Show 0 T about Minding Your Business ANT A MONICA CALIF A A S SANTA 3 society is forming in England England England Eng Eng- land for or the defense of the former Cormer Edward VIII now the duke of Windsor and honorary citizen of all places in this country country country coun coun- try named for the Simpson fam fam- ily This society does docs not hope to restore restore restore re re- store the duke to the throne That would not only annoy annoy annoy an an- noy the archbishop H rr of Canterbury he already al- al al already ready having things to annoy him such as as Americans but r s g would seriously upset upset upset up up- 4 set Mr 1 Stanley Baldwin who upsets so easily that it seems strange the 3 British never have thought of calling him Reversible Stan Irvin S. S Cobb Besides the throne would be quite crowded if the duke duke tried to snuggle in there along with the present occupants What some of us over here think think- and that goes for many Canadians too too too-is is that England has a crying need for a society dedicated to the broad general principle of minding its own business and suffering the duke and his wife to mind theirs We Ve have a rough idea that both of them can better endure long dis tance snubs than officious meddling in their private affairs Just being an king ex-king is a hard enough job- job even if you can get it to do Political Afterthoughts MASTER ASTER ROLLO aged seven and city raised was visiting relatives in the country On his first morning he came in wearing a worried cast of countenance Mother he said Ive been out under the mulberry trees Yes Mother do mulberries have hard hardbacks hardbacks hardbacks backs and six legs and crawl around on the ground Why certainly not Then Mother said Rollo in stricken tones I 1 feel I have made madea a dreadful mistake What's the point Oh Dh nothing only I 1 got to imagining what the brooding brooding brooding brood brood- ing regrets of some members of the administration and a majority of the members of the senate must be when they recall the alacrity with which they moved to fill a certain recent vacancy in a certain very high court court in in fact the highest one weve we've got Hirsute Virility D pARISIAN ARISIAN believe a u dense arboreal effect of whiskers ers is proof that the wearer is indeed a man without in all cases cases being absolutely convincing con about it We haven't gone that far yet but butI I would like to know whence comes this notion of appraising masculine vigor by the amount of hair along the breast-bone breast Morbid I calls it it Two distinguished authors battle when one intimates the other is scantily adorned in that regard forgetting forgetting forgetting for for- getting that in the immature summer summer summer sum sum- mer of his kind an author has but a scanty growth th as compared compared compared com com- pared with the rich richer r winter coat And then prying reporters ask the new prince of the movies whether he has any fleece at all upon his chest their tone indicating they rather expected to find trailing arbutus there or at least some shy anemone Years ago in the hospital when I Iwas Iwas Iwas was being shorn for an operation I remember remarking to myself that here was the only barber who'd ever worked on me without trying to sell me a bottle of hair tonic e Miss America America 1937 A A T LAST some rational excuse excuse- in moral values anyhow has anyhow has been found for a so-called so national beauty contest The year seventeen-year-old New Jersey Jersey Jersey Jer Jer- sey girl chosen hosen as Miss America of 1937 is not going into vaudeville is not going to make any personal appearances is not coming to Hollywood Hollywood Hollywood Holly Holly- wood for a screen test is not going goin to accept a radio contract is not not even going to write her life lile story for publication She will return to school and to the normal home l life e eor of or a well-raised well normal girl that girl that is unless she changes her mind about about it all If she shouldn't change her mind she stands out as probably the sanest sanest sanest san san- est you young g. g person erson of of her age at present present present pres pres- ent residing on this continent or t should we say this planet If she should change her mindwell mindwell mindwell mind- mind well the American populace has been fooled many a time and oft be be- fore Our grandfathers didn't believe be be- I lieve human beings eings ever could fly i Our fathers didn't believe anybody would ever lick John L L. L Sullivan Only the other day our United States senators didn't believe their fellow fellow- statesman Mr Black of Alabama could be a Klansman They thought that low but persistent sound of Klux Ku Klux u-Klux Ku Klux was but the voice of a modest hen IRVIN S. S COBe 0 o Service |