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Show His Deduction. "You recollect that thick-set Widder Smathers, that licked Constable Gun-slum Gun-slum about a year ago?" inquired Mrs. Johnson. "Well, she married him yesterday." yes-terday." "Uh-huh !" returned Gap Johnson of Rumpus Hidge. "Po you reckon she got to thinking it over and finally figured fig-ured that she dkln't punish him enough the first time." Kansas City Star. Musical Note. A very deaf old woman walking along the street saw an Italian turning turn-ing a peanut roaster. She stood looking look-ing at it awhile, shook her head, and said: "Xo, I shan't give you any money for such music as that. I can't hear any of the tunes, and besides it smells as if there were something burning burn-ing inside " The Congregutionalist. The best metals lose their sparkle unless brightened' by use. A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Her Military Aunt. Mrs. Smallwaist was annoyed. Her maid was always going out. "Sarah," said Mrs. Smallwaist, "I cannot have you continually going out. Next Sunday you must stay at borne." "Ob, but 'ma'am, I've promised my aunt to spend the afternoon with her." It was just then that little Jackie chipped in. "Do let her go, ma '." be said. "Her aunt has been made a sergeant, and he's got a new coat with stripes on!" Minneapolis Tribune. Hint for Amateur Painters. When painting or varnishing soft wood, always first paint the wood with shellac and let it dry before painting or varnishing. This saves about half --the --the paint and gives a much harder aad smoother surface to the wood. Few men know when to begin or when to stop. Ignorance and fear go hand In hand. |