Show M WHY SHE WAS PLEASED do you mean to tell mo that you actually overcame that ancient antipathy tal of yours for mrs and called ledon on her this afternoon said aalde his lifes husband about tho size of it replied her husbands wife and she was glad to see BOO youa you there any doubt about IV it why do you think that well I 1 had on that old dress ive worn three seasons and a hat that Is to a prominent place in some museum for antiquities while she had on a now new gown just from paris oh yes im sure she was tickled to death figuratively speaking when I 1 called mostly hall A new yorker bought one of those fine old colonial places down in virginia principally on information from friends when he went down to see his mansion he was much impressed by the great pillars the spa spacious clous porch and particularly the great hall ball running from the front to the back of the bouse ho he inspected i he place and came back te tc now new york what shall you name it he was asked 1 I think he replied 1 I shall call it mostly hall hair philadelphia satur day evening post no latitude an irish school inspector was examining a class in geography he had propounded a question regarding longitude and received a correct answer from a lad undergoing the ordeal and now he said what is latitude after a brief silence a bright young a merry twinkle in his eye J said gleaso Pl easo sir we havo bavo no latitude in ireland father says the british g government av wont allow us any london scraps WHAT WOULD STOP HER 14 mrs A G it if the women would just rise up assert their rights to the polls aud and demand to vote toto id liko ilko to know what would stop th them em mr A G A mouse still unanswered wo vve are advised to ilat and learn but why alast alas oh why do people seldom learn to alv live e prill just before they dlo dio poor father miss millions george have to ask father george e I 1 dont like tv tc your father always reminds me of eating lobster miss alias millions what do youl you mean by that george hes too rich and bound to disagree with mo me I 1 have hoped I 1 havo hava planned I 1 have striven to tho the will I 1 have added the deed tho the best that was in me ive given I 1 have prayo prayed but the soda gods would not heed I 1 have dared and reached only disaster I 1 have battled and broken m my lance I 1 am bruised by a pitiless axt master er that th the e weak and the timid call chance I 1 am old I 1 am bent I 1 am cheated of all that youth urged me to win but name me ma not with the defeated tomorrow again I 1 begin HIS WORRY I 1 boorem gude now the annual beef bee output is gulper downe it aint tho the output worrying mo me its the int intake alae beginning of tho the end this thing of heaping coals of fire on an head must stop unless cool quits getting higher and prices take a drop from africa s burning strand A boston gentleman was showing a west african who is interested in missionary work a num number berof of photographs what is this asked the visitor gazing in wonder at one of them oh a snapshot taken during a football scrimmage scrim mago at the stadium but has your church no missionaries to send among these people was the quick rejoinder pas pals ultimatum our thursday saturday and monday mornings papers havo have checked up shy for the last three regularly do you suppose they are being stolen pa 1 I know kittys kitrys beau calls wednesday friday and sunday nights I 1 want him to go P 0 o homo home earlier or to stop taking our paper with him two can play at that game howard did you telephone mrs howard that I 1 would be detained at the office until midnight office boy yes sir and what did she say said osuld she blame you she had made an engagement to go to the theater tonight herself S smart mart set heading off remarks 1 I should think said the picture on the wall to the clock that you ought to be preparing for your end look here smarty replied tho the clock with striking scorn dont dont you give mo me that old gag about my hours being numbered A friend in need why does ho he hate bate you so 1 I off offered ored to do him a favor once what was the favor he said he wished he was dead and I 1 offered to give him a bottlo of polso poison and then guard the door until he had accomplished his costro |