Show what cob b gyi thinks mi u about the state ot of the world ANTA MONICA CALIF S SANTA up in montreal a veteran showman says he talk talks with chimpanzees in their own language I 1 wish hed ask one of his chimpanzee pals what he thinks about the present setup of civilization because I 1 can t find any human who agree as to where we all are ara going and what the chances are ot of get ting there in fact the only two who ap pear to be certain about bout a it are young mr corcoran and young mr cohen 4 and they seem to hesitate at times not much but just a teeny bit which ig di disconcert ing to the lay mind irvin S cobal we are likely to lose confidence even in a comet once it starts wobbling on us I 1 in also upset by a statement from england s greatest star gazer they call him the astronomer royal which by coupling it with the royal family naturally gives astronomy a great social boost in england and admits it to the best circles he says the moon is clear off its mathematically prescribed course cash ves versus u I 1 0 U Is s a few weeks ago the front 0 ONLY pages were carrying dispatches saying the adjustment of great britain s defaulted debt was wa just around the corner economists and financiers had discussed term terms of settlement figures were quoted mainly figures calling for big reductions duct ions on our part but never mind that they were figures anyhow lately the papers have beer strangely silent on the subject perhaps you remember the old story told on the late john sharp williams who frequented a game at washington where sportive statesmen played poker for heavy stakes mostly with those quaint little fictional products called 1 I 0 U s as mediums of exchange early one morning a fellow senator met the famous mississippian coming from an all night session I 1 certainly mopped up he proclaimed I 1 won 3 and what s more 8 75 of it was in cash 0 0 autumn millinery as the poor bewildered JUST i males are becoming reconciled to the prevalent styles in women s hats up bobs a style creator in new york warning us that what we va thus far endured is merely a tore fore taste of what s coming in other words we ain t seen bothin I 1 for autumn he predicts a quaint number with a slanted peak fifteen inches high which aich I 1 take it will make the wearer look like a refugee trying to escape from un der a collapsing pagoda another is a turban entirely composed of rooster feathers A matching coat of rooster feath era goes with this design but in the old days they used hot tar I 1 A third model features tor for its top hamper a series of kal somme brushes sticking straight up nat aurally the hat itself will imitate a barrel of whitewash but the gem of all is a dainty globular structure of scotch plaid can you imagine anything more be coming to your lady wife than an effect suggesting that she s balanc ing a hot water bag on her brow HE lieutenant governor of ohio turges THE urges a return to mcguffey ism for settling modern problems in a mcguffey reader that I 1 met those prize half wits of lit grature the spartan boy who let the fox gnaw his vitals the chuckle headed youth who stood on the burn ing deck the congenial idiot who climbed an alp in midwinter while wearing nothing but a night shirt and carrying a banner labeled ex melsior in order to freeze to death the skipper who when the ship IP was mah wa sinking undertook to calm the ie pa paa f by but wait read the thel its mortal lines A we are lost the captain shouted As he staggered down the stair and then the champion of all the dutch lad who discovered a leak in the dyke so he stuck his wrist in the crevice and all night stayed there in the morning when an early riser came along and asked what was the general idea the heroic urchin said but let me quote the exact language of the book I 1 am hindering the sea from running in was the simple reply of the c child hild simple ill tell the woride nothing could be simpler except an author authority ity on hydraulics who figures that when the atlantic ocean starts boring through a crack in a mud wall you can hold it back by using one small dutch boys boy s arm for a stopper IRVIN S COBB 0 western newspaper union |