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Show about: j Poor Lo's Revival. SANTA MONICA, CALIF. Despite the blessings of ' civilization which we have I bestowed upon them, includ-! includ-! ing diseases, whisky, soda pop, and $2 overalls, the j American Indians are in- creasing. j This should give our red brothers 1 cause for worry. Suppose they got ' so numerous that we gave this coun- f fj' try back to them? j Already we are in- L .-j debted to these orig- jf J inal inhabitants for !Ufc i" J quinine, cocaine, g -cotton, chocolate, E - obacco, corn, i beans, squashes, i'?'' j I pumpkins, grape- L j fruit, huckleberries j-, ' i and hundreds of oth- taJ(a. mteti er remedial drugs irvin s. Cobb or foodstuffs. Moreover, More-over, an eminent authority says the curative methods of the old medicine medi-cine man had values which in many respects excelled that the white man has produced and suggests our scientists might well adopt certain aspects of the aborigine's plan. What if we did that very thing and then, by the way of exchange, Invited Invit-ed the tribesmen to take over such trifling problems as an unbalanced budget, our European debts, sit-down sit-down strikes and the younger generation? gen-eration? Cleaning Up the Stage. TT AVING lost their licenses, four-teen four-teen burlesque houses in New York won't ever get them back if the officials keep their word about it. With this example to go by, authorities au-thorities might next try the idea of cleaning up the legitimate stage there the spawning - place and breeding ground of shows in which filthy lines and filthier scenes are 'reely offered to pop-eyed "audiences recruited from what we call our' best families. Poisoning the moral atmosphere of the theater appears to be the favorite sport of a new school of dramatists who, when they were little boys, had their mouths washed out with soap for using dirty words, yet never got over the habit. The Fate of Beauty Queens. TUST as the weather gets warm so " the contestants won't catch anything any-thing worse than sunburn, that outbreak out-break of annual monotony known as the beauty contest will stir the populace popu-lace to heights of the utmost indifference. indif-ference. There will be no dress rehearsals re-hearsals beforehand. With beauty contests, it's the other way around. And then when Miss Cherokee Stripp or Miss Clear View has been hailed as America's prize package of loveliness, she will, if she runs true to form, put her clothes back on and catch the next train for California Cali-fornia with the intention of starring in the movies. On arrival, she will be pained to note that none of the studio heads is waiting at the station to sign her up; also that practically all the starring star-ring jobs are being held by young ladies who, in addition to good looks, have that desirable little thing called personality. And next fall she'll be dealing 'em off the arm in a Hollywood hashery. International Slickers. T) UMORS persist that the United States, Great Britain and France are preparing for eventual agreements on monetary stabilization, stabiliza-tion, tariff and trade adjustments, price-fixing of essential commodities commodi-ties and, believe it or not, brethren and sistren a settlement of the defaulted de-faulted foreign debts owed to us. Maybe it's significant or, if you want to be broadminded and charitable char-itable about it, merely a coincidence that every dispatch from European Euro-pean sources on this matter lists the debts last. And, verily I say unto you, that's exactly when and where they will come last. I seem to see the big three gathered gath-ered at the council table for the final session and La Belle France moving that, everything else having been arranged to the satisfaction of the majority present and the hour being late, the detail of those debts be put over to some future date. John Bull seconds the motion.- Motion Mo-tion carried by a vote of 2 to 1, Uncle Sam being feebly recorded in the negative. A Sense of Humor. DAMON RUNYON, who being wise, should know better, reopens re-opens the issue of whether many people have a sense of humor. This provokes somebody to inquire what is humor, anyhow? I stand by this definition: Humor is tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. Lots of folks think a sense of humor hu-mor is predicated on the ability to laugh at other folks, which is wrong. A real sense of humor is based on our ability to laugh at ourselves. You have to say, not as Puck did, "What fools these mortals be," but, "What fools we mortals be." That's why few women have a true sense of humor. Usually a woman, even a witty woman, takes herself so seriously, she can never regard herself unseriously. IRVIN S. COBB WNU Service. |