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Show nJmi.Phillipr LL'KE AND ELMER ON THAT SEA CONFERENCE "UTiat do you think of the eight point program?" asked Luke Twitchell of his brother Elmer. "Well, Wilson needed 14," replieo Elmer. "So you see Roosevelt took six strokes off Woodrow's game." "And Roosevelt is playing over a ! much tougher course," said Luke. always the golfer. I "I'll say so." agreed Elmer "They didn't have so many hidden greens in Wilson's time, the course didn't cover so much territory and i there were fewer contestants." "I suppose it ain't quite right to ; speak of a terrible war like this Ln terms of golf." sighed Luke. "Why not?" snapped Elmer. "It has all the violence, bad manners, cheating and general brutality of the public links game, anyhow." i "Why meet on a battleship tc frame a program for peace and I brotherly love?" asked Luke, plainly plain-ly puzzled. "Dramatic suspense, color, mystery mys-tery and all that," explained Elmer. "It ain't so much what you do or j say in a crisis like this. It's how you put it over. That meeting had everything but sex appeaL" "AH it needed was some John Powers' models," nodded Luke. "It got across without 'em," insisted in-sisted Elmer, "but I wonder they weren't used, at thaL John Bull and Uncle Sam are out to fire the imagination of the world, kindle the enthusiasms of all friends- of freedom free-dom and get their message into the mikes and onto the front pages everywhere. ev-erywhere. And this sea huddle did it" "Whoever thought Churchill, number num-ber one man of the British empire, would leave London, fly to sea and hold a conference with the President Presi-dent of the United States in mid-ocean? mid-ocean? And who ever thought the President of the United States could drop everything at Washington tc go to sea for the same purpose?" asked Luke. "It would even have been cut oui of a movie script as ' too farfetched." far-fetched." declared Elmer. "Get the picture! Roosevelt gets on his yachi and disappears in one of the big moments of history. His disappearance disappear-ance is so complete even the news-reel news-reel men can't find him. The suspense sus-pense is terrific. Democrats every-where every-where begin to fear something has happened to him." "And Republicans begin to feai something has not" put in Luke. "Rumors of a conference witr Churchill at sea are spread, but dis credited as something that the hail tonic company would delete as in credible even if Gabriel Heatter put it in his radio broadcasL" contin ucd Elmer. "Nevertheless it turn; out to be the real McCoy." "Can you imagine the fit Hhlei must have thrown when he turncc i aside from his Russian blitz in wha' j he thought was one of his big mo ' ments and realized that Winston anc j Frankie had grabbed all the head lines?" asked Luke. "He's still howling," said Elmei "What do you think of the eigli points themselves?" asked Luke. j "I don't see much new," replici . Elmer. "They're just Wilson's ole j model streamlined and with the fluio drive. But there was nothing wron i with the H points except that w, forgot 'em too soon." "Do you think the Roosevelt - Churchill eight points could havi been improved?" asked Luke. ! "I do," declared Elmer. I "By what?" asked Luke. "By a ninth poinL" snapped El mcr. "A ninth point pledging Unelt Sam and John Bull not to go U sloop standing up in the middle of bowling alley." MORE REVIEW Oh, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Despite each horrible now "facoy" No matter which you try to be I know you're simply Spctu-ct Tracy. nabs Morgan puts It this way, "When in Rome, do as the Gor mans do." Martin Rngnway says Mussolini is so eclipsed lately that Hitler must bo doing his publicity. DU 1 U l I.TY l A GAS I CONOMY MUY1-; Now if I should run out of gns lVsiu sonio rural fenco, Shr thinks it's done lo nuiko r pnss And not for homo drfrnsol dv Holtnquist Athens, no I hi k undrr Nnrt ordrrs. us lo chnnjir llio nninr of r main strrrt from Kl itnkhn l, lioosrvrlt HiMilrvjwd to the liuo tic la Taprr I Kin nor or somrtlum: It will do i' uf 1 1 illrr's own f i to will. |