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Show Did It Ever. Occur to You That the absconding editor was taken all over camp and introduced in-troduced to bankers and merchants mer-chants as a man of ability and integrity by the owner of the paper. That Christmas is over, smile until the bills begin to pour in. That alarm clocks are not easy bosses, when they call you must answer. That misery loves company, but there is no telling when they will be asking for a divorce. That people who will go out and actually kidnap a poor innocent inno-cent young forty-year-old married mar-ried man should be horsewhipped horse-whipped by the innocent's sweet wife. That conscience tells us which way to go and bawls us out right when-we go the other way. That one can have an open mind and not take cold, but tht i party with an open mouth maj contract something. That there are exceptions in every case, but when a man is going up he gets an encouraging slap on the back, but when reverses re-verses come he is usually given a swift kick. That if you don't want to go under, don't venture out of youi financial depth. That a little praise keeps down a whole lot of criticism. That Mac will open the New Year with something more than promises. That there should be no difference dif-ference between your word and your bond. That the fellow who pays his bills will have no after-Christmas chills. That one way to make friends is to keep your advice to yourself. your-self. That one of the "fafthful Followers" Fol-lowers" of the oldest newspaper in .Bingham howled like hell when he realized he had been "sold." That the sweet young lady steno was also stung when she arrived in Bingham. Truly some men are efficient in the art of spreading fertilizer and they don't haye to be farmers, either. That the modern girl is perfectly per-fectly shocking, because men are so anxious to become shock absorbers. ab-sorbers. That we don't mean to be personal, per-sonal, but it begins to look as. if the serum for 4naking people tell the truth is a fake. That some men have been considered impolite for appearing appear-ing in the presence of ladies in their shirt-sleeves, yet we have seen some ladies who have come out in the presence of men, even on the stage, without any sleeves whatever. r That a spendthrift is one who makes up with, his girl about a month before Christmas. ! That there is no necessity to tell a man he is a liar he already al-ready knows it. That men who stay at home in the evenings don't find many laws bothering them. That it has been said a certain cer-tain Bingham girl closes her eyes when she is being kissed. There has been no name mentioned, men-tioned, girls; so don't get sore. That the farmers kick like bay steers still eggs continue to be sky-high. . hTat Captains Dick and I!ul-lor I!ul-lor were unable to Kcate the carolers when in Salt Lake City. (They should have put a tub of clay on their candle and stuck it in the window.) f |
