Show i KA KATHLEEN NORRIS Divorce Is a Dreadful Solution WHEN I WAS DIVORCED four years years' ago I was 21 21 writes Hazel Carroll from Austin Texas I I charged Chester with intemperance and mental cruelty and with my decree decree de do- I cree got custody of our son Murray Murray Murray Mur Mur- ray now seven years old But partly part ly because the child was so devoted I to his father I agreed that Chester should have him for the vaca vacation on months giving him to me for winter i schooling I While Chester lived with his mother in town this was all right my own mother lived with me and I shared the care of my lovely boy Both mothers are now dead and I Chester has married a woman raised as he was on a horse farm he has given up his bank job and lives among her relatives all horse raisers He seems devoted to his wife who is six years older than he and a pretty strong character They have two girls Son Is Problem The problem is my son Murray By the present arrangement I have him for tor the difficult time lessons study winter cold and winter amusements To Chester he goes to toa toa toa a boys boy's paradise he loves his little Utile sisters half-sisters he loves every inch of ot the farm He frets trets over my efforts at culture and instructive entertainment entertainment entertainment entertain entertain- ment and cries for all the excitements excitements excite excite- I ments meats of training racers racers certainly certainly not an ideal life Ufe for an impressionable impression impression- able child I I have a fine position in a big i wholesale house and often orten have to tomake tomake tomake make short buying trips At these times I place Murray with my i janitors janitor's wife and twice he has Attempted attempted attempted at At- 1 tempted to run away once being brought home by the police after a terrible night 4 S ei n nI I I ft to 10 run away Chester has asked me for sole custody in a let letter er enclosing one from his wife wi I am sick trying to think out what is best to do and want your advice Should a mother ever give up a small trusting son of seven can anyone else do for him what she can do Ive I've thought of trying to get Chester to shift our times of having Murray he answers answers an an- that he wants him completely complete complete- ly iy except for my weeks vacation vacation vaca vaca- tion if it I want to take kim him to the mountains or shore to his father Murray begs to go but I will not take that too seriously if the present arrangement is best Ill I'll skip the agony the parting would be my only consolation would be that he will feel leel none of it But every mother knows what it means It would take a Solomon t t. answer but I want to know what you think Rare Case This is one of those thos rare cases Hazel when I truly believe that tha this his mother is not the small boys boy's best guardian These circumstances are unusual Apparently your husbands husband's immaturity has ended he has become become become be be- come a responsible person and the life he offers his son is not only wholesome for Murray swept into a abIg abig abig big family group but probably the best check possible on cm Murrays Murray's father too S Life with you Is lopsided now You are yourself extremely young and the care of a small restless boy is confining and anxious In sending Murray to the life he so craves you will win more than you lose You Youcan Youcan Youcan can feel teel comfortable about him for forit forit it is his fathers father's obligation now to tomake tomake tomake make you feel that the sacrifice was a wise one But try to keep the arrangement flexible so that if it next summer you find yourself free for a few weeks of shore or mountains it will be natural for them to grant it and if in a few lew years years and and they go so fast Murray needs more special schooling schooling school school- ing than he can secure out in the horse country he can rejoin you and you can win his friendship all allback allback allback back again on a higher level Life is full of ot these readjustments readjustments readjustments readjust readjust- ments full of these terrible moments moments moments mo mo- ments when we feel that a realistic and generous attitude demands of ofus ofus ofus us the very hardest thing life can offer eUer Anything else we say in our anguished hearts but not this But time has bas a strange way of at altering values It doesn't make our children any less precious but it does teach us when to let them go iO |