Show I 1 A ELLIE aellie VELL 0 ays Y ARS ago when I 1 migrated to JL new ew york from the chicago loop I 1 hung up my hat nuil unpacked my suitcase ault caso in a small hotel and while I 1 had many acquaintances in new york fork I 1 know where to find them thiern the names of the streets and tho the telephone exchanges were all new to me and when an occasion arose to make a memorandum of a name naine address di osa or phone number while conversing ver on the telephone I 1 committed the unpardonable offense so prevalent among thoughtless busy people of making notations on the wall paper near the instrument this delinquency I 1 had just naturally acquired because of my gypsy habit of being continually on the move one evening I 1 returned to my room to dress dresa for dinner at the home of someone I 1 was roost most anxious to visit and found that in my absence painters and paperhangers had been busy removing every vestige of a memorandum while redecorating the walla talk about being sunk without warning gone was the telephone number and street address of my prospective spec tive hostess and as she was not listed in the book my predicament was acute it was exasperating but it cured me of using the wall paper as a memo pad while in the hospital recently I 1 had n somewhat similar experience I 1 had grent great difficulty in keeping letters containing addresses and other information after I 1 once laid them down on tho the table near my bed I 1 could never tell when I 1 would meet them again nurses are no re specters of routes and numbers and when they come to in with dust cloth they sweep everything before them I 1 tried having a n pencil and pad attached to the head of my bed but they were so hard to reach that it involved ringing for a nurse every time I 1 wanted to copy an address so I 1 conceived the idea of 0 making notes on the cast which encased my diaphragm and approached my chin clien various and sundry addresses telephone numbers ant and other data did I 1 commit to it until the day tho the doctor decided my cast should be reinforced at the particular spot it was most convenient to scribble they trundled me into the composing room as the operating room should bo be called and there mo me in long wide gooey bandages wet with plaster of parts when I 1 c came a me to I 1 found ton I 1 had lost FrIgan zas route a week of blanche rings one night stands zelda sears telephone number three names of books I 1 wanted four words I 1 meant antto to look up and three ideas for stories and this one of them the singer had just finished a most pathetic ballad about down in georgia rind edwin franko franke goodman the celebrated bandmaster turned his face away to tilde ills fits vain pain excuse me said his neighbor at the concert you seem much affected are you a georgian no tho the bandmaster replied 1 I am a must musician clau nurse in syracuse breaks a vertebrae while combing ifer her hair said the headline last week a wise crack give her credit wish I 1 had thought of that one it beats beat the excuse I 1 have for mine being broken and say eay girls that a peach of an argument in favor of bobbed hair hairl 41 below Is a bit of poetry in prose sent hent to me by an anonymous contributor it Is the sort of thing I 1 wish I 1 might have written myself so perfectly it Is fashioned to carry thoughts I 1 have always held and treasured and at times wanted to express do not keep the alabaster boxes of your love and tenderness sealed up until your friends are dead fill their lives with sweetness speaking approving cheering words while their ears can call hear bear them and while their hearts can he be thrilled and mado made happler happier the kind things you mean to say when they are gone say before they go the flowers you mann to send for those coans send to brighten and sweeten their homes before thoy they leave them it my friends havo have alabaster boxes laid away full of fragrant perfumes of sympathy and affection fec tion which they intend to break over my body I 1 would much rather they would bring them tham out in my weary and troubled hours and open them that I 1 may lie he refreshed and cheered while I 1 n need ned ed it I 1 would rather jince a plain coffin without a flo lower Nver a funeral without an eulogy than a life without tile the sweetness of love and sympathy let us learn to anoint our friends beforehand foi their burial postmortem post mortem kindness does docs not cheer the burdened spirit lowers flowers on tho the coffin cast no fragrance backward over the weary way anon we vo worry about the death of chivalry I 1 have been bi cn informed by william just ns as long us as tile the man offers tile the woman the first light A surer test of it a gallant nature I 1 believe Is to offer tits his last cigarette 1 the press notices inform me that a producer Is soon mon to try dear relations a comedy if most of us tried our dear relations they an doubt edly would be found guilty tull ty by bi the h rot lot 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