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Show Ruminatin jf Roundabout i In which R'iminator proposes to dream a lot, think ai little I as necessary, scatter a few bouquets bou-quets while their objectives are still above the sod to enjoy them, and fire a hot-shot now and t!it ii while said Ruminat-or Ruminat-or can enjoy seeing the parks fly. Eat it up wear it out; Make it do, or do without! American soldiers needn't worry about (jetting readjusted to conditions condi-tions at home when they return from the wars abroad. Sergeant l,ecm D. Held has it all fibred out for them, according to the November No-vember 5 issue of "The Stars and Stripes," daily publication for United States armed forces in the Kuropean theatre of operations. Sgt. Held, 2-1, was a radio operator for the Associated Press shortwave listening post at North Castle, N. Y., before the Army picked hi in up and set him down in the Southwest Pacific war theatre. There,, in due time, he came ncross the war department's various vari-ous short guides for soldiers, advising ad-vising them to refrain from criticism criti-cism of cricket, the king and currency cur-rency in England; to boil their drinking water in China, to eat with the right hand only and be generous with cigarettes in Africa. "But thoy aren't going to stay awayfoniuer," Sgt. Held wrote his ox-boss. "When they return, accustomed ac-customed as they are to behavior governed by the printed page, they may not find it easy to adept themselves to our quaint ways. "That is why I have compiled the following list of do's and dont's for the returning soldier, to be included in a handbook entitled 'A Short Guide to the United States.' "Americans usually open a conversation con-versation by asking, 'Well, what's Tiew?' It is not necessary to reply to this except by saying, 'Well, what's new with you?' "The monetary system is rather confusing. Regardless of theii denomination, five, ten and twenty dollar bills are all the same siz. A nickel (worth only five cents) is almost twice as large as a dime (worth ten cents). Two dollar bills are tabu and the natives are extremely superstitious about them. "Listen patiently when Vteterans of the first World War tell how much tougher things were in their day. Remember they had to listen to the Spanish-American war veterans, vet-erans, who in turn had to listen to the Civil war veterans. "In some parts of the United States, eggs in powdered form are unobtainable, and you will have no choice but to eat them directly from the shell. However, it is always al-ways advisable to boil them first. In the rural districts it is also difficult! dif-ficult! to get dried vegetables owing to a lack of dehydrating equipment. "You may be shocked to see beets, turnips and potatoes displayed dis-played in the market in their natural state, with bits of garden soil still clinging to them. Yet when mashed and properly pre-pared, pre-pared, these vegetables can be quite palatable. The natives seem to thrive on them. "In churches and auditoriums and other places you will often see women surreptiously slipping tbeir feet out of their shoes and wiggling wig-gling their toes. This is strictly a feminine prerogative, and has no religious significance. Do not attempt at-tempt to imitate them. Always be tactful. If, for example, you notice that your Aunt Beulah has had her extra chin removed by plastic surgery, don't congratulate her. This operation is known as 'losing face' and the natives are very sensitive about it. "But after all, the best way to understand the Americans is to settle down and actually live with them. They are really a Very friendly people despite the apparent ap-parent ferocity of their handshakes hand-shakes and their violent backslap-ping. backslap-ping. They mean well. Remember, Remem-ber, their civilization is much younger than that of Europe and Asia. They are just great big overgrown children at heart and should be treated as such. "In fact, any woman under 35 may safely be addressed as 'baby, I and when you can do that, buddy, you know you are home again." |