background But it should be your choice chice to remember the wife or mother who makes your home a pl pleasant place I opposed to the banging of doors and peerless in the arrangement of a tray for the sick the adjustment of a hot water bottle the pressing of a shirtwaist Chooses to Be Invisible But how much do they really see her this husband who pays so little attention to her actual presence but swears and shouts and feels martyred martyred martyred mar mar- if she happens to be absent for an undue undue hour or two These sons and daughters who occasionally occasionally occasionally occasion occasion- ally hit her temple with a a hard- hard cheeked kiss or feed her very soul with a shouted Thanks Mom youre you're a peach This grumpy old man or fussy old woman who blinks at her with dissatisfied daily questions questions ques ques- Mollie you arent aren't giving that girl another half-day half o off are you This aint the same tea is it Whatever's Whatever's Whatever's What- What evers ever's become of that little piller I had for my back What possessed those children to carry on that way last night How often do they look at Mollie and think of what she is instead of what she does Not often No she's invisible And the wonderful part of it is that she has deliberately chosen to be invisible to sink her life in theirs to taste for herself the happiness of service a happiness deeper than any they will ever know When women write me despairing letters about their tangled affairs the parents who misunderstood them all through girlhood the first marriage to a man who was totally incapable of appreciating a good wife the second venture with another another another an an- other man who does not understand understand understand under under- stand my little boy and repeatedly favors his own child I wonder whether they know how close clos this magic and mystic power of making oneself invisible is The power to tomake tomake tomake make all these lives happier on their terms not on hers and to find herself a fulfillment and an interior peace of which she hasn't even dreamed The Cause of It All Half the nervous ills of womanhood womanhood womanhood woman woman- hood perhaps more than half come from the miserable inability under which we all suffer to get away from self Nervous breakdowns and morbidity and even more serious troubles stem from just dust this one thing Brooding over mistakes and wrongs resenting injustices and slights sometimes a woman who feels that she has just gener generally lly made a amess mess of everything actually slips over the fine borderline between between between be be- tween normality and insanity and cant can't get back But the invisible woman is in no i such danger There is always someone someone someone some some- one she can serve someone whose life she can make easier someone fo for whom she can plan |