| Show Best Gags of the Week J. J Sedlitz habitual of anc and since the first water was in his cu customary tomary shape He had so much alcohol in his system that his veins could have been tapped for turpentine turpentine turpentine tur tur- tur- tur and he was only about three liters short of complete crystallization Having groped his way up the stairs to his apartment at three a. a m. m he pulled out his skeleton key guaranteed guaranteed guaranteed guaran guaran- teed to open anything but catsup bottles anc and let himself into the murky room When J. J Sedlitz couldn't find the lights it was all he could do to find the wall he lit a match that hed he'd been trying to smoke and peered over its dim light into the rather ghastly face of a green bluish-green walrus It was but the work of a moment for Sedlitz to swear off the jug but meanwhile the walrus problem persisted There are only about two things a man can do in a situation like this anc and andI I Sedlitz did the honorable thing Lurching toward to toI toward to- to I ward the port a as opposed to the Bourbon side he tipped his hat and quietly fell on his face Some minutes later he opened his eyes rolled over and faced life with a smile Walruses Walruses Walruses Wal Wal- ruses he thought were a thing of the past I nothing to worry about now but plain old humans humans humans hu hu- hu- hu mans too old and too plain But when he got to his feet Sedlitz found that the old trouble still persisted Over in the corner cleaning its finger nails stood a dinosaur dinosaur dinosaur dino dino- which was lifelike enough to sell him a aquart aquart quart of Penn State oil It wasn't that Sed didn't need a little oil but he thought it was wasa a danged unpleasant advertising stunt so he started to order the creature back to the ice age age Before he could get the words out however however however how how- ever ever his attention was caught t by a skeleton which was doing aj a slow in the middle of the floor Now walruses and dinosaurs might be considered a part of the give and take oi of everyday ar lif life but skeletons are another matter Sed's soft palate did a quick turnover and Sed turned a tattle tale gray neatly trimmed in se sea green Our hero was made of rugged material however and it didn't occur to him to take a powder until he saw Satan himself riding a middle sized griffen and then he sailed through the open doorway and hit his head on the far wall with a jolt that sounded like a celebrating North Sea mine About noon Sedlitz awoke again and surveyed surveyed surveyed sur sur- his position He had a justified suspicion that he had checked in the mortal envelope during the night and was not likely to spend eternity wearing a white robe But after his horrible experience of the night before he was not convinced While looking around for a homeless piece of asbestos however his eyes riveted on a sign which brought him to his knees with a prayer of f thanksgiving HIL HlL LAMS LAM'S COSTUME SHOP SHOP We We can make you look like anything and vice versa And now J. J Sedlitz is back to his jug F. F. F A. A |
