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Show j ''"' ft "That man Is very much in the public pub-lic eye." "Yes ; he is as irritating as a cinder from a locomotive." Unusual Type. A rarely gifted orator Was William Henry Bray, Who never made a speech unless He something had to say. What She Had Done. "Those freckles you got on your face last summer have all disappeared, Ethel?" "Yes, mother." ".What did you do to take them e.way, child?" "Nothing, mother." "Nothing at all?" "Well, mother, do you suppose kissing kiss-ing would take them away?" J Rather Spiteful. "I suppose you always think of your wife just before you make your death-defying death-defying leap," said a sentimental admirer ad-mirer of the professional high-diver. "Oh, yes," he replied. "Ever since I overheard a friend of hers tell her she would look well In black, I've taken tak-en precious good care lest some little error of judgment on my part should make her a widow." A Happy Thought. "At the last moment Mrs. Gadders discovered that there were only 13 guests for dinner." "My ! That would never do." "Certainly not, but that woman has a head on her shoulders !" "How did she solvj the difficulty?" I i In Different style of u'ellveryH.liaL a M. " Volunteers. "A woman must have some Interests Inter-ests outside of her home," said the lady politician. "Not necessarily," answered the old-fashioned old-fashioned person. "There are always plenty of bachelor girls who are able and willing to help run the country." ACCOUNTED FOR. Hubby That new cook .1 secured Is certainly quiet. One would never know she was about the place. Wlfey She Isn't. She left this morning. Carrying a Thirst. "Now that your friend Jagsby has a touring car, I presume he will be able to motor through the country and enjoy en-joy the scenery." "You don't know Jagsby." "You think not?" "The only kind of landscape that appeals ap-peals to him Is one whose most conspicuous con-spicuous feature Is a roadhouse." Same Thing. "Are you going to give countenance to tills charge?" "No: I nui going to face It" I WILLING TO OBLIGE. The mere woman had Invaded an In-lelligence In-lelligence office in search of a cook. Having selected one that evidently suited her, the party of the cook part got busy with her question apparatus. "Ifel'ore 1 engage with you, madam," said the cook lady, "I would like to ask you a few questions. "How many servants do you keep?" "Three," answered the mere woman. "And where do you live?" queried the c. I. "Oh, that doesn't matter In the least," replied the other, meekly. "We are willing to move anywhere you want to go." Her Little Joke. It was 11 :4o p. m. according to the gyrations of the cuckoo clock. "There Is something the matter with my watch," remarked young DeBorem. "It doesn't go half the time." "Perhaps," rejoined Miss Wearyun, as she vainly tried to strangle a large open-faced yawn, "it is due to the up conscious power of personal association." associa-tion." Then he took a tumble to himself, and his next move in the game was toward home. An Insinuation. "I began business without a dollar," said the self-made man, "and today I am worth half a million." "Yes," rejoined the observer of things and events, "and I kno a man who had half a million when you began be-gan business, and today he hasn't a dollar." The Arrangement. "Tills is a model prison in Its appropriate ap-propriate lodging of prisoners." "How so?" "All the drunks are beyond bars, the women are in tiers and the intelligent in-telligent prisoners are in brain cells." NO ROSE WITHOUT A THORN. Tfetty face face is her own. Those Auto Tricks. Redd I see when a new automobile fender strikes a pedestrian it gently trips him and then picks him up In a sort of scoop with a minimum of Injury. In-jury. Greene And if the fellow scooped gets mad all you have to say is: "Oh, come now, can't you take a joke?" Entertaining Oneself. "Jagsby tells me that when he has a quart of Scotch, a box of good cigars and a pack of cards with which to play solitaire, he doesn't mini being alont at all." "Umph ! That isn't solitude." "No?" "That's what I would call being the guest of honor at your own party." How It Happened. "You say your cook has been with you 20 years?" "Let me see. Yes, just about 2C years." "How did you happen to get her?" "A friend introduced me. I got busj with flowers, candy and theater tickets and a preacher did the rest." Nullified. "I dare sny Mr. Cubbies feels rathei embarrassed sometimes in the presence pres-ence of his college-bred son. You know, he had little or no education." "I don't suppose it lasts long. Young Cobbles' chronic financial embarrassment embarrass-ment soon puts the old gentlemen al ease." Cause and Effect. "I'm going to leave, mum," announced an-nounced the housemaid to her mistress. "Why, I've been doing half youi work myself In order to Induce you tc stay," rejoined the lady. "Isn't thai enough ?" "Yes'm," answered the girl. "But your half of it isn't doue to suit me. See?" Not Quite Clear. Dlggs What salary do you get? Biggs One hundred and fifty per. Diggs Per week or per-baps'! |