Show Gassin with Cook V Benevolent Cook presents last will and testament By DAVID MARTIN For those here is the will of Beloved War-like also known as Dry Written in anticipation of an expiration of Martini's lease on this legal instrument unfortunately has gone into effect since its author still in the interests of this unexecuted will is herein offered as evidence in support of the Kinsey Mai de an aborted disarrangement of a post-Thanksgiving movement that's what the doctor said I In consequence I find myself laboring under opiates and the necessity of putting my affairs into Dry being of unsound of uncertain demeanor and of an un-heavenly body slur on my mother's person is hereby my thoughts and sentiments to form my first and sibly my last will and Empty space Realizing that my move toward the grave will leave an empty space in many hearts and in many I wish to soften the blow by announcing that what I am about to do is far better than anything I have ever done or You to the members of the university student body I am going to bequeath my my attributes both earthly and In I might give you something earthly before I am I become a ghostly Santa Item number one in the dous gift list is a vast torso of forbidden knowledge vicariously obtained by following blondes and by logically following the inferences lurking in Dean John Ballif 's impressions of student social motivations in the fields of extracurricular Also included in the gift program is my which is to be given to the university medical Hope they get more use out of it than I To President A. Ray I bequeath a set of asbestos water wings to aid him in his tight rope act between the devil and the deep blue between the Main street gang and the student To the Board of the back of my those bored of my One washbowl To the university football one wash bowl and congratulations on your Skyline Six your supporters have never let you To former Unique editor John who still is a unique editor since he is an editor without a I give a supply of my own brand of ego To an astounding number of My memoirs will not be My executory prefer to make their money through To fellow my surprise at your having read this To heck with giving away anything After I think that I already have given imy dishonorable motives Student World 4 p. Union |