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Show vffklPhfipr P fill im THE DICTATOE AT HOME (Continued) Dictator (getting out of bed) Draw me my tub! Wife Don't be funny. You're big enough to turn' faucets. Dictator I'm not accustomed to having my orders disobeyed in that way. Wife Well, that's Just too bad. Quiet, please. I want to sleep little longer. Dictator (from the bathroom) Ella, Where's my shaving cream? Wife How should I know where your shaving cream is? And don't yell so! Dictator I put it on the second shell and It ain't here. I've looked everywhere. Wife (getting up and finding it right on the second shelf) Right under un-der your nose, yet you couldn't find it. And you're the fellow who ij always finding new outlets to the sea! Dictator (dressing) I think Til wear my blue uniform of an aviation avia-tion general today. Wife That funny gerup! Dictator (hurt) I don't think it's funny. . Wife Of course not If you did you wouldn't wear it In all those news reel pictures. Put on your tan uniform of a cavalry coloneL That ain't so hot, either, but it fits. Dictator I'm wearing my blue uniform! Wife Okay. If you want to look like a monkey, it's your own business. busi-ness. Dictator The trouble with you is you don't know a good uniform when you see one. I know style, I do. I know class. I know distinction. distinc-tion. (But he puts on the tan uniform.) uni-form.) Wife (at breakfast) You've got i egg on your chin, honeykins. Dictator Don't call me honey-kins. honey-kins. These eggs are too soft, anyhow. any-how. Wife They're four-minute eggs. Dictator They couldn't have been boiled over three minutes. Wife Four minutes! Dictator Three minutes! Wife Four! Dictator Three! And what are you laughing at? Wife I'm laughing at your inadequacy in-adequacy in debate. If you can't even win an argument over eggs, how do you get away with all those arguments over the destiny of na-j na-j tions? Dictator Enough of this! I'm going go-ing down to the office where I can I find some respect. Wife On your way home tonight, stop at the butcher's and bring me some liver for the cat. Dictator I don't know that I will be coming that way. Wife You heard me. Liver for the cat Dictator Oh. all right But, Lis-sen, Lis-sen, have dinner early. I've get a big conference on about afTairs in the Mediterranean. Wife Not tonight. We've a dinner and bridge engagement at the Spur-geons. Spur-geons. Dictator You'll have to call it o!T. Wife That's what you think. We made this date a month ago and J we can't break it Now run nlong like a nice boy. Dictator (hopelessly) Gee. Ella, can't I ever have my own way in anything? 1 CAN Y0TJ BEAT IT? The ultimate in dog love is report ed by a woman who was trying to j I get another woman on the telephone j the other day. The wire seemed constantly busy. A protest to the complaint operator brought the in- i formation that the phone was evidently evi-dently out of order. The woman making the call finally motored over to her friend's house and told about the trouble. "Oh, yes," replied her friend. "I've had the receiver o(T the hook for the Inst hour so Fido can get her nap. She's awfully nervous lately." FAIR WARNING! There is going to be a sensation In the European war one of these years when a bomber hits a legitimate target. Ad similes: as servile as the Vichy government. OI.I TIM FKS "Charley's Aunt," a comedy which made grandpaw and grand-maw grand-maw laugh their heads oil, has been revived on Broadway. We look for "Uncle Tom's Cabin." "Ben Hur." "Thru the Breakers," "The Great Train HotUiory." "Bertha the Beautiful Beau-tiful Sewing Machine Girl" and tha Byrnes Brothers in "Eight Bells" any day now. Description of n girlish type by R. Koi'lnfs Jr : Vogue on the outside out-side and vague on the inside. |