Show 1 f OUR OWN GALLUP POLL ON THE DEFENSE PROGRAM I Question No 1 How I-How How do you f feel el about America being the arsenal for all victims of aggressor nations Yes Yes 46 per cent No 4 per cent Not sure what the word arsenal means 32 per cent Wouldn't mind being an arsenal if it didn't interfere with week-end week motor motor motor mo mo- tor trip 8 per cent Question No What 2 What 2 What do you think of the war short idea Yes 42 per cent Its It's okay with me if its it's okay with I you 12 per cent r All right if the emphasis is put putI on the short 8 per cent Any man who calls what we are doing short of war is a bad judge of distance 30 per cent Question No Do 3 Do 3 Do you think the lag in our defense program is serious serious serious se se- se- se rious Yes and no 35 per cent Undecided 4 per cent Think what America needs most is a lag in microphone 60 per cent Wouldn't know a lag if I saw one 1 per cent Question No Do 4 Do 4 Do you think America is menaced as never before in its history 27 per cent Who am I to argue with the President President President dent 40 per cent Too frightened to answer after listening listening listening lis lis- to the last two messages on the state of the nation 33 per percent cent Are you willing to make any sacrifice sacrifice sacrifice sac sac- Who Vho Me 11 per cent Wait Vait till I ask the missus 12 per cent Yes but I want to be sure all you fellows who are asking me that question in polls like this are not out outplaying outplaying outplaying playing golf 68 per cent Are you in favor of an out all-out war Not too far out 25 per cent I am for an all out war if it doesn't leave us all aU in 75 per cent 0 What do you think of the situation in the Near East Yes Yes 40 per cent No 10 per cent Undecided 30 per cent I tried to find out about it but the wire was busy 20 per cent Mussolini l is so quiet these days that you can hear a general general general gen gen- eral dropped Sonja Henie's husband has been called in the draft but the soldiers would much rather see Sonja in camp FISH STORY It may be old but its it's new to this department The story of two fishermen fishermen fishermen fish fish- ermen returning from a Florida trip Asked if he had had much luck the first fisherman told of landing a pound sailfish first time out What U did you get he asked I III hooked into something and when I pulled up I had a big brass lantern from an American ship sunk back jack in the War Var of 1812 and it was still burning he replied Say said the first fisherman Im a reasonable fellow If you'll blow blowout out that light Ill I'll take pounds off that fish the famous violinist violinist vio- vio inist has been given a Class I rating rating rat- rat ing ng in the draft But a lot of us will wonder why a great violinist is isaken taken aken when the country is so full of f bum fiddlers who ought to be shot Simile by Vincent Lopez as modern modern modern mod mod- ern looking as the hat grandma used to wear FAIR WARNING They say somebody dropped a bomb over Kilkenny the other day from 2000 feet and that a Kilkenny man picked it up threw it back an and destroyed an enemy at feet Elmer Twitchell hopes there is no lag in our fire hose program I III agree with Mr Roosevelt that if a neighbors neighbor's house is on fire the thing to do is to lend him your hose without without without with with- out quibbling And if he asks for a ladder I am arn for handing him one without all the crossbars missing It took a dentist two hours to pull one of Clark Gables Gable's teeth recently We understand that Clark in inquired inquired inquired in- in Wheres U your strength in that good right arm the dentist replied replied replied re re- re- re plied Gone with the windup RESTAURANT MANTo MAN MANTo MANTo To customers he throws a curve His rating isn't high For hes he's the kind of guy who'll serve Six portions to a pie On Hitler's doorplate in his old Munich home he is still listed as an author And he appears to be the only author in history determined to kill off most of his customers Maybe Hitler gets his author idea from the feeling he is one of Europe's Europe's Europe's Eu Eu- ropes rope's best S |