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Show 2about: T) EVERLY HILLS, CALIF. It may be old to you, but it's new out here: Small Prussian town turns out for traveling circus. Ferocious Fero-cious lion escapes; villagers flee madly. Sinewy stranger grapples, single-handed, with ravening rav-ening brute; twisls its jaws, hammers ham-mers Its nose, boots it back Into cage. Entire community starts jubilationflags jubila-tionflags flying, bands playing, burgomaster puts TN. on his high hat, ft" special train rush- Ing the hero to Ber-pjsfc Ber-pjsfc ss3& lin to be deco-v deco-v rated by Herr Hit-V Hit-V ler as relncarna-? relncarna-? ' tlon of ancient Nor-L Nor-L t&sli. die demigods, typi- v V-'J fyln" s'lrIt of 0lJ f v a German stocks all gVjJ that sort of thing. &-! smslf-ii , ,4 Suddenly hideous Irvin S.Cobb discovery is made that stranger's background Is not Teutonic, the family name being Ginsberg. Celebration Cele-bration called off, flags furled, bands sneak home, special train canceled, burgomaster has apoplexy. And next day the local paper comes out with scathing article under un-der the headline. "Jew Attacks Defenseless De-fenseless Lion." Criminal Lawyers. WE'RE a funny people. Did we read "where in some far-off country, men who had access to zoos picked the locks on the cages and freed the man-eating tigers and the blood-thirsty wolves and the deadliest poison snakes to go forth and kill again, we'd marvel at a land which endured such a thing. But when In our own land criminal crim-inal lawyers truthfully boast that, of all the Individuals charged with deliberate murder whom they have defended, no single one ever went to noose or chair, and that ever so many more were, by their skill,' saved from the prisons where we are supposed to pen our human tigers ti-gers and wolves and snakes, we give these geniuses our admiration and much free advertising, and young lawyers crave to follow in their illustrious footprints. We are indeed a funny people so funny it's hard to decide whether wheth-er we should laugh at ourselves or weep. . Husbands and Wives. LOTS of matrimony in the news, now that marriage, instead of being a contract, is a ninety-day option. op-tion. A gentleman who's president of the take a deep breath American Creative League of Harmony and Music Students, declares if ill-suited couples learn the guitar happiness happi-ness would return, the guitar, ho states, being the most romantic instrument in-strument there Is. But once, In vaudeville, I saw a peevish helpmate help-mate crown friend husband with an Inlaid guitar, and it didn't seem to do him any real good. Slowing Up Youth. OBVIOUSLY It's too late to save the confirmed speed-maniacs among the adult population. They won't be with us long, anyhow, and will be missed by but few, If any. Every time one of these madmen whizzes past, I find myself saying to the back of his neck, "Well, brother, glad to have this glimpse at you. Probably I'll not be seeing you again unless I should drop in at the morgue the day you arrive." But maybe we might help to insure in-sure the oncoming generations by Inaugurating a definite course of juvenile ju-venile education. Let's start with the babies; let's make It a fixed and required ritual In every kindergarten, kindergar-ten, every public or private parochial paro-chial school yes, every Sunday school, every Boy Scout camp and at every girl's campfire; every place where youngsters are gathered. Over and over again, let's pound It into them that reckless driving Is neither gallant nor smart nor sporting, but that It is stupid Rnd criminal and vicious and murderous. murder-ous. Desolation of Floods. THE first time we went to Venice my wife looked across the Grand canal and said: "Did you ever see anythinglike it?" And, trying to be funny, I said : "Absolutely, looks just like South Third street did during the big rise in 1913. If right now a fellow In a skiff should come rowing up to this window to collect the water-rent, water-rent, I'd swear I was back home." That seemed a sorry Joke as I read of a monstrous yellow torrent sweeping down on the beleaguered lowlands where my people have lived for nearly a century and a half, bringing ruin on its crest and desolation In its wake. Surely nature has been pitiless this last year drouths and dust-storms; dust-storms; forest fires and smokepalls; I blizzards and Icepacks; and now I these cruel floods. Still amid the I afflictions, one consoling thought gleams like a star: congress will adjourn pretty soon. IRVIN S. COBB. Copyilght. V.'MU 84rvlce. |