Show I 1 L ALWAYS WINS conversation heard on a tra train in for monto monte carlo two travelers unknown to 0 each other chatting familiarly on your way to monte alonto carlo sir that delightful and exclusive home for gamblers that Is exactly where I 1 am going and you will play just a little I 1 suppose 1 I do nothing else sir it is my business gracious you dont mean to say you malte make a business of it yes sir twice a day regularly and I 1 never by any chance los lose e in that case perhaps you will explain your system to me certainly with pleasure I 1 play the violin MARKED DOWN TO ro 5 98 it pleased miss flagg to hear tongues wag about her new fall bonnet but she was mad to find it had the price tag still upon it I 1 inconsistent she says she loves my children but she must deal in chaff for ashes invited them to go and hear lier her phonograph full supply yes said the budding young author 1 I shall leave for the south tomorrow what are you going to do down south asked the publisher why I 1 am going to write a war story and I 1 want to study paudy up southern grit the publisher placed his hand on the young authors shoulder my dear young man he said slowly you dont have to go down south to study up southern grit no of course not just buy a box of southern berries and you will find all the grit you are looking for pats eye opened an irishman more patriotic than clever enlisted in a dragoon regiment with the intention of becoming a gallant soldier the fencing instructor had lahd experienced rather a difficult job in the matter of explaining to him the various ways of using the sword now lie he said how would you use the sword it your opponent feinted bedad said pat with gleaming eyes id just tickle him with the point to see if lie he was shamming too speedy why do you call your chauffeur a leaky vessel does ho he gossip about your parties no buta am always balling bailing hi him out SET IN HER WAY sweet mary alary jano sat fourteen days and deign to rise although liar her folks tried every way to mako make lier liar realize that it was quite unladylike to sit all day and night and never change liar her attitude or her appetite they coaxed and teased and threatened liar her and still she would not stand and when they tried to raise liar her up sho bit then on tile the hand they want to do liar her hatm harm or call in the police and yet the they y sorrowed sor rowed at the thought of mary janes decease but mary alary jane knew what was best she wiser was than men inen sho she sat until shed had liar her set for or mary alary was a lien hen 0 A vain threat A group in thu tho park attracted much attention the other days day it consisted of a languid looking woman reading a novel with a flaming cover a nursemaid who was evidently now new and green and two troublesome little children the youngsters fought screamed and scratched while the maid looked on helplessly at last the novel reader closed her book and said impatiently hilda if you cant keep them quiet send them here to me and I 1 will sing to them oh it wont do any good maam was the weary reply ive threatened them with that twice alrea already dyl how it happened hows this remarked the tall office boy with the newspaper nev shaper sp aper here la is where an educated monkey ran vi a sewing ma machine chiru aw nothing sneered tha short office boy yesterday I 1 saw a mouse run a typewriter come off what are you giving me where did this happen right in the old mans office tho the mouse came ame c from under ane desk and made for the pretty typewriter and 1 ashes running Y yet et her idea of farming husband well I 1 went out to see that little country place we fawad saw advertised verti sed and ive made up my mind to buy it wife oh then well move away from the hateful city for good husband yes its a fine place but theres only 12 acres of ground and half of that is covered 5 by a pond ot of water wife say that will be nice wo we can raise pond lilies and ons in it TOO BAID BAD r I 1 az ae prehistoric pete great scott why dont you get your haircut hair cut ansedt antediluvian luvian arthur well I 1 went to see the barber this afternoon but do you know old chap ho he got goi a sharp rock in the wace place |